40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Too punny to not be funny.

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Wordplay jokes are often derided as "lowest form of wit." But they're also the favorite form of humor for luminaries like Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, Oscar Wilde, and even Shakespeare. How can an "art" form so groan-worthy be beloved by some many great brains? According to a 2016 study by University of Windsor psychologists, understanding and appreciating a punny wordplay joke requires both hemispheres of your brain, the left and right sides, to work together to decipher a joke's meaning. Reading a wordplay joke — even a really, really dumb one — is like exercise for your brain.

Here are 40 of our favorite wordplay jokes that are maybe a little silly and stupid, but it'll take your entire brain to make sense of them, so maybe show these jokes a little respect. For more bad jokes (that are actually really great), check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At.

1
Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in a vineyard?

Sheep in Vineyard Wordplay Jokes

He'd herd it through the grapevine!

For more kid-approved jokes, check out these 50 Jokes From Children That Are Crazy Funny.

2
I Googled "how to start a wildfire".

Wildfire Wordplay Jokes

I got 48,500 matches!

For more on matches (of the internet variety, that is), check out these 15 Things You Don't Know about Google.

3
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

Cat Wordplay Jokes

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!

And to find out if you're feline fine or not, This is Why You're a Dog or Cat Person.

4
Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?

Scarecrow Wordplay Jokes
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Because he was outstanding in his field!

And for more sidesplitting humor, read up the 40 Best Jokes About Turning 40.

5
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

Boy Sleeping in Class Wordplay Jokes

Everything's fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!

And for more child-borne hooey, 40 Lies Kids Say That Parents Always Fall For.

6
How can you get four suits for a dollar?

Playing Cards Wordplay Jokes
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Buy a deck of cards!

And for more laughs, check out The 50 Most Amazing Jokes From Comedy Legends.

7
I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party.

Leftovers at Party Wordplay Jokes

But my plans were foiled!

And for more groaners, check out the 30 Funniest Jokes in Popular Songs.

8
Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny.

Unemployed Woman Wordplay Jokes

They're just not working!

9
What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it?

Man with Watch Wordplay Jokes

A waist of time!

For wrist wear that isn't a waste, though, peek these 7 Must-Have New Vintage-Inspired Watches.

10
I call toilets "the Jim" instead of "the John."

Toilet with lid up
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So I can tell people, "I visit the Jim several times a day!"

11
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

Teacher Wordplay Games
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One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

And for more hilarity, don't miss the 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.

12
Money doesn't grow on trees, right?

Coins in Jar Wordplay Jokes

So why does every bank have so many branches?

13
My ex-wife still misses me.

Couple Fighting Wordplay Jokes
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But her aim is steadily improving!

For more matrimonial humor, check out The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage.

14
Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.

Woman Picking Out Fruit at Grocery Store Wordplay Jokes
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But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!

15
What does a grape say after it's stepped on?

Grapes Wordplay Jokes
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Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!

For more reasons to love wine, check out these 80 Amazing Health Benefits of Wine.

16
I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig.

Girl Gardening Wordplay Jokes

The poem may not be beautiful, but it's certainly very deep!

17
A horse walks into a bar.

Horse
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The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

18
When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window.

Butterfly Wordplay Jokes
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You'll see a butterfly!

19
What do computers snack on?

Computer Wordplay Jokes

Microchips!

And for actually helpful computer advice, check out The Best Computer Desktop Backgrounds for Maximizing Your Productivity.

20
Somebody stole all my lamps.

Lamp Wordplay Jokes

I couldn't be more delighted!

21
Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and leg?

Broken Left Arm Wordplay Jokes

He's all right now!

22
I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness.

Color Blindness Wordplay Jokes

It came out of the green!

23
Why did the pig leave the party early?


Pig Wordplay Jokes

Because everyone thought he was a boar!

Next, check out The 50 Puns So Bad They're Actually Funny.

24
Three guys walk into a bar.

man with headache Smartest Men Get Ahead

They all said, ouch!

25
I've been having insomnia, so I've started sleeping in our fireplace.

Couple in Front of Fireplace Wordplay Jokes
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Now I sleep like a log!

To sleep like a log in real life, check out these 70 Tips For Your Best Sleep Ever.

26
What did the policeman say to his belly button?

Police officer on a bike

You're under a vest!

27
I once worked in a bank…

Bank Teller Wordplay Jokes

But then I lost interest!

And for more laughs, read The Funniest Joke About Every U.S. State.

28
A friend's dog swallowed a few coins.

Dog Eating Coins Wordplay Jokes

He's keeping his eye on it, but says there's no change yet!

And for some seriously silly pet pampering advice, Here's Why You Should Talk to Your Dog Like It's a Baby.

29
I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched it.

Cat Scratching Wordplay Jokes

So I'm now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!

30
You're becoming a vegetarian?

Woman Eating Steak Wordplay Jokes
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I think that's a big missed steak!

31
Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert?

Teddy Bears Wordplay Jokes

Because they're always stuffed!

32
What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables?

Jumper Cables Wordplay Jokes

"You can stay. Just don't try to start anything!"

33
I'd love to know how the Earth rotates.

Earth Wordplay Jokes

It would totally make my day!

34
What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper?

Winking Dog Wordplay Jokes

Ruff!

35
37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court.

Judge's Mallet Wordplay Jokes
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They will be sentenced next Friday!

36
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

Road Warning Sign Wordplay Jokes

But when I got home, all the signs were there!

And for more silly signs, read the 30 Funniest Jokes On Road Warning Signs.

37
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

Envelope Wordplay Jokes

An envelope!

38
An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns.

Student and Professor Wordplay Jokes

The student answered, "Who, me?"

39
Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop.

Cheese Wordplay Jokes
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Just to shoot the Bries!

40
I read a book about World War II that was only four pages long.

Man Reading Book Wordplay Jokes
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It was Abridged Too Far!

Want more painfully corny jokes? Check out these 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.

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