102 Seriously Funny Halloween Jokes (And Answers!)
These Halloween jokes are good enough to tickle a skeleton's funny bone.
Some people like to keep Halloween spooky, while others relish the chance to be a little silly. Fortunately, the holiday allows opportunities to be both clever and creative. From costumes to parties, there's a lot of room for thinking outside the box. And if there's anyone out there looking for a laugh, well, you're in for a treat. We've rounded up some funny gags you can share with friends and family this season. From riddles for kids to puns that adults will enjoy, we've sprinkled in a little something for everyone. You can check out our list of the best Halloween jokes below.
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Halloween Jokes for Kids
- What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
- What is a zombie's favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
- What can you expect to find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch.
- How do you mend a jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
- Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
- What's a zombie's favorite snack? Brain food.
- How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? By flipping the lights-witch.
- How do spiders communicate? Through the world wide web.
- Why didn't the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
- How did the werewolf greet his friend? "Howl you doing?"
- Why didn't the scarecrow eat dinner? He was stuffed already.
- Why don't zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.
- Why was all of the food gone at the end of the Halloween party? Everyone was a goblin.
- Who was the best dancer at the Halloween ball? The boogie man.
Funny Ghost Jokes
- Where do ghosts go to trick or treat? A dead end.
- What did the ghost bring his girlfriend? A boo-quet.
- What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
- Why did the police officer ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn't have a haunting license.
- What do ghosts wear on Halloween? Boo-jeans.
- What's a ghost's favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliette.
- What is a baby ghost's favorite game to play on Halloween? Peek-a-boo.
- What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti.
- What is in a ghost's nose? Boo-gers.
- Why was the mute ghost sad on Valentine's Day? He couldn't find a boo.
- Where do ghosts like to go swimming? The Dead Sea.
- Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
- Where do mommies take their baby ghosts? To day-scare.
- What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? "You are so boo-tiful."
- What are a ghost's favorite rides at the fair? The scary go-round and the roller-ghoster.
- Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
- Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Boo-tiques.
Funny Vampire Jokes
- Why do vampires use mouthwash? They have bat breath.
- What do you call a vampire that likes to cook? Count Spatula.
- Why are vampires too easy to fool? Because they're suckers.
- What do vampires use to get around? A blood vessel.
- What's a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
- What's it like to be kissed by a vampire? It's a total pain in the neck.
- Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
- How can you tell when a vampire has stopped by a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
- What did the vampire say to his spouse? "It was love at first bite."
- What is a vampire's favorite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving.
- Why do vampires like reading Best Life? We have great circulation.
Funny Witch Jokes
- What do you call two witches trick or treating together? Broommates.
- Why did the witch look so angry? She has a resting witch face.
- What do witches put on to go trick-or-treating? Mas-scare-a.
- Why is Baba Yaga always late? She lost her witch-watch.
- Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
- How are witches able to stay so positive? Witch-ful thinking.
- What's another word for a witch's garage? A broom closet.
- What do witches request at a hotel? Broom service.
- How does a witch style her hair? With scare spray.
- What's the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
- Why shouldn't an angry witch go trick or treating on her broom? She might fly off the handle.
- What was the witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling.
Funny Skeleton Jokes
- What do you call a skeleton that refuses to clean up after themself? Lazy bones.
- How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle their funny bones.
- Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No-body.
- Why didn't the skeleton go see the scary movie? He didn't have the guts.
- What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
- Why don't skeletons like Halloween candy? They don't have the stomach for it.
- What's a skeleton's favorite song? "Bad to the Bone."
- Who is the world's best skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.
- What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween? The Grim Sleeper.
- What did the skeleton bring to the potluck? Spare ribs.
- Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
- What do skeletons learn about in history class? Napoleon Bone-a-Parte.
- What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? "Bone-Appetit."
- Where do skeletons love binge-watching their favorite shows? On the skele-vision.
Halloween Jokes for Adults
- Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are simply dying to get in.
- Why did the scarecrow stand-up comedian fail? Because all his jokes were corny.
- How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Simple, use a skeleton key to unlock the gates.
- Why do cemeteries contain the best stories? Because they have so many plots.
- What goes around a haunted house and never stops? A fence.
- Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get a-head in life.
- How do you unlock a door on Halloween? With a spoo-key.
- What is a goblin's favorite type of cheese? Monster-ella.
- Why are spirits so lonely? They have no body to love.
- What do you eat at a baseball game on Halloween? A frankenfurter.
- Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Cringy Halloween Dad Jokes
- What do you call a moon out of orbit? A lunatic.
- Why are all mummies workaholics? They're afraid to unwind.
- What do little ghouls and boys study in algebra? Pumpkin pi.
- What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
- What did the happy pumpkin say? "Life is gourd."
- What types of TVs are in haunted houses? Wide scream TVs.
- Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
- What's a teenage ghost's favorite song? "Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun."
- Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
- What did the zombies say to these jokes? "These are so good, they're killing me."
- What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO.
- I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very humerus.
Best Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting all year for Halloween.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry, it's almost Halloween.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad Halloween is already here?
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you ate my candy?
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Eddie! Eddie who? Eddie body home? It's Halloween.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana eat all your candy.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Frankenstein.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open up quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Jacklyn. Jacklyn who? Jacklyn Hyde.
That's a wrap on our list of Halloween jokes, but be sure to check back in with us soon. You can also sign up for our newsletter for similar material. We've got lots more to share for every kind of occasion!