The 30 Funniest Movie One-Liners of All Time

"What is this, a center for ants?"

The 30 Funniest Movie One-Liners of All Time

From life lessons that bear repeating to meme-ified lines that have become part of our cultural lexicon, these hilarious movie one-liners are sure to crack you up. And when you want to impress your friends with your movie knowledge, check out these 30 Movie Facts That Will Blow Your Mind.

Damian Mean Girls funny movie quotes

“She doesn’t even go here!”

Mean Girls (2004)

-Damian (Daniel Franzese) calling out an overly-enthusiastic speaker at an anti-bullying assembly.

Movies, movie quotes, quotable movies

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

The Princess Bride (1987)

-Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) to Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) after he utters “inconceivable” one too many times.

And when you want to add to your movie collection, start with these 37 Movies Every Man Over 40 Should Be Able to Quote.

Heathers funny movie quotes

“Our love is god. Let’s go get a slushie.”

Heathers (1988)

-JD (Christian Slater) to Veronica (Winona Ryder) after picking her up from a bad date.

Movies, movie quotes, quotable movies

“These go to 11.”

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

-Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) to explaining what makes Spinal Tap’s amps so special to Marty DiBergi (Rob Reiner).

And for more movie fun, check out The 30 Funniest Movie Lines of All Time!

the big lebowski funniest movie one liners

“This is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.”

The Big Lebowski (1998)

-Walter (John Goodman) to Smokey (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) when he steps over the line while bowling.

dr. Strangelove funny movie quotes

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room!”

Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

-President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) when a tussle breaks out.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

-The Insulting Frenchman (John Cleese) to King Arthur (Graham Chapman) when he and his knights arrive at the castle.

Goldie Hawn first wives club funny movie quotes

“There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.”

The First Wives Club (1996)

-Elise (Goldie Hawn) to Dr. Morris Packman (Rob Reiner) when he denies her more fillers.

Pirates of the Caribbean amusement Park

“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.”

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)

-Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) as he escapes a hallucination in which he’s surrounded by versions of himself.

Dr. Rumack Airplane

“I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”

Airplane (1980)

-Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen) dismissing Ted Striker (Robert Hays) after he says, “Surely, you can’t be serious.”

Blues Brothers funny movie quotes

“There are 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

The Blues Brothers (1980)

-Elwood (Dan Aykroyd) to Jake (John Belushi) as they try to make it to their gig on time.

Spaceballs funny movie quotes

“I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”

Spaceballs (1987)

-Lord Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) explaining his relationship—or lack thereof—to Lone Starr (Bill Pullman).

Movies, movie quotes, quotable movies

“Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass Hysteria!”

Ghostbusters (1984)

-Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) trying to explain what will happen to New York if an ancient evil makes its way out of a recently-discovered gateway to another dimension.

Grand Budapest Hotel funny movie quotes

“The plot thickens, as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?”

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

-Monsieur Gustave (Ralph Fiennes) to Zero (Tony Revolori) as they investigate a series of mysterious happenings in and around the hotel.

Goldmember funny movie quotes

“There’s only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.”

Goldmember (2002)

-Nigel Powers (Michael Caine) during a tense meeting with his arch-rival, Goldmember (Mike Myers).

As Good As It Gets funny movie quotes

“Sell crazy someplace else. We’re all stocked up here.”

As Good As it Gets (1997)

-Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) to Nora (Lupe Ontiveros) after she asks him to walk an injured neighbor’s dog.

hansel and derek are confused about computers in zoolander

“What is this? A center for ants?

Zoolander (2001)

-Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) to Mugatu (Will Ferrell) upon seeing a scale model of the literacy center named after him.

Superbad funny movie quotes

“McLovin? What kind of stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?”

Superbad (2007)

-Evan (Michael Cera) to Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) on his choice of name on his fake I.D.

Wet Hot American Summer funny movie quotes

“You taste like a burger. I don’t like you anymore.”

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

-Andy (Paul Rudd) ending his summer romance with Lindsay (Elizabeth Banks).

Who Framed Roger Rabbit funny movie quotes

“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

-Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner) explaining her unfairly-earned reputation to Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins).

The Royal Tenenbaums funny movie quotes

“Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hittin’ the cemetery?”

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

-Royal Tenenbaums (Gene Hackman) to Ari (Grant Rosenmeyer) and Uzi (Jonah Meyerson) after he’s been banned from seeing his family.

Indiana Jones funny movie quotes

“It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

-Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) to Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) on how he’s aged.

Back to the Future blockbuster

“Why don’t you make like a tree, and get out of here?”

Back to the Future (1985)

-Biff (Thomas F. Wilson) to George McFly (Crispin Glover) in the diner.

Bridesmaids improvised movie lines

“I’m glad he’s single, because I’m going to climb that like a tree.”

Bridesmaids (2011)

-Megan (Melissa McCarthy) to Annie (Kristen Wiig) after meeting a tall man at a party.

Knocked Up funny movie quotes

“Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond. But it doesn’t last 22 minutes, it lasts forever.”

Knocked Up (2007)

-Pete (Paul Rudd) to Ben (Seth Rogen) on the joys of married life.

Groundhog Day funny movie quotes

“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

Groundhog Day (1993)

-Phil Connors (Bill Murray) conveying his excitement about Punxsutawney Phil’s forecast.

Animal House improvised movie lines

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.”

Animal House (1978)

-Dean Wormer (John Vernon) to Flounder (Stephen Furst) upon reviewing his grades.

Addams Family Values funny movie quotes

“I hope that someday you’ll know the indescribable joy of having children and of paying someone else to raise them.”

The Addams Family (1993)

-Gomez Addams (Raul Julia) to Uncle Fester (Christopher Lloyd) on the joys of parenthood.

Coming to America funny movie quotes

“So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.”

Coming to America (1988)

-King Jaffe Joffer (James Earl Jones), to his son, Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy), on life’s greatest lessons.

Best in Show funny movie quotes

“We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

Best in Show (2000)

-Sherri Ann Cabot (Jennifer Coolidge) to interviewer on her relationship with her much-older husband.

And for more movie trivia, check out The 30 Worst Movie Endings of All Time.

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