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107 Flirty Jokes to Help You Land "The One"

Use these flirtatious jokes to express your interest and make your sweetheart smile.

Flirting doesn't come naturally to everybody, but it's a whole lot easier to charm the object of your affections if you can be funny. Seriously—studies suggest that the more often men make the women they're pursuing laugh, the more likely the relationship is to turn romantic. It's a cyclical kind of thing, too: Not only will being funny help you get the girl, but the harder she falls, the funnier you'll seem. So, in the interest of kickstarting the romance and keeping it alive, we've merged all things funny and the flirty. Below, you'll find the best flirty jokes the internet has to offer, each guaranteed to demonstrate that sense of humor and help you land your catch.

RELATED: 83 Funny Love Jokes for Every Hopeless Romantic

Good Flirty One Liners

Man sitting next to giggling woman on park bench
Motortion Films/Shutterstock
  1. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  2. Your name must be Coca-Cola because you're so-da-licious.
  3. You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly.
  4. Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element.
  5. Me without you is like a nerd without braces.
  6. Baby, if you were a fruit you'd be a fine-apple.
  7. I want to be your handbag so I never leave your side.
  8. I thought happiness started with an H, so why does mine start with U?
  9. Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?
  10. You smell like trash… Can I take you out?
  11. I hope you know CPR 'cuz you just took my breath away.
  12. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have an entire galaxy in my hand.
  13. You know, you have repainted my life with colors that were previously unknown to me.
  14. My love for you is like dividing by zero—it cannot be defined.
  15. If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I'm just stunned by your beauty.

RELATED: 100+ Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh

Best Flirty Jokes for Her

Man and woman drinking and laughing at coffee shop
Jacob Lund/Shutterstock
  1. Excuse me? Do you work at Little Caesars? Cuz ur hot and I'm ready.
  2. Do you know what's on the Valentine's Day menu? Me-n-u.
  3. Do you like Nintendo? Because "Wii" would look good together.
  4. A girl in a restaurant asked me if I was single. I happily replied, "Yes." Then she took the extra chair in front of me and left.
  5. Girls are like internet domain names. Usually, the ones I like are already taken.
  6. Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
  7. Boy: You know, unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy Girl: Why? Are you leaving?
  8. Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry gave you a tan.
  9. Do you like my shirt? It's made out of boyfriend material.
  10. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? "I'm sweet about you!"
  11. Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie.
  12. Are you the energizer bunny? Cause you just keep going and going through my mind.
  13. Your smile is like a black hole. Nothing can escape it's pull.
  14. Is your dad a boxer? Because you're a knockout.
  15. Is your dad Liam Neeson? Because I'm Taken with you.

RELATED: 101 Actually Funny Clean Jokes for Any Situation

Flirty Knock-Knock Jokes

Woman hugging another woman from behind in the park – Yuri A/Shutterstock
  1. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cheese. Cheese who? Cheese a cute girl!
  2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Anita. Anita who? Anita kiss, please!
  3. Knock, knock. Who's there? Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda who? Baby Yoda one for me!
  4. Knock, knock. Who's there? Wire. Wire who? Wire you still not in my phone's contacts list?
  5. Knock, knock. Who's there? Evvie. Evvie who? Evvie thing that I have is yours, darling!
  6. Knock, knock. Who's there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy you think we can go on a date?
  7. Knock, knock. Who's there? Police. Police who? Police tell me I'm your type!
  8. Knock, knock. Who's there? A herd. A herd who? A herd you like girls who tell knock-knock jokes!
  9. Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl be seeing you soon, right?
  10. Knock, knock. Who's there? Do-ya. Do-ya who? Do-ya want to be my girlfriend?
  11. Knock, knock. Who's there? Gopher. Gopher who? Gopher me, obviously!
  12. Knock, knock. Who's there? Eyesore. Eyesore who? Eyesore do like you!
  13. Knock, knock. Who's there? Pauline. Pauline who who? I think I'm Pauline in love with you!
  14. Knock, knock. Who's there? Candice. Candice who? Candice be love?
  15. Knock, knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you a whole lot!

Funny Jokes About Long-Term Relationships

man and woman cuddling while drinking wine
Ground Picture/Shutterstock
  1. Sweetheart, you are the most beautiful woman at this party! Did you invite all these homely guests here on purpose?
  2. My boyfriend asked to play doctor. I kept him waiting outside the bedroom door for an hour.
  3. What type of ship has two mates but no captain? A relationship.
  4. Have you seen the new divorced Barbie? She comes with all of Ken's stuff.
  5. I had a one-night stand last year that went horribly wrong. We're married now.
  6. My wife always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator. I guess we are raised differently.
  7. My boyfriend left me for being too old-fashioned. It's a shame. I thought we had great alchemy.
  8. Losing a significant other can be hard. In some cases, it's impossible.
  9. I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
  10. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Sometimes you look at your X and wonder Y.
  11. My wife keeps telling me that I'm the cheapest person she has ever met in her life. I'm not buying it.
  12. My boyfriend thinks I don't respect his privacy enough. At least, that's what it says in his journal.
  13. My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she was sorry she ever married me.
  14. I thought I won the argument with my wife about how to arrange the dining room. But when I got home the tables were turned.
  15. My boyfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
  16. My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with wearing different outfits throughout the day. I said, "Wait, I can change."

RELATED: 100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At

Hilarious Jokes for Texts

Man carrying a skateboard and looking down at his phone laughing
  1. You wanna know who's amazing and has the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again.
  2. Guess what I'm not wearing right now? (Hint: socks).
  3. Olive juice. Say it fast.
  4. You're my favorite veggie—a cute-cumber!
  5. You're the star of my rom-com.
  6. You remind me a lot of a keyboard—you're just my type.
  7. Are you a triangle? Because you're acute.
  8. Are you free for the rest of your life?
  9. My love language is physical touch. Want a present?
  10. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for.
  11. My friend wants to know if you think I'm hot.
  12. I'd rather do nothing with you than something with anyone else.
  13. Want to make a beautiful memory together?
  14. Are you a photographer? Because I can already picture us together.
  15. When can I see you again? Pick a day that ends in Y.
  16. Hey, stranger! Wait, why are we still strangers? Let's fix that.

RELATED: 100 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At

Flirty Puns

two men joking around in the kitchen
RossHelen / Shutterstock
  1. I gave my date a bottle of tonic water. Schwepped her right off her feet.
  2. Pie like you very much.
  3. You bake me crazy.
  4. Tortellini in love with you
  5. I love you once and flor-al.
  6. We're a matcha made in heaven.
  7. You're one in a chameleon.
  8. I wood never leaf you.
  9. Aloe, is it me you're looking for?
  10. No bunny compares to you.
  11. Owl always love you.
  12. I dig you a hole lot
  13. Just in queso you didn't know, we're meant to be together.
  14. I have so mushroom in my heart for you!
  15. You're all that and dim sum.

RELATED: 184 Dad Jokes So Bad They're Actually Hilarious.

Flirty Pickup Lines

Woman sitting at cafe table and smiling at a man at another table
  1. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by you again?
  2. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.
  3. You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.
  4. I was blinded by your beauty; I'm going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.
  5. I may not be the best-looking guy here, but I'm the only one with anything interesting to say.
  6. My parents told me not to talk to strangers, but I'll make an exception for you.
  7. Handsome, sweet, intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well… Enough about me! How about you?
  8. If kissing is spreading germs then how about we start an epidemic?
  9. You're like milk, I want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.
  10. What's your favorite drink? I'm asking so I know what to buy you on our first date.
  11. You're cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter. I just want to take you home.
  12. Did you know it's hunting season? What's a fox like you doing out here alone?
  13. Hi, can I get your baseball jersey? You know your name and number?
  14. When a penguin finds its mate, they stay together forever. So, will you be my penguin?
  15. Hi, I'm writing a phone book, can I have your number?

Wrapping Up

That's it for our list of flirty jokes, but be sure to check back with us soon for even more laughs. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next!

Carrie Weisman
Carrie Weisman oversees all SEO efforts at Best Life. She specializes in content optimization and editorial marketing. Read more
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