40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Too punny to not be funny.

40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Too punny to not be funny.

Wordplay jokes are often derided as “lowest form of wit.” But they’re also the favorite form of humor for luminaries like Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, Oscar Wilde, and even Shakespeare. How can an “art” form so groan-worthy be beloved by some many great brains? According to a 2016 study by University of Windsor psychologists, understanding and appreciating a punny wordplay joke requires both hemispheres of your brain, the left and right sides, to work together to decipher a joke’s meaning. Reading a wordplay joke — even a really, really dumb one — is like exercise for your brain.

Here are 40 of our favorite wordplay jokes that are maybe a little silly and stupid, but it’ll take your entire brain to make sense of them, so maybe show these jokes a little respect. For more bad jokes (that are actually really great), check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At.

Sheep in Vineyard Wordplay Jokes

1
Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in a vineyard?

He’d herd it through the grapevine!

For more kid-approved jokes, check out these 50 Jokes From Children That Are Crazy Funny.

Wildfire Wordplay Jokes

2
I Googled “how to start a wildfire”.

I got 48,500 matches!

For more on matches (of the internet variety, that is), check out these 15 Things You Don’t Know about Google.

Cat Wordplay Jokes

3
What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!

And to find out if you’re feline fine or not, This is Why You’re a Dog or Cat Person.

Scarecrow Wordplay Jokes

4
Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

And for more sidesplitting humor, read up the 40 Best Jokes About Turning 40.

Boy Sleeping in Class Wordplay Jokes

5
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!

And for more child-borne hooey, 40 Lies Kids Say That Parents Always Fall For.

Playing Cards Wordplay Jokes

6
How can you get four suits for a dollar?

Buy a deck of cards!

And for more laughs, check out The 50 Most Amazing Jokes From Comedy Legends.

Leftovers at Party Wordplay Jokes

7
I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party.

But my plans were foiled!

And for more groaners, check out the 30 Funniest Jokes in Popular Songs.

Unemployed Woman Wordplay Jokes

8
Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny.

They’re just not working!

Man with Watch Wordplay Jokes

9
What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it?

A waist of time!

For wrist wear that isn’t a waste, though, peek these 7 Must-Have New Vintage-Inspired Watches.

Toilet with lid up

10
I call toilets “the Jim” instead of “the John.”

So I can tell people, “I visit the Jim several times a day!”

Teacher Wordplay Games

11
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”

And for more hilarity, don’t miss the 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.

Coins in Jar Wordplay Jokes

12
Money doesn’t grow on trees, right?

So why does every bank have so many branches?

Couple Fighting Wordplay Jokes

13
My ex-wife still misses me.

But her aim is steadily improving!

For more matrimonial humor, check out The 30 Funniest Things Celebrities Have Said About Marriage.

Woman Picking Out Fruit at Grocery Store Wordplay Jokes

14
Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.

But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!

Grapes Wordplay Jokes

15
What does a grape say after it’s stepped on?

Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!

For more reasons to love wine, check out these 80 Amazing Health Benefits of Wine.

Girl Gardening Wordplay Jokes

16
I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig.

The poem may not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!

Horse

17
A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

Butterfly Wordplay Jokes

18
When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window.

You’ll see a butterfly!

Computer Wordplay Jokes

19
What do computers snack on?

Microchips!

And for actually helpful computer advice, check out The Best Computer Desktop Backgrounds for Maximizing Your Productivity.

Lamp Wordplay Jokes

20
Somebody stole all my lamps.

I couldn’t be more delighted!

Broken Left Arm Wordplay Jokes

21
Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and leg?

He’s all right now!

Color Blindness Wordplay Jokes

22
I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness.

It came out of the green!

Pig Wordplay Jokes

23
Why did the pig leave the party early?

Because everyone thought he was a boar!

Next, check out The 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Funny.

man with headache Smartest Men Get Ahead

24
Three guys walk into a bar.

They all said, ouch!

Couple in Front of Fireplace Wordplay Jokes

25
I’ve been having insomnia, so I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace.

Now I sleep like a log!

To sleep like a log in real life, check out these 70 Tips For Your Best Sleep Ever.

Police officer on a bike

26
What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

Bank Teller Wordplay Jokes

27
I once worked in a bank…

But then I lost interest!

And for more laughs, read The Funniest Joke About Every U.S. State.

Dog Eating Coins Wordplay Jokes

28
A friend’s dog swallowed a few coins.

He’s keeping his eye on it, but says there’s no change yet!

And for some seriously silly pet pampering advice, Here’s Why You Should Talk to Your Dog Like It’s a Baby.

Cat Scratching Wordplay Jokes

29
I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched it.

So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!

Woman Eating Steak Wordplay Jokes

30
You’re becoming a vegetarian?

I think that’s a big missed steak!

Teddy Bears Wordplay Jokes

31
Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert?

Because they’re always stuffed!

Jumper Cables Wordplay Jokes

32
What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables?

“You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!”

Earth Wordplay Jokes

33
I’d love to know how the Earth rotates.

It would totally make my day!

Winking Dog Wordplay Jokes

34
What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper?

Ruff!

Judge's Mallet Wordplay Jokes

35
37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court.

They will be sentenced next Friday!

Road Warning Sign Wordplay Jokes

36
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there!

And for more silly signs, read the 30 Funniest Jokes On Road Warning Signs.

Envelope Wordplay Jokes

37
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope!

Student and Professor Wordplay Jokes

38
An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns.

The student answered, “Who, me?”

Cheese Wordplay Jokes

39
Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop.

Just to shoot the Bries!

Man Reading Book Wordplay Jokes

40
I read a book about World War II that was only four pages long.

It was Abridged Too Far!

Want more painfully corny jokes? Check out these 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.

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