Is reality TV scripted? We don’t know. But we do know that they’ve given us some of the best and most hilarious catchphrases in the history of television. Honestly, we don’t care if any of it is as spontaneous as it seems. It’s enough that real people pretending not to notice that they’re being filmed managed to say things intended to be insightful and inspiring but which are, more often than not, just silly and weird. This is the world we live in now, and it’s nothing short of spectacular.
Here are just 30 of our favorite catchphrases from the long and rich history of reality television. We owe these people, or the writing staffs who carefully constructed their dialog, a debt of gratitude. They made our lives a little better, or at least more ridiculous. And if you love reading about the bizarre life of celebs, check out The 50 Craziest Celebrity Quirks.
“I don’t know, dawg, it sounded a little pitchy.” (American Idol)
We’re still pretty sure that Idol host Randy Jackson was making it up as he went along—by “pitchy” wasn’t he really saying “just sing it better?”—but he’ll always be our number one dawg. And for more funny sayings, here are the 25 All-Time Greatest One-Liners by Politicians.
“Welcome to flavortown!” (Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives)
Y’know Guy Fieri, it’s okay just to say “This taste good.” But making up a fictional municipality for decadent food is definitely a way more fun way to go. And for more fun in the kitchen, check out The 30 Most Useless Home Appliances Ever Created.
“G.T.L.” (Jersey Shore)
It’s likely that without this mnemonic device, the boys from Jersey Shore would’ve totally left out something on their “gym, tan, laundry” to-do list. They might have accidentally read a book or had a moment of self-reflection! (Burn.) And speaking of The Jersey Shore, here are 22 Other Things That Have Become Obsolete Since 2000.
“Bloop, bloop, bloop!” (The Real Housewives of Atlanta)
It may sound like a sound effect from an 80s arcade game, but this is actually a classic put-down by NeNe Leakes. “Bloop” is shorthand for “I just told the truth.” Or possibly what happens when Mario hits you with an oversized hammer.
“And that means you’re out. Auf Wiedersehen!” (Project Runway)
There’s nothing wrong with host Heidi Klum slipping into her native German to send a contestant home. But it always made us expect one of the other judges to go full-on Sargent Schultz and start muttering, “I know nuthink!” And if you’re curious what Heidi’s secret is to remaining ageless? Check out the 20 Secrets of Ageless Celebrities.
Photo by Frederick M. Brown Getty Images
“You’ve got too much of a soggy bottom.” (The Great British Bake Off)
Nobody likes a soggy bottom, but they’re enough to send an old British lady who likes sweets into a rage. And for more hilarious sayings from the British, here are the 25 Monty Python One-Liners That Are Still Relevant Today.
“Make it work.” (Project Runway)
There’s something about ’s catchphrase that always makes us laugh. You don’t say “Make it work” when somebody clearly has it figured out. “Make it work” is a kinder way of saying “Just try not to completely screw this up, okay?” And for more fun with language, check out the 100 Slang Terms from the 20th Century No One Uses Anymore.
“Yuuuuup.” (Storage Wars)
We don’t know how Dave Hester made one monosyllabic word feel so rife with meaning and hilarious subtext, but somehow he did it.
“Have several seats.”(Braxton Family Values)
Tamar Braxton’s attempt at public shaming, by taking the “have a seat” condemnation to a ludicrous extreme, never had the gravitas she probably intended. It always seemed like she was requesting a Benny Hill-esque game of musical chairs.
“Can I get an amen up in this bee—–?”(Keeping Up With the Kardashians)
It starts out like church, and then ends like a 4am last call when you realize, “Oh no, I’ve been drinking all night with a Kardashian?”
“Cabs are here!” (Jersey Shore)
Every time Pauly D announced this to his roommates, all we heard was, “Our chariot to public debasement awaits.”
“Your banner must fall.” (America’s Best Dance Crew)
Wait, are they voting out a dance competitor or overthrowing a monarchy?
“Happy, happy, happy.”(Duck Dynasty)
Cause if Papa Phil says it three times, you know it’s true.
“That’s hot!” (The Simple Life)
Paris Hilton’s signature compliment is the quickest way to make anything seem instantly gross. Love Paris? Here’s Paris Hilton Doing a Crazy Good Kim Kardashian Impression—Photos.
“Is that your final answer?” (Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?)
Can you imagine if any game show host but Regis Philbin asked this? It’s incredibly passive aggressive. It basically means, “Seriously? You’re going with that answer? I’m giving you one more chance to not be an idiot.” And since we’re talking about game shows, check out The 30 Funniest Game Show Moments of All Time!
“Sashay away.” (RuPaul’s Drag Race)
Just because RuPaul thinks you’re not worthy, that doesn’t mean he wants you to leave without putting your hips into it.
“You are the weakest link, goodbye!” (The Weakest Link)
It’s a game show send-off that tries to be brutal, but ends up being polite. “You are done here! Also, goodbye, have a lovely trip home!”
“Fix it, Jesus.” (The Real Housewives of Atlanta)
It’s all about the delivery!
“Put them paws on him.” (Love & Hip Hop Atlanta)
We know Lil’ Scrappy was probably trying to compare himself to a tiger or a lion, but for some reason we always think he’s calling himself a kitty. And that’s just awwwwww.
“I’m Gone with the Wind fabulous.” (Real Housewives of Atlanta)
Kenya Moore’s catchphrase works on so many levels it’s not only funny, but it’s also likely the cleverest on this list.
“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous.” (Here Comes Honey Boo Boo)
That quote alone is why Mama June will always be our spirit animal.
“Bible!” (Keeping Up With the Kardashians)
When something is so true, you’d swear to it on a bible like they do in court, but you’re not going to because you’re not technically under oath, and also what you’re saying is probably untrue anyway, that’s when it’s appropriate to shout “bible” like a crazy person.
“Your time is up!” (Flavor of Love)
We want to believe that Flavor Flav ended every relationship by using this catchphrase and handing his ex a gigantic clock. Don’t even bother telling us it didn’t happen!
“Big money, no whammies!” (Press Your Luck)
This line is even funnier out of context, decades after the game show where it originated was cancelled.
“Get off my jock!” (Real Housewives of New York)
It’s hard to explain why we find this favorite comeback by Bethenny Frankel so satisfying. We just appreciate insulting somebody who’s annoying you by accusing him or her of messing with your athletic supporter. It’s so weird and out of left field.
“You are not Canada’s Worst Driver.” (Canada’s Worst Driver)
The only game show elimination catchphrase that’s actually good news.
“I don’t talk to the help.” (Love & Hip Hop Atlanta)
Nobody is as hilariously disrespectful like Joseline Hernandez treating someone like her butler.
“Worth playing for?” (Survivor)
No, Jeff Probst, I just came to this island to get a tan and eat bugs and rice for a month! Of course it’s worth playing for!
“Don’t come for me unless I send for you.” (The Real Housewives of Atlanta)
If we tried throwing shade like Kenya Moore, it would not go nearly as well. And if you want to try throwing some shade, get inspired by The 28 Wittiest Put-Downs Ever Uttered.
“You’re terminated!” (Celebrity Apprentice)
Not only did Arnold Schwarzenegger do his own unique spin on Trump’s “You’re fired!” catchphrase, he gave a little plug to one of his movies. Hey, it could’ve been worse. He could’ve said, “I cannot tell a True Lie. This is your End of Days. Jingle All the Way outta here!”
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