100 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At
These cheesy jokes are sure to make you crack a smile.
Here's a fun fact for you: Do you know why we call cringe-worthy jokes "corny"? It started in the early 20th century, when mail-order seed catalogs tried to make their boring products shine by promoting them with dad jokes and really terrible puns. Just how bad were these quips about corn? Here's one for you: "What did the corn say when he was complimented? Aw, shucks." Here's another: "What did one ear of corn say to the other? Don't look now, but we're being stalked." What do you think? Pretty corny, huh? Anyway, that's where corny jokes got their name, and the tradition continues today, although they're not exclusive to seed catalogs anymore—and they're rarely (if ever) about farming supplies.
Here are 100 of our favorites, guaranteed to make you laugh, even if the rational part of your brain wants to resist. We promise you, we're not trying to sell you seeds. These corny jokes are just for your enjoyment.
RELATED: 55 of the Best Yo Mama Jokes of All Time.
Best Corny Jokes for Adults
- How do you stop a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit card!
- What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending!
- Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
- What is the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
- What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed veggie!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one!
- What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!
- Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
- What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?
- What do you call a man that irons clothes?
- How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut!
- RIP, boiling water.
You will be mist!
- What do you call a pile of cats?
- What kind of music do planets like?
- How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool!
- What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
A receding hare line!
- Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!
- Where does the electric cord go shopping?
The outlet mall, of course!
- Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
- What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
"Give me my quarterback!"
- What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
- Why can't you trust the king of the jungle?
Because he's always lion!
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All of the fans left!
- What kind of cheese isn't yours?
- I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
Then it hit me!
- Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
He was a little shellfish!
Corny Dad Jokes
- Did you hear about the population of Ireland's capital?
- What's a bear with no teeth called?
A gummy bear!
- What kind of music do mummies listen to?
- How do you make a Venetian blind?
Poke him in the eyes!
- What do you call it when Batman skips church?
- What would bears be without bees?
- Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
He takes things personally!
- Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?
Because he was always lost at C!
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because otherwise they'd be called a bagel!
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
- What's brown and sticky?
- Why are elephants wrinkly?
Have you ever tried to iron one?
- How do you make a Swiss roll?
Push him down a hill!
- How do you impress a female baker?
Bring her flours!
- What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
- What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?
- How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?
With a cow-culator!
- How many lips does a flower have?
- Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!
- What's that restaurant on the moon like?
It's OK, but there is no atmosphere!
- What's a pepper that won't leave you alone?
- Where was King David's temple located?
Beside his ear!
- What job did the frog have at the hotel?
- What did the cake say to the fork?
"Want a piece of me?!"
- What do you call a group of unorganized cats?
- When does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
- How do you make an egg roll?
You push it!
- When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!
- Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because his parents were in a jam!
- Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb!
More Funny Corny Jokes
- How do you make an octopus laugh?
- What's red and bad for your teeth?
- I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I'll let you know what comes first!
- Why can't you trust duck doctors?
Because they're all quacks!
- Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Because crack up too easily!
- What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships!
- How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
- What do lawyers wear to work?
- What did the bartender say to the ham sandwich who tried to order a glass of wine?
"Sorry, we don't serve food here."
- What did one tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
- What do you call an alligator detective?
- What does a baby computer call his father?
- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
Because he couldn't see himself doing it!
- What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
- Why did the robber jump in the shower?
Because he wanted a clean getaway!
- What do you get from a pampered cow?
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
- What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I'll go ahead!
- Why did the restaurant hire a pig?
Because he was good at bacon!
- Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it would be a piece of cake!
- What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match!
- Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana!
- How did the duck buy lipstick?
She just put it on her bill!
- What has more lives than a cat?
A frog, because it croaks every day!
- Why should you avoid products with velcro?
Because they're a total rip-off!
- Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted!
- Why was the man hit by a bike every day?
Because he was stuck in a vicious cycle!
- What did the termite say after walking into the bar?
"Is the bar tender here?"
- What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad!
- Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless!
- What did one wall say to the other?
"I'll meet you at the corner."
- Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
- Why did the poor man stock up on yeast?
To make some dough!
- How does the moon cut his hair?
- What do you call a fake spaghetti?
- What happens when you witness an Apple store get robbed?
You become an iWitness!
- Why don't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
- What kind of tree can fit inside your hand?
A palm tree!
- What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
- What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
- How can you identify a dogwood tree?
By its bark!
- How do you organize a space party?
- Why were the fish's grades bad?
Because they were below sea level!
That's it for our list of corny jokes, but be sure to check back with us soon for even more laughs. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next!