The two most common jobs in America are both in retail. There are nearly 8 million salespeople and cashiers in the workforce. Working retail can be a tiring, thankless job. The hours can be long and unforgiving; the pay usually isn’t great, and the music you have to listen to can stick with you for the rest of your life.
If you want to last in retail (or at least make it to the end of the work week), you need to develop a thick skin and a sense of humor. You might also need to vent, and you definitely need to commiserate. If you’ve ever worked retail, you’re part of the ever-growing club that can relate to these tweets. But if you’re in the mood to make someone else laugh, check out 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Your Friends.
When You’re Done Working, You’re Done Working
When you aren’t making much money, you don’t give up your time for free. If you want to walk out of your job and never stop walking, check out A Practical Guide to Quitting Your Job and Traveling the World.
Embarrassing Workplace Injuries
There are some safety risks in retail that even OSHA couldn’t predict. Speaking of which, people asking if you’re okay is one of the 20 Red Flags That Scream “You’re in the Wrong Job!”
A Different Kind of Retail Therapy
The dreaded “clopen” (a closing shift followed immediately by an opening shift) is enough to ruin anyone’s day, or possibly several days in a row.
Providing Obvious Answers
Some people call retail unskilled labor, but pulling this off without appearing condescending is definitely not something everyone can do.
Taking Your Work Outside of Work
You know you’ve worked in retail when you find yourself uncontrollably putting things in rainbow color order while shopping.
The Secret Crying Spot
Working retail is a great way to learn all about the different types of people out there. But just in case talking to pants-less strangers isn’t your idea of a good time, check out 20 Genius Ways to Make Work More Fun.
Strange Behavior Abounds
Seriously — there are going to be a lot of pants-less strangers.
The Same Joke
You know you’re going to hear the same joke approximately 1,000,000 times.
Christmas Starts November 1
When you work in retail, Christmas is definitely not the most wonderful time of the year.
That One Awful Customer
You don’t actually want to wish death upon somebody, but if something just happens to happen … that’s a different story.
Crazy Stuff Happens
When basically anybody can walk into where you work, you’re going to get more than a few oddballs.
Sometimes you can’t be sure if a customer is testing you or clueless, but it’s best to err on the side of clueless.
Trying to Help Everybody
Even if you don’t offer to help a gas station attendant, you’ve probably at least answered the phone like you’re at work.
Lunch Break Is a Gift From Heaven
Sometimes the four (if you’re lucky) hours from the beginning of shift to lunch feel like an eternity.
In retail, if you wind up with the wrong kind of manager, pretty much anything goes when it comes to the customer always being right.
Attempting the Impossible
The worst part about helping a customer like this is that you can practically see the return happening before they’ve even made a purchase.
You’re Always Working
There’s no such thing as downtime in retail, so you have to take any opportunity you can to unwind, as long as you don’t get caught.
You Have Inventory Memorized
Knowing exactly how many medium navy ribbed turtlenecks are in stock isn’t the life you want. But it’s the life you’ve got.
Yes, We’re Closed
Hope springs eternal for customers who have no idea how time works.
When the End of Shift Is in Sight
Whether you’ve lost track of time or can’t leave until they show up, the person working the next shift showing up is always a welcome sight.
One great thing about working in retail is how much patience you develop. One bad thing is how that happens.
You also develop an ironclad poker face.
It’s a Job That Will Haunt You Forever
You might think your retail days are behind you. But it can haunt you for the rest of your life.
You might love Susan to pieces, but there’s no way you’re chipping in for a company present.
The Unforgettable Music
Even if your retail job doesn’t plague your dreams, there’s no guarantee you’ll ever get the music out of your head.
Crying at Work
Today you cried in front of a coworker. Tomorrow they’ll probably cry in front of you.
It Takes Awhile to Recover
Not everyone can say they worked a job that ruined an entire kind of pants for four years.
This Is Your World 40 Hours a Week
Sometimes a day working retail feels less like you spent time in a store and more like you were just in Bikini Bottom for eight hours. And the work laughs don’t stop here. Check out 30 Hilarious Things People Have Put on Their Résumé.
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