50 Jokes from Children That Are Crazy Funny
"What did one ocean say to the other?" "Nothing. It just waved."
Kids are master joke tellers. This is just an unequivocal fact. They may be struggling with pretty much every other aspect of life—they’re still learning to read and write and use the potty and put on clothes by themselves—but when it comes to jokes, they have adults beat every time. If you don’t believe us, you’ve probably never had an original joke told to you by a child. We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but you’ve been missing out on some of the best comedy ever created.
Note: Before you dig in, know that jokes from children are often clever and they’re often wildly nonsensical (to the point that you’re really scratching your head), but the point is that the children get them—and they’re usually delivered with an energy that is too infectious not to make you howl with laughter. Here are 50 of our favorite jokes written by kids, which are so crazy funny that Netflix should be giving them all their own comedy specials. For more sneaky cleverness from children, check out these 40 Lies Kids Say That Parents Always Fall For.
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
For more laughs check out these 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.
Why did the skeleton have no shoes?
Because he had no money to buy them!
For some great money advice, check out 52 Ways to Be Smarter with Money in 2018.
What do spies eat instead of McDonald’s?
For more family humor, don’t miss these 50 Dad Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Hilarious.
What did the fox say to the chicken in the restaurant?
I am sorry we don’t serve seeds here—only chickens!
Do you like ice cream?
Then maybe you should marry it!
And for more on your little ones, know The Best Way to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids.
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing. It just waved!
What do you call a tiger with glasses on?
A scientist tiger!
For more on distinguished animals, here are 15 Animals with Very Impressive Titles.
What is the best thing to say when you live by yourself and you get home?
Honey, I’m home. Just kidding, I live on my own!
Why are zombies fast?
To catch the bus!
What did the pepper say to the cow?
“You one spicy looking cow!”
What two things make your sister happy?
“I love you” and a 50% discount!
What’s brown and hairy and likes to go on holiday?
A coconut on holiday!
Does your dog wear a sunhat when its hot?
No, just pants!
Knock knock, who’s there?
IT IS MONDAY, GO TO SCHOOL!
When do babies go to college?
When they are smart!
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Every dog, ‘cause a building can’t jump!
For more silliness, here are the 25 Monty Python One-Liners That Are Still Relevant Today.
Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?
Because crocodooladoo is good family name!
What do you get when you cross a T-rex and a chicken?
Nothing but death!
Why did the cow go to the movies?
What is furry and lays eggs and also flies?
Hot air chicken egg!
What do you do when a pigeon poops on your nose?
Poop on the pigeon’s nose and never look back!
For more animal coverage, don’t miss these 40 Amazing Animal Facts.
What did the chicken do when it saw a car crash?
Call the police!
What’s the difference between a chicken and a elephant?
An elephant has a huge bottom!
What do cannonballs eat for dinner?
What do get when you cross a vampire, homework, and brussel sprouts?
I don’t know, but it’s probably super dangerous!
Why shouldn’t you go to the fridge without permission?
Because it will come for its revenge!
Why do thieves want money?
They want money because that is their job and they have to do their job!
What do you call a crab crossing a road?
Dead road crab!
What do you call a unicorn that goes to work?
Why does the crow laugh?
Because they are mad, ha ha ha, I am also mad!
Why do lions run faster?
The ER doctor asks a patient, “What brought you here?”
The patient responds, “An ambulance!”
How come a chicken didn’t eat his sandwich?
Because a monkey ate the sandwich!
If you go to the ham contest, what will the man say?
“You won last year, you are not allowed!”
Where did the ghost watch TV all night?
In his haunted castle!
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
He feels bony!
What did the dentist say to the shark?
“Clean them rotten teeth!”
What did the cheese say to the moldy cheese?
“You look unwell, I will take you to Dr. Cheese.”
I appear once in a second, twice in a month, and three times in a year. What am I?
Don’t bother, there’s no answer!
Knock knock, who’s there?
You live on Butt Island.
Why did the banana peel cross the road to see the doctor?
Because it had no bones!
There were two fish in a tank and one of the fish said, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
BECAUSE THE FISH ARE DRIVING THE TANK IN A WAR!
Doctor: You look look like the walking dead.
Man: I just have a cold.
Doctor: Oh yeah, I’m not a doctor, I’m a builder!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Why do sharks have eyes?
So they don’t eat their best pals!
Why are mashed potatoes not cool?
Because they don’t wear sunglasses!
What did the skeleton say to the toilet?
“You will get nothing out of me, I am all bones!”
What is a monster’s favorite food?
People and fish!
What is the size of the biggest shark in the world?
Dive inside water and you will know!
What do you call a dog with small legs?
For more laughs, check out out the 30 Funniest Jokes in Popular Songs.
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