33 Funny Pirate Jokes That "Arrrgh" Total Hidden Treasures!

Laugh your booty off with these Jolly Roger jokes.

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Ahoy, matey! It's Talk Like a Pirate Day and you know what that means: It's time brush up on yer best pirate humor. To get ye old scalawags started, we've rounded up a list of funny pirate jokes that will have ye laughing yer booty off from here to the Caribbean. Just take a hook—ahem, look—yourself!

1
What did the ocean say to the pirate?

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Nothing, it just waved!

2
How do pirates prefer to communicate?

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Aye to aye!

3
Why couldn't the pirate crew play cards?

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Because the captain was standing on the deck!

4
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?

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An arm and a leg!

5
What's a pirate's favorite type of exercise?

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The plank!

6
What do you call a pirate who skips class?

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Captain Hooky!

7
What kind of grades does a pirate get in school?

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High seas!

8
What did the pirate wear on Halloween?

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A pumpkin patch!

9
Why are pirates called pirates?

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Because they arrrr!

10
What did one pirate say to another during a game of hide-and-seek?

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"I sea you!"

11
What was the name of the most frugal pirate?

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Barry D. Treasure!

12
What's a pirate's favorite kind of fish?

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A swordfish!

13
Why was the pirate ship so cheap?

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It was on sail!

14
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

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Shiver me timbers!

15
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

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A buck-an-ear!

16
What's a pirate's favorite movie?

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Booty and the Beast!

17
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

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Because they can spend years at C!

18
Why did the pirate give up playing golf?

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Because he kept hooking the ball!

19
Why was it so hard to call the pirate on the phone?

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Because he left it off the hook.

20
Where do pirates go for a drink?

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The sand bar!

21
Where's a pirate's favorite place to eat breakfast?

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IHOP!

22
What do you call a pirate's hairstyle?

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A crew cut!

23
Why should you never take away a pirate's p?

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Because he becomes irate!

24
Which Star Wars character do pirates like the most?

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Aarrrrggh-2-D2!

25
What do pirates do on Black Friday?

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Shop the sails!

26
How do pirates make their money?

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By hook or by crook!

27
Why did the pirate cross the road?

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To get to the second-hand shop!

28
What print do pirates wear on their socks?

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Arrrrgghyle!

29
What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?

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A rookie!

30
What shivers at the bottom of the ocean?

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A nervous wreck!

31
Which restaurant did the buccaneer go out to for dinner?

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Long John Silver's!

32
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

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A carrot!

33
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

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Aye matey!

And for more ways to celebrate getting older, check out these 60 Hilarious Birthday Jokes & Puns to Send Your Friends.

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