Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes That Definitely Aren't for Kids

If these off-color gags don't make you giggle, you're officially more mature than us.

The great thing about a dirty knock-knock joke is that it's almost always unexpected. There's just something inherently innocent and family-friendly about the setup for a knock-knock joke, so when it takes a left turn and the punchline is jaw-droppingly filthy—so much that you look around the room to make sure there are no children present—it gives you a new appreciation for this classic joke formula. Don't get us wrong, dirty knock-knock jokes are still groaners, but they're groaners that also make you blush. Here are 60 bawdy and off-color favorites. Share with others at your own risk.

RELATED: 140 Dark Jokes for Those Who Need a Twisted Laugh.

Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes Just for Adults

Adults only text on box paper held by 2 hands with isolated blue sky background
sidewinderz/Shutterstock
  1. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Disguise.
    Disguise who?
    Disguise is your boyfriend?
    You could do so much better.
  2. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Juicy. Juicy who?
    Juicy that lady's rack?
  3. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Centipede.
    Centipede who?
    Centipede on the Christmas tree.
  4. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Smell Map.
    Smell Map who?
    Oh, you are so disgusting.
  5. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Willie Stroker.
    Willie Stroker who?
    Willie Stroker or should I?
  6. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    [Sexy voice]: Who would you like it to be?
  7. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Ima Reilly.
    Ima Reilly who?
    Ima Reilly excited to see you naked later.
  8. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    When where.
    When where who?
    Tonight, my place, you and me.
  9. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Foreskin.
    Foreskin who?
    The world's greatest foreskin teller.
  10. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Adolph.
    Adolph who?
    Adolph ball hit me right in the crotch.
  11. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Cam.
    Cam who?
    Camel toe. Do you have any pants I can borrow?
  12. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Budweiser.
    Budweiser who?
    Budweiser knock-knock jokes all so filthy?
  13. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    King Henry the Second.
    King Henry the Second who?
    King Henry, the second the queen leaves, we'll bring in the strippers.
  14. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Mayan Ipples.
    Mayan Ipples who?
    Mayan Ipples are so hard right now.

RELATED: 209 Dad Jokes So Bad They're Actually Hilarious

Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes for Him

nerdy man laughing at dirty knock knock jokes
tudio Romantic/Shutterstock
  1. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Idaho.
    Idaho who?
    No! You da ho!
  2. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Boo.
    Boo who?
    Stop crying you wimp, it's just a joke.
  3. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Hatch.
    Hatch who?
    God bless you.
  4. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Jack.
    Jack who?
    I'm the Jack Goff.
  5. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Baby owl.
    Baby owl who?
    Baby owl see you later at my place?
  6. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Yo mama.
    Yo mama who?
    Yo mama woke up in my bed again.
  7. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Justin.
    Justin who?
    You're justin time to wipe my bottom.
  8. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Anita Colo.
    Anita Colo who?
    Anita colonoscopy.
  9. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Ivanna Seymour.
    Ivanna Seymour who?
    Ivanna Seymour butts.
  10. Knock, knock.
    Who's there? Waiter.
    Waiter who?
    Just waiter I get my hands on you.
  11. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Urine.
    Urine who?
    Urine secure, don't know what for.
  12. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Parton.
    Parton who?
    Parton my French.
  13. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Mike.
    Mike who?
    Mike Weiner.
  14. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Madam.
    Madam who?
    Help madam finger is stuck in the door.

RELATED: 150+ Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh.

Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes About Sex

half-peeled banana resting against peeled banana against pink background
DenisProduction.com/Shutterstock
  1. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Helda dick.
    Helda dick who?
    I helda dick and the wind blew it for me.
  2. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Ben Dover.
    Ben Dover who?
    Ben Dover and I'll give you a big surprise.
  3. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Willis.
    Willis who?
    Willis member suffice?
  4. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Ice cream.
    Ice cream who?
    Ice cream all night if you're lucky.
  5. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Jamaican.
    Jamaican who?
    Jamaican me horny.
  6. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Tara.
    Tara who?
    Tara McClosoff.
  7. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Dewey.
    Dewey who?
    Dewey have a condom handy?
  8. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Amanda.
    Amanda who?
    Amanda lay you, and then your lonely nights are over.
  9. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Buster.
    Buster who?
    Buster Cherry.
  10. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    I'm poor knee.
    I'm poor knee who?
    I guess we have to do something about that.
  11. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Not someone.
    Not someone who?
    Not someone who will get you laid.
  12. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Tanaka.
    Tanaka who?
    Tanaka you up.
  13. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Ben Hur.
    Ben Hur who?
    Ben Hur over.
  14. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Hop on.
    Hop on who?
    Hop on dis dick.
  15. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Ike.
    Ike who?
    Ike can rock your world, baby.
  16. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Mike. Mike who?
    Mike Litoris.
  17. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Baghdad.
    Baghdad who?
    I'd love to see you Baghdad butt up.

RELATED: 250 Stupid Jokes So Bad They're Actually Funny

Dirty Jokes Guaranteed to Make Your Girlfriend Squirm

woman looking embarrassed over dirty knock knock jokes
WAYHOME studio/Shutterstock
  1. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Khan.
    Khan who?
    Khan-dom broke. I hope you're on the pill.
  2. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Dozer.
    Dozer who?
    Dozer the biggest breasts I've ever seen.
  3. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Howie.
    Howie who?
    Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband?
  4. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Do you want two CDs?
    Do you want two CDs who?
    Do you want to CDs nudes?
  5. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    A yam.
    A yam who?
    A yam so wet for you right now.
  6. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Butch, Jimmy and Joe.
    Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?
    Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let's Joe.
  7. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Budweiser.
    Budweiser who?
    Budweiser mother taking her clothes off?
  8. Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Jenny Tull.
    Jenny Tull Who?
    Jenny Tull warts.
  9. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Izzy Data.
    Izzy Data who?
    Izzy Data test tube in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
  10. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Amanda squeeze.
    Amanda squeeze who?
    Amanda squeeze you all night.
  11. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Howie.
    Howie who?
    Howie gonna hide this dead body?
  12. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Idaho.
    Idaho who?
    I da ho! Where da John?
  13. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Ivana.
    Ivana who?
    Ivana kiss your lips.
  14. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Bee.
    Bee who?
    I like the view from bee-hind you.
  15. Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Not your wife.

Wrapping Up

That's it for our list of dirty knock-knock jokes. Be sure to check back with us soon for fun. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next!

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