The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage

A little humor goes a long way in marriage.

The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage
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Anyone who's entered into the bonds of marital bliss can tell you that being committed to one person can be an exhilarating, perplexing, and ultimately hilarious ride. While some relationship issues are best discussed behind closed doors, these celebrities know that Twitter is often a better forum in which to reveal the good, the bad, and the funny of their marriage.

If you're ready to crack up, check out these hilarious celebrity tweets about marriage. And when you want to heat up your own union, start with the 50 Best Marriage Tips of All Time!

1
On Staying Committed

Busy Phillips funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Those symbols of commitment still mean something to Busy Phillips, even if she can't wear them. And for more hilarity, brush up on Ryan Reynolds' 30 Funniest Tweets!

2
On Setting Up Future Spouses

Chrissy Teigen funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Chrissy Teigen isn't about to let her husband, John Legend, move on so easily when she's gone. And when you want to snag a catch of your own, try out one of the 50 Pick-Up Lines So Bad They Might Just Work!

3
On Household Chores

Molly McNearney funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Jimmy Kimmel Live! head writer Molly McNearney likes her husband, Jimmy Kimmel, to help, but knows his limitations. And when you want to really crack up, take a peek at the 30 Worst Madame Tussauds Celebrity Wax Figures Ever!

4
On Scheduling

Michael Ian Black funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Michael Ian Black was really big in the 2000s, so how is he supposed to help his wife vacuum? And for more silly humor, check out the 75 Jokes So Bad They're Actually Funny!

5
On Hating Each Other

Andy Richter funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Andy Richter gets real about what really comes between couples: hatred, in his case. And if you think that's hilarious, just wait until you read the 30 Funniest Pieces of Celebrity Parenting Advice!

6
On Making Time for Each Other

James Breakwell funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Humorist James Breakwell knows when it's important to free up his schedule.

7
On Safety

Jessica Valenti funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Writer Jessica Valenti's love for her husband doesn't mean she won't use him as a human shield.

8
On Protecting Each Other

Stephanie Ortiz funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Stephanie Ortiz, AKA the Six Pack Mom, isn't going to let her husband—or anaphylaxis—stand in the way of her doing what she wants.

9
On Fears

Conan O'Brien funniest celebrity marriage tweets

You'd be afraid if there was a ginger giant lurking around your house, too.

10
On Taking Each Other's Names

Mark Agee funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Mark Agee doesn't need his wife to share his last name, thanks to those convenient first names people have these days.

 

11
On Being Good Neighbors

Ellen DeGeneres funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Ellen DeGeneres loves her wife, even if she knows that her neighbors never will.

12
On Being Supportive

Rob McElhenney funniest celebrity marriage tweets

No invite? No problem, according to It's Always Sunny star Rob McElhenney, who will always attend events to support his wife, Kaitlin Olson—well, if there's free booze, that is.

13
On Surprising One Another

Todd Levin funniest celebrity marriage tweets

TV writer Todd Levin knows what it takes to keep the magic alive.

14
On Changing

Dax Shepard funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Dax Shepard knows how to keep his wife, Kristen Bell, safe from bad decisions.

15
On Growing Old Together

Kristen Bell funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Kristen Bell has some high hopes for her golden years with husband Dax Shepard.

16
On Having a Second Set of Eyes

Cameron Esposito funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Being in love is great, but having someone find stuff for you is really great, according to comedian Cameron Esposito.

17
On Gift Giving

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Humorist Simon Holland doesn't quite get his wife's rules about "cute" versus "lazy" gifts.

18
On Dealbreakers

Stephanie Ortiz funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Stephanie Ortiz' love for her husband knows no bounds. Well, except for the one.

19
On Togetherness

Chrissy Teigen funniest celebrity marriage tweets

A little closeness can go a long way. Just ask John Legend.

20
On Making an Effort

Conan O'Brien funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Conan O'Brien knows that dressing up goes a long way when it comes to keeping your marriage hot.

21
On Bonding

Dax Shepard funniest celebrity marriage tweets

The real glue holding Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard's marriage together? Dateline's Keith Morrison, apparently.

22
On This is Us

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Milo Ventimiglia has left Simon Holland some very big shoes to fill.

23
On Sharing

Rob Delaney funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Rob Delaney isn't about to let you make him feel bad about his ankle-length skinny jeans.

24
On Alone Time

Jessica Valenti funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Jessica Valenti's husband's ability to nap whenever he feels like it will not stand.

25
On Social Media

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

What's more flattering than having your relationship shared with the world? Oh right, undivided attention.

26
On Attractiveness

James Breakwell funniest celebrity marriage tweets

James Breakwell's wife wasn't cutting her husband down a notch while giving him a trim.

27
On Compliments

Dax Shepard funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Dax Shepard readily admits that his better half really is just all-around better than him.

28
On Compromise

Stephanie Ortiz funniest celebrity marriage tweets

It's for the weak, clearly.

29
On Body Image

Jim Gaffigan funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Jim Gaffigan isn't ashamed to admit the aesthetic disparity between him and his bride.

30
On Shared Finances

Simon Holland funniest celebrity marriage tweets

Sharing a mortgage, credit cards, utility bills? Fine. A $7 card? Only if you're out of your mind.

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