30 Hilarious Tweets Every Retail Worker Can Relate To

Two Words: Christmas Music

30 Hilarious Tweets Every Retail Worker Can Relate To

Two Words: Christmas Music

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The two most common jobs in America are both in retail. There are nearly 8 million salespeople and cashiers in the workforce. Working retail can be a tiring, thankless job. The hours can be long and unforgiving; the pay usually isn’t great, and the music you have to listen to can stick with you for the rest of your life.

If you want to last in retail (or at least make it to the end of the work week), you need to develop a thick skin and a sense of humor. You might also need to vent, and you definitely need to commiserate. If you’ve ever worked retail, you’re part of the ever-growing club that can relate to these tweets. But if you’re in the mood to make someone else laugh, check out 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Your Friends.

1
When You’re Done Working, You’re Done Working

When you aren’t making much money, you don’t give up your time for free. If you want to walk out of your job and never stop walking, check out A Practical Guide to Quitting Your Job and Traveling the World.

2
Embarrassing Workplace Injuries

There are some safety risks in retail that even OSHA couldn’t predict. Speaking of which, people asking if you’re okay is one of the 20 Red Flags That Scream “You’re in the Wrong Job!

3
A Different Kind of Retail Therapy

Sometimes you and your coworkers need to get together and get it all out. If you’re job has you craving therapy, check out the 40 Best Ways to Jumpstart Your Career.

4
Post-Clopen Exhaustion

The dreaded “clopen” (a closing shift followed immediately by an opening shift) is enough to ruin anyone’s day, or possibly several days in a row.

5
Providing Obvious Answers

Some people call retail unskilled labor, but pulling this off without appearing condescending is definitely not something everyone can do.

6
Taking Your Work Outside of Work

You know you’ve worked in retail when you find yourself uncontrollably putting things in rainbow color order while shopping.

7
The Secret Crying Spot

Tired of hiding behind unopened boxes of merchandise to cry? Check out 25 Work From Home Jobs With High Salaries.

8
Crazy Customers

Working retail is a great way to learn all about the different types of people out there. But just in case talking to pants-less strangers isn’t your idea of a good time, check out 20 Genius Ways to Make Work More Fun.

9
Strange Behavior Abounds

Seriously — there are going to be a lot of pants-less strangers.

10
The Same Joke

You know you’re going to hear the same joke approximately 1,000,000 times.

11
Christmas Starts November 1

When you work in retail, Christmas is definitely not the most wonderful time of the year.

12
That One Awful Customer

You don’t actually want to wish death upon somebody, but if something just happens to happen … that’s a different story.

13
Crazy Stuff Happens

When basically anybody can walk into where you work, you’re going to get more than a few oddballs.

14
Redundant Questions

Sometimes you can’t be sure if a customer is testing you or clueless, but it’s best to err on the side of clueless.

15
Trying to Help Everybody

Even if you don’t offer to help a gas station attendant, you’ve probably at least answered the phone like you’re at work.

16
Lunch Break Is a Gift From Heaven

Sometimes the four (if you’re lucky) hours from the beginning of shift to lunch feel like an eternity.

17
Anything Goes

In retail, if you wind up with the wrong kind of manager, pretty much anything goes when it comes to the customer always being right.

18
Attempting the Impossible

The worst part about helping a customer like this is that you can practically see the return happening before they’ve even made a purchase.

19
You’re Always Working

There’s no such thing as downtime in retail, so you have to take any opportunity you can to unwind, as long as you don’t get caught.

20
You Have Inventory Memorized

Knowing exactly how many medium navy ribbed turtlenecks are in stock isn’t the life you want. But it’s the life you’ve got.

21
Yes, We’re Closed

Hope springs eternal for customers who have no idea how time works.

22
When the End of Shift Is in Sight

Whether you’ve lost track of time or can’t leave until they show up, the person working the next shift showing up is always a welcome sight.

23
Impossible Math

One great thing about working in retail is how much patience you develop. One bad thing is how that happens.

24
Reading Comprehension

You also develop an ironclad poker face.

25
It’s a Job That Will Haunt You Forever

You might think your retail days are behind you. But it can haunt you for the rest of your life.

26
Coworker Birthdays

You might love Susan to pieces, but there’s no way you’re chipping in for a company present.

27
The Unforgettable Music

Even if your retail job doesn’t plague your dreams, there’s no guarantee you’ll ever get the music out of your head.

28
Crying at Work

Today you cried in front of a coworker. Tomorrow they’ll probably cry in front of you.

29
It Takes Awhile to Recover

Not everyone can say they worked a job that ruined an entire kind of pants for four years.

30
This Is Your World 40 Hours a Week

Sometimes a day working retail feels less like you spent time in a store and more like you were just in Bikini Bottom for eight hours. And the work laughs don’t stop here. Check out 30 Hilarious Things People Have Put on Their Résumé.

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