The 30 Funniest Jokes on Road Warning Signs

Highway humor at its very best.

The 30 Funniest Jokes on Road Warning Signs
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Most of the signs you'll encounter when you're out for a drive or stroll are pretty predictable. They'll tell you when to stop or go, and warn you when there are dangers to avoid. But every once in awhile, you'll encounter a sign that seems determined to get a laugh out of you. Either by design or accident, some road signs are just ridiculous. And thank goodness for that, it keeps our attention up where it belongs, on the road. Funny road signs may very well be the best defense against the deadly distraction of texting and driving. You want to save lives? Make our roads more hilarious!

Here are 30 road signs that have us guffawing, even when we're not entirely sure if that was their intention. For more laughs in our everyday lives, don't miss these 30 Hilarious Words for Everyday Problems.

1
Prepare to be annoyed.

men working sign

There's something to be said for some good-ole brutal honesty in this world of ours. No one—we repeat, no one—likes being held up by lane closures on the highway. And for more things we all agree on, here are the Things Everyone Secretly Finds Hilarious. 

2
The before-and-after road birds.

road kill Road Warning Signs

It's completely reasonable to warn drivers about the potential hazards of wildlife crossings. In fact, we're all for it! But it's something else altogether to convey the idea with what looks like a slapstick Wile E. Coyote cartoon. And for more laughs, check out these 30 Hilarious Jokes Found in Non-Comedy Movies.

3
Stop…. in the name of love.

Stop in the name of love Road Warning Signs

We see what you did there, sign. You turned a routine traffic command into a Supremes song. And now the melody will be stuck in our heads all day. At least until we run into a "Stop… Hammertime" sign. And while we're acting all goofy, check out these 40 Facts So Funny They're Hard to Believe. 

4
Buff dude crossing!

buff man running Road Warning Signs

Where is it that you need to be on the lookout for running Arnold Schwarzeneggers?! And if this sign makes you self-conscious of your own body, stop! Here are the 30 Ways to Feel Better About Your Body Instantly. 

5
Steep inclines towards alligator mouths.

gator attack Road Warning Signs

We're almost as terrified as the poor soul in this ridiculous sign.

6
No swearing.

no swearing

Well, we've got to give them credit: This sign can be understood in basically every language. And speaking of language, here are the 30 Common Words You're Using All Wrong. 

7
Please look out for the stupid dogs.

stupid dogs Road Warning Signs

That seems kind of mean. How would you like it if they put out a sign that read, "Look out for our owner, he's an ignoramus?" And for more facts about man's best friend, check out these 20 Amazing Facts You Never Knew About Your Dog.

8
Accidents are prohibited on this road.

Accidents prohibited Road Warning Signs

Thank goodness. So we can just take these seatbelts off then?

9
Volvo Parking only, all others will be crushed.

Volvo parking only Road Warning Signs

We'll take our chances. We just came from the road where accidents are prohibited, so we're feeling pretty untouchable.

10
Please look under your vehicles for penguins.

Please look under for Penguins Road Warning Signs

It's not so much the practical advice that gives us pause—clearly rogue penguins under cars are a hazard at Table Mountain National Park, in South Africa—it's the small graphic on the side depicting what happens if you don't follow their instructions. Yikes!

11
Silly string prohibited.

No Silly String Road Warning Signs

Enough of the silly string, people! And for more public silliness, check out the 30 Most Hilarious Bill Murray Encounters. 

12
Stop here when flashing.

Flashing Road Warning Signs

You know what this sign is really talking about. But it takes you an extra second to get there, mentally.

13
Physically impossible entry.

physically impossible entry Road Warning Signs

It looks like we've got a semantic problem here. Technically, if something is physically impossible to enter, it's not really an entry, is it? Is it possible that what you're talking about is a wall? "This is a wall. No entry, because duh, it's a wall."

14
Be aware of invisibility.

Be aware of invisibility Road Warning Signs

We have plenty of follow-up questions here.

15
This is not a street.

This is not a street Road Warning Signs

We're all kinds of confused.

16
Caution, depression ahead.

Depression Ahead Road Warning Signs

Are you sure? But we were feeling so optimistic today!

17
Don't park on this volcano.

no parking on volcano sign

Phew! Good to know. And for more complete silliness, don't miss the 30 Funniest Movies of All Time.

18
Please drive slowly, our squirrels don't know one nut from another

Squirrels Road Warning Signs

Poor squirrels.

19
Slow church services.

Slow Church Services Road Warning Signs

Really? You'd think if a church service was happening in the middle of the road, they'd be more inclined to speed it up. Tell 'em to skip ahead to communion so we can clear up traffic!

20
Alien abduction.

Alien abduction Road Warning Signs

Is there another crosswalk nearby where I'm less likely to be abducted by aliens?

21
Stop, your GPS is wrong, this is a private driveway.

wrong gps Road Warning Signs

Clearly this residence has had enough of rogue cars rolling up the driveway!

22
Boring Oregon City.

boring Oregon City Road Warning Signs

Hey, c'mon, let's give Oregon City a chance. Maybe they won't be boring this time. Nothing's going to change with that attitude.

23
It's always better to be late, bro.

late Road Warning Signs

That's actually really good advice, but we're just kinda stunned that a street sign called us "bro."

24
Chunky exit.

Chunky Road Warning Signs

When then maybe it's time for exit 121 to hit the gym.

25
Beware of bee.

beware of bee Road Warning Signs

That must be one big bee.

26
Avoid riding one-wheeled bikes.

one wheel bike Road Warning Signs

We're honestly surprised that a one-wheeled bike made it this far in the first place.

27
Proceed to head-on collision.

pedestrian crossing Road Warning Signs

We're going to stick around and see how this plays out. We have a feeling it's not going to be pretty.

28
Drive slow and majestically.

Drive slow Road Warning Signs

If we knew how to drive majestically, you wouldn't need to tell us! We'd be doing it already! And for more about driving, check out how to Rule the Road with These Smart Driving Strategies.

29
No martinis.

no drinking and driving sign

Sorry, Mr. Bond.

30
Bad route road.

bad route road Road Warning Signs

Well, thanks for telling us in advance!

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