30 Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At
Turn that frown upside down—for good.
Once you pass a certain age, your comedic sensibilities are bound to change. (No, we’re not calling it out specifically. You know who you are.) Suddenly, quips that once made you double over are now seen as puerile. Your streaming queue is more likely to include a wry Coen brothers joint than, say, Spaceballs. Maybe it’s an effort to seem more “cultured.” Maybe it’s 100-percent genuine. But one thing’s for sure: it is inevitable.
Still, even in the face of these changing tides, some jokes are just too dang funny to not laugh at, no matter what your age. Don’t believe us? Just read these 30 groaners and try not to, at the very least, crack a smile. And if you’re looking for some more timeless laughs, check out these 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.
Where does the General keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
And for more corny chuckles, check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At.
How does a squid go into battle?
For more hilarious jokes about your favorite sea creatures, check out these 40 Funniest Jokes About Animals.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
And for more awkwardly hilarious jokes, check out these 40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
And for more laughs, check out the 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Good.
A bear walks into a restaurant.
He tells his waiter, “I want a grilled …. cheese.”
The waiter says, “What’s with the pause?”
“Whaddya mean?” the bear replies. “I’m a bear!”
What’s E.T. short for?
Because he’s only got little legs.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.
Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.
One shouts to the other “I need you to help me get to the other side!”
The other guy replies, “You’re on the other side!”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?
Close the door, I’m dressing.
“I stand corrected!”
Said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
I used to be addicted to soap.
But I’m clean now.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for years.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.
They always take things so literally.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish.
The salesman asks him, “Do you want an aquarium?”
The guy responds, “I don’t care what star sign it is!”
What do you call bears with no ears?
What’s a foot long and slippery?
Exaggerations have become an epidemic.
They went up by a million percent last year.
And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* “darn” and a skydiver goes “darn” *whack*.
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they’re not laughing now!
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”
The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter!”
I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin?
You’re looking sharp.
And for more great jokes, don’t miss these 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.
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