The 30 Funniest Movie One-Liners of All Time

"What is this, a center for ants?"

The 30 Funniest Movie One-Liners of All Time
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From life lessons that bear repeating to meme-ified lines that have become part of our cultural lexicon, these hilarious movie one-liners are sure to crack you up. And when you want to impress your friends with your movie knowledge, check out these 30 Movie Facts That Will Blow Your Mind.

1
“She doesn’t even go here!”

Damian Mean Girls funny movie quotes

Mean Girls (2004)

-Damian (Daniel Franzese) calling out an overly-enthusiastic speaker at an anti-bullying assembly.

2
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Movies, movie quotes, quotable movies

The Princess Bride (1987)

-Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) to Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) after he utters “inconceivable” one too many times.

And when you want to add to your movie collection, start with these 37 Movies Every Man Over 40 Should Be Able to Quote.

3
“Our love is god. Let’s go get a slushie.”

Heathers funny movie quotes

Heathers (1988)

-JD (Christian Slater) to Veronica (Winona Ryder) after picking her up from a bad date.

4
“These go to 11.”

Movies, movie quotes, quotable movies

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

-Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) to explaining what makes Spinal Tap’s amps so special to Marty DiBergi (Rob Reiner).

And for more movie fun, check out The 30 Funniest Movie Lines of All Time!

5
“This is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.”

the big lebowski funniest movie one liners

The Big Lebowski (1998)

-Walter (John Goodman) to Smokey (Jimmie Dale Gilmore) when he steps over the line while bowling.

6
“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room!”

dr. Strangelove funny movie quotes

Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

-President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) when a tussle breaks out.

7
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

-The Insulting Frenchman (John Cleese) to King Arthur (Graham Chapman) when he and his knights arrive at the castle.

8
“There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.”

Goldie Hawn first wives club funny movie quotes

The First Wives Club (1996)

-Elise (Goldie Hawn) to Dr. Morris Packman (Rob Reiner) when he denies her more fillers.

9
“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.”

Pirates of the Caribbean amusement Park

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)

-Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) as he escapes a hallucination in which he’s surrounded by versions of himself.

10
“I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”

Dr. Rumack Airplane

Airplane (1980)

-Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen) dismissing Ted Striker (Robert Hays) after he says, “Surely, you can’t be serious.”

11
“There are 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

Blues Brothers funny movie quotes

The Blues Brothers (1980)

-Elwood (Dan Aykroyd) to Jake (John Belushi) as they try to make it to their gig on time.

“I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”

Spaceballs funny movie quotes

Spaceballs (1987)

-Lord Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) explaining his relationship—or lack thereof—to Lone Starr (Bill Pullman).

13
“Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass Hysteria!”

Movies, movie quotes, quotable movies

Ghostbusters (1984)

-Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) trying to explain what will happen to New York if an ancient evil makes its way out of a recently-discovered gateway to another dimension.

14
“The plot thickens, as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?”

Grand Budapest Hotel funny movie quotes

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

-Monsieur Gustave (Ralph Fiennes) to Zero (Tony Revolori) as they investigate a series of mysterious happenings in and around the hotel.

15
“There’s only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.”

Goldmember funny movie quotes

Goldmember (2002)

-Nigel Powers (Michael Caine) during a tense meeting with his arch-rival, Goldmember (Mike Myers).

16
“Sell crazy someplace else. We’re all stocked up here.”

As Good As It Gets funny movie quotes

As Good As it Gets (1997)

-Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) to Nora (Lupe Ontiveros) after she asks him to walk an injured neighbor’s dog.

17
“What is this? A center for ants?

hansel and derek are confused about computers in zoolander

Zoolander (2001)

-Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) to Mugatu (Will Ferrell) upon seeing a scale model of the literacy center named after him.

18
“McLovin? What kind of stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?”

Superbad funny movie quotes

Superbad (2007)

-Evan (Michael Cera) to Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) on his choice of name on his fake I.D.

19
“You taste like a burger. I don’t like you anymore.”

Wet Hot American Summer funny movie quotes

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

-Andy (Paul Rudd) ending his summer romance with Lindsay (Elizabeth Banks).

20
“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

Who Framed Roger Rabbit funny movie quotes

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

-Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner) explaining her unfairly-earned reputation to Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins).

21
“Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hittin’ the cemetery?”

The Royal Tenenbaums funny movie quotes

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

-Royal Tenenbaums (Gene Hackman) to Ari (Grant Rosenmeyer) and Uzi (Jonah Meyerson) after he’s been banned from seeing his family.

22
“It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”

Indiana Jones funny movie quotes

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

-Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) to Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) on how he’s aged.

23
“Why don’t you make like a tree, and get out of here?”

Back to the Future blockbuster

Back to the Future (1985)

-Biff (Thomas F. Wilson) to George McFly (Crispin Glover) in the diner.

24
“I’m glad he’s single, because I’m going to climb that like a tree.”

Bridesmaids improvised movie lines

Bridesmaids (2011)

-Megan (Melissa McCarthy) to Annie (Kristen Wiig) after meeting a tall man at a party.

25
“Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond. But it doesn’t last 22 minutes, it lasts forever.”

Knocked Up funny movie quotes

Knocked Up (2007)

-Pete (Paul Rudd) to Ben (Seth Rogen) on the joys of married life.

26
“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

Groundhog Day funny movie quotes

Groundhog Day (1993)

-Phil Connors (Bill Murray) conveying his excitement about Punxsutawney Phil’s forecast.

27
“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.”

Animal House improvised movie lines

Animal House (1978)

-Dean Wormer (John Vernon) to Flounder (Stephen Furst) upon reviewing his grades.

28
“I hope that someday you’ll know the indescribable joy of having children and of paying someone else to raise them.”

Addams Family Values funny movie quotes

The Addams Family (1993)

-Gomez Addams (Raul Julia) to Uncle Fester (Christopher Lloyd) on the joys of parenthood.

29
“So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.”

Coming to America funny movie quotes

Coming to America (1988)

-King Jaffe Joffer (James Earl Jones), to his son, Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy), on life’s greatest lessons.

30
“We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

Best in Show funny movie quotes

Best in Show (2000)

-Sherri Ann Cabot (Jennifer Coolidge) to interviewer on her relationship with her much-older husband.

And for more movie trivia, check out The 30 Worst Movie Endings of All Time.

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