33 Funny Pirate Jokes That "Arrrgh" Total Hidden Treasures!

Laugh your booty off with these Jolly Roger jokes.

33 Funny Pirate Jokes That "Arrrgh" Total Hidden Treasures!
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Ahoy, matey! It's Talk Like a Pirate Day and you know what that means: It's time brush up on yer best pirate humor. To get ye old scalawags started, we've rounded up a list of funny pirate jokes that will have ye laughing yer booty off from here to the Caribbean. Just take a hook—ahem, look—yourself!

1
What did the ocean say to the pirate?

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Nothing, it just waved!

2
How do pirates prefer to communicate?

man dressed as pirate with eye patch and sword Shutterstock

Aye to aye!

3
Why couldn't the pirate crew play cards?

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Because the captain was standing on the deck!

4
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?

gold pirate hook Shutterstock

An arm and a leg!

5
What's a pirate's favorite type of exercise?

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The plank!

6
What do you call a pirate who skips class?

large ship in ocean - pirate jokes Shutterstock

Captain Hooky!

7
What kind of grades does a pirate get in school?

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High seas!

8
What did the pirate wear on Halloween?

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A pumpkin patch!

9
Why are pirates called pirates?

man dressed as pirate - pirate jokes Shutterstock

Because they arrrr!

10
What did one pirate say to another during a game of hide-and-seek?

man dressed as a irate looks out over ship ocean Shutterstock

"I sea you!"

11
What was the name of the most frugal pirate?

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Barry D. Treasure!

12
What's a pirate's favorite kind of fish?

large swordfish on the water Shutterstock

A swordfish!

13
Why was the pirate ship so cheap?

large ship in ocean - pirate jokes Shutterstock

It was on sail!

14
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

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Shiver me timbers!

15
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

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A buck-an-ear!

16
What's a pirate's favorite movie?

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Booty and the Beast!

17
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

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Because they can spend years at C!

18
Why did the pirate give up playing golf?

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Because he kept hooking the ball!

19
Why was it so hard to call the pirate on the phone?

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Because he left it off the hook.

20
Where do pirates go for a drink?

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The sand bar!

21
Where's a pirate's favorite place to eat breakfast?

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IHOP!

22
What do you call a pirate's hairstyle?

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A crew cut!

23
Why should you never take away a pirate's p?

johnny depp pirates of the caribbean Walt Disney Pictures

Because he becomes irate!

24
Which Star Wars character do pirates like the most?

rd dr2 robot star wars droid, star wars jokes Lucasfilm

Aarrrrggh-2-D2!

25
What do pirates do on Black Friday?

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Shop the sails!

26
How do pirates make their money?

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By hook or by crook!

27
Why did the pirate cross the road?

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To get to the second-hand shop!

28
What print do pirates wear on their socks?

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Arrrrgghyle!

29
What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?

man dressed as pirate image Shutterstock

A rookie!

30
What shivers at the bottom of the ocean?

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A nervous wreck!

31
Which restaurant did the buccaneer go out to for dinner?

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Long John Silver's!

32
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

African Grey Parrot - funniest jokes Shutterstock

A carrot!

33
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

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Aye matey!

And for more ways to celebrate getting older, check out these 60 Hilarious Birthday Jokes & Puns to Send Your Friends.

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