The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage

A little humor goes a long way in marriage.

The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage

A little humor goes a long way in marriage.

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Anyone who’s entered into the bonds of marital bliss can tell you that being committed to one person can be an exhilarating, perplexing, and ultimately hilarious ride. While some relationship issues are best discussed behind closed doors, these celebrities know that Twitter is often a better forum in which to reveal the good, the bad, and the funny of their marriage.

If you’re ready to crack up, check out these hilarious celebrity tweets about marriage. And when you want to heat up your own union, start with the 50 Best Marriage Tips of All Time!

Busy Phillips funniest celebrity marriage tweets

1
On Staying Committed

Those symbols of commitment still mean something to Busy Phillips, even if she can’t wear them. And for more hilarity, brush up on Ryan Reynolds’ 30 Funniest Tweets!

Chrissy Teigen funniest celebrity marriage tweets

2
On Setting Up Future Spouses

Chrissy Teigen isn’t about to let her husband, John Legend, move on so easily when she’s gone. And when you want to snag a catch of your own, try out one of the 50 Pick-Up Lines So Bad They Might Just Work!

Molly McNearney funniest celebrity marriage tweets

3
On Household Chores

Jimmy Kimmel Live! head writer Molly McNearney likes her husband, Jimmy Kimmel, to help, but knows his limitations. And when you want to really crack up, take a peek at the 30 Worst Madame Tussauds Celebrity Wax Figures Ever!

Michael Ian Black funniest celebrity marriage tweets

4
On Scheduling

Michael Ian Black was really big in the 2000s, so how is he supposed to help his wife vacuum? And for more silly humor, check out the 75 Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Funny!

Andy Richter funniest celebrity marriage tweets

5
On Hating Each Other

Andy Richter gets real about what really comes between couples: hatred, in his case. And if you think that’s hilarious, just wait until you read the 30 Funniest Pieces of Celebrity Parenting Advice!

James Breakwell funniest celebrity marriage tweets

6
On Making Time for Each Other

Humorist James Breakwell knows when it’s important to free up his schedule.

Jessica Valenti funniest celebrity marriage tweets

7
On Safety

Writer Jessica Valenti‘s love for her husband doesn’t mean she won’t use him as a human shield.

Stephanie Ortiz funniest celebrity marriage tweets

8
On Protecting Each Other

Stephanie Ortiz, AKA the Six Pack Mom, isn’t going to let her husband—or anaphylaxis—stand in the way of her doing what she wants.

Conan O'Brien funniest celebrity marriage tweets

9
On Fears

You’d be afraid if there was a ginger giant lurking around your house, too.

Mark Agee funniest celebrity marriage tweets

10
On Taking Each Other’s Names

Mark Agee doesn’t need his wife to share his last name, thanks to those convenient first names people have these days.

 

Ellen DeGeneres funniest celebrity marriage tweets

11
On Being Good Neighbors

Ellen DeGeneres loves her wife, even if she knows that her neighbors never will.

Rob McElhenney funniest celebrity marriage tweets

12
On Being Supportive

No invite? No problem, according to It’s Always Sunny star Rob McElhenney, who will always attend events to support his wife, Kaitlin Olson—well, if there’s free booze, that is.

Todd Levin funniest celebrity marriage tweets

13
On Surprising One Another

TV writer Todd Levin knows what it takes to keep the magic alive.

Dax Shepard funniest celebrity marriage tweets

14
On Changing

Dax Shepard knows how to keep his wife, Kristen Bell, safe from bad decisions.

Kristen Bell funniest celebrity marriage tweets

15
On Growing Old Together

Kristen Bell has some high hopes for her golden years with husband Dax Shepard.

Cameron Esposito funniest celebrity marriage tweets

16
On Having a Second Set of Eyes

Being in love is great, but having someone find stuff for you is really great, according to comedian Cameron Esposito.

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

17
On Gift Giving

Humorist Simon Holland doesn’t quite get his wife’s rules about “cute” versus “lazy” gifts.

Stephanie Ortiz funniest celebrity marriage tweets

18
On Dealbreakers

Stephanie Ortiz’ love for her husband knows no bounds. Well, except for the one.

Chrissy Teigen funniest celebrity marriage tweets

19
On Togetherness

A little closeness can go a long way. Just ask John Legend.

Conan O'Brien funniest celebrity marriage tweets

20
On Making an Effort

Conan O’Brien knows that dressing up goes a long way when it comes to keeping your marriage hot.

Dax Shepard funniest celebrity marriage tweets

21
On Bonding

The real glue holding Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard’s marriage together? Dateline’s Keith Morrison, apparently.

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

22
On This is Us

Milo Ventimiglia has left Simon Holland some very big shoes to fill.

Rob Delaney funniest celebrity marriage tweets

23
On Sharing

Rob Delaney isn’t about to let you make him feel bad about his ankle-length skinny jeans.

Jessica Valenti funniest celebrity marriage tweets

24
On Alone Time

Jessica Valenti’s husband’s ability to nap whenever he feels like it will not stand.

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

25
On Social Media

What’s more flattering than having your relationship shared with the world? Oh right, undivided attention.

James Breakwell funniest celebrity marriage tweets

26
On Attractiveness

James Breakwell’s wife wasn’t cutting her husband down a notch while giving him a trim.

Dax Shepard funniest celebrity marriage tweets

27
On Compliments

Dax Shepard readily admits that his better half really is just all-around better than him.

Stephanie Ortiz funniest celebrity marriage tweets

28
On Compromise

It’s for the weak, clearly.

Jim Gaffigan funniest celebrity marriage tweets

29
On Body Image

Jim Gaffigan isn’t ashamed to admit the aesthetic disparity between him and his bride.

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

30
On Shared Finances

Sharing a mortgage, credit cards, utility bills? Fine. A $7 card? Only if you’re out of your mind.

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