Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes That Definitely Aren't for Kids
If these off-color gags don't make you giggle, you're officially more mature than us.
The great thing about a dirty knock-knock joke is that it's almost always unexpected. There's just something inherently innocent and family-friendly about the setup for a knock-knock joke, so when it takes a left turn and the punchline is jaw-droppingly filthy—so much that you look around the room to make sure there are no children present—it gives you a new appreciation for this classic joke formula. Don't get us wrong, dirty knock-knock jokes are still groaners, but they're groaners that also make you blush. Here are 60 bawdy and off-color favorites. Share with others at your own risk.
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Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes Just for Adults
- Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Disguise.
Disguise who?
Disguise is your boyfriend?
You could do so much better. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juicy. Juicy who?
Juicy that lady's rack? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Centipede.
Centipede who?
Centipede on the Christmas tree. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell Map.
Smell Map who?
Oh, you are so disgusting. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Willie Stroker.
Willie Stroker who?
Willie Stroker or should I? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
[Sexy voice]: Who would you like it to be? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ima Reilly.
Ima Reilly who?
Ima Reilly excited to see you naked later. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
When where.
When where who?
Tonight, my place, you and me. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Foreskin.
Foreskin who?
The world's greatest foreskin teller. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Adolph.
Adolph who?
Adolph ball hit me right in the crotch. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cam.
Cam who?
Camel toe. Do you have any pants I can borrow? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Budweiser.
Budweiser who?
Budweiser knock-knock jokes all so filthy? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
King Henry the Second.
King Henry the Second who?
King Henry, the second the queen leaves, we'll bring in the strippers. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mayan Ipples.
Mayan Ipples who?
Mayan Ipples are so hard right now.
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Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes for Him
- Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Idaho.
Idaho who?
No! You da ho! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Stop crying you wimp, it's just a joke. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
God bless you. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jack.
Jack who?
I'm the Jack Goff. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Baby owl.
Baby owl who?
Baby owl see you later at my place? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama.
Yo mama who?
Yo mama woke up in my bed again. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
You're justin time to wipe my bottom. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anita Colo.
Anita Colo who?
Anita colonoscopy. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ivanna Seymour.
Ivanna Seymour who?
Ivanna Seymour butts. - Knock, knock.
Who's there? Waiter.
Waiter who?
Just waiter I get my hands on you. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Urine.
Urine who?
Urine secure, don't know what for. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Parton.
Parton who?
Parton my French. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mike.
Mike who?
Mike Weiner. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Help madam finger is stuck in the door.
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Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes About Sex
- Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Helda dick.
Helda dick who?
I helda dick and the wind blew it for me. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ben Dover.
Ben Dover who?
Ben Dover and I'll give you a big surprise. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis member suffice? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream all night if you're lucky. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jamaican.
Jamaican who?
Jamaican me horny. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tara.
Tara who?
Tara McClosoff. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have a condom handy? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Amanda.
Amanda who?
Amanda lay you, and then your lonely nights are over. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Buster.
Buster who?
Buster Cherry. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I'm poor knee.
I'm poor knee who?
I guess we have to do something about that. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not someone.
Not someone who?
Not someone who will get you laid. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tanaka.
Tanaka who?
Tanaka you up. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ben Hur.
Ben Hur who?
Ben Hur over. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hop on.
Hop on who?
Hop on dis dick. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ike.
Ike who?
Ike can rock your world, baby. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mike. Mike who?
Mike Litoris. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Baghdad.
Baghdad who?
I'd love to see you Baghdad butt up.
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Dirty Jokes Guaranteed to Make Your Girlfriend Squirm
- Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Khan.
Khan who?
Khan-dom broke. I hope you're on the pill. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dozer.
Dozer who?
Dozer the biggest breasts I've ever seen. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Do you want two CDs?
Do you want two CDs who?
Do you want to CDs nudes? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A yam.
A yam who?
A yam so wet for you right now. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Butch, Jimmy and Joe.
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?
Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let's Joe. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Budweiser.
Budweiser who?
Budweiser mother taking her clothes off? - Knock knock.
Who's there?
Jenny Tull.
Jenny Tull Who?
Jenny Tull warts. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Izzy Data.
Izzy Data who?
Izzy Data test tube in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Amanda squeeze.
Amanda squeeze who?
Amanda squeeze you all night. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna hide this dead body? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Idaho.
Idaho who?
I da ho! Where da John? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana kiss your lips. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bee.
Bee who?
I like the view from bee-hind you. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your wife.
Wrapping Up
That's it for our list of dirty knock-knock jokes. Be sure to check back with us soon for fun. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next!