85 Hilarious Thanksgiving Jokes You'll Gobble Right Up

Though we all know the topics we're supposed to avoid at the Thanksgiving table, something off-limits conversations will inevitably come up. And if you're looking for a way to break the tension—or make sure the mood never gets there!—we've put together this list of Thanksgiving jokes. Whether you want a good old-fashioned dad joke or something PG for the kids, these hilarious jokes will have the whole table laughing and feeling grateful for your sense of humor.

RELATED: Thanksgiving Facts to Share With Your Family.

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• Thanksgiving Dad Jokes
• Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
• Thanksgiving Jokes for Adults
• Funny Thanksgiving Jokes
• Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes

Thanksgiving Dad Jokes

Best Life

1. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play.
2. What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
3. What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!
4. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost? A poultry-geist!
5. Why can't you take turkeys to church? They use fowl language!
6. What do you call a rude turkey? A jerk-key!
7. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey? One, but you really have to squeeze him in!
8. What’s the best song to play while cooking a turkey? “All About That Baste.”
9. What did pilgrims use to bake cookies? May-flour.
10. Why didn’t the Thanksgiving turkey play in the marching band? Because someone took his drumsticks.
11. Is turkey soup good for you? Not if you're the turkey!
12. Why did the cranberry sauce ask the turkey for advice? Because it was in a jam.
13. If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from? A poul-tree.
14. My family asked me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told them I can’t quit cold turkey.
15. Did you hear about the turkey prom? It was a butterball.
16. What do you call it when it rains turkeys? Fowl weather.
17. What did the mom turkey say to her misbehaving son? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
18. How does a turkey drink wine? From a gobble-let.
19. What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, Google.
20. Why didn’t the cook season the turkey? There wasn’t enough thyme.
21. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
22. What did the turkey dress up as for Halloween? A gobblin'!
23. What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey? A per-key!
24. Why don’t side dishes tell jokes? They’re too corny.
25. What did one pumpkin pie say to the other? “You wanna piece of me?”

Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

Best Life

26. What key won’t open any door? A tur-key.
27. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
28. Why didn’t the Thanksgiving turkey want dessert? Because he was stuffed!
29. How do turkeys sail across the ocean? In a gravy boat.
30. Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
31. What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common? They both have stuffing.
32. Who helped the squash cross the road? The crossing gourd.
33. What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing, wing!
34. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course, buildings can’t jump!
35. What did the little turkey say to the big turkey? Peck on someone your own size!
36. Why did the turkey go to the doctor? It was all stuffed up.
37. What happens when you make cranberries sad? They turn into blueberries.
38. Why did the pumpkin pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
39. What kind of music did the pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock.
40. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter “g.”
41. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin pie? With a pumpkin patch.
42. With a pumpkin patch.
43. Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving? It’s a-maize-ing.
44. Why did the turkey cross the road? Because Thanksgiving was right around the corner.
45. What’s the sleepiest thing at the Thanksgiving table? Nap-kins.
46. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
47. Why did the apple pie cry? Its peelings were hurt!

Thanksgiving Jokes for Adults

Best Life

48. Why did the cranberries turn red? They saw the turkey dressing.
49. Why did the Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants on? Their belt buckles were on their hats.
50. My husband doesn't think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.
51. What happens when potatoes drink too much? They get mashed.
52. What's insulting on a normal day but not on Thanksgiving? Someone flipping the bird.
53. When do you count your blessings on Thanksgiving? As each relative goes home, one by one.
54. What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving? Twerk-ey.
55. What’s the Thanksgiving version of Netflix and chill? Football and nap.
56. What did the man say to his wife in bed on Thanksgiving? Talk turkey to me.
57. How did the investor know Apple’s stock was going to go up? He had in-cider information.
58. What is stuffing's favorite song? “Hit Me, Baby, One More Thyme”
59. What did one turkey say to the other? “Let’s get basted!”

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes

Best Life

60. What did the sweet potato say to the mashed potato? I yam what I yam.
61. What did the shocked pumpkin say to the squash? “Oh my gourd!”
62. What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
63. What should you do if there is a fire during Thanksgiving dinner? Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
64. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
65. Why do turkeys make bad baseball players? They only hit fowl balls.
66. Why couldn’t the cranberry go to the Thanksgiving party? It was bogged down with work.
67. Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield? There are too many ears around.
68. What do turkeys like to do on sunny days? Have peck-nics!
69. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
70. What's a turkey's favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
71. When do you serve rubber turkey? Pranksgiving!
72. Why was there a turkey on Comedy Central? It was there for a roast.
73. What baseball position does the turkey play? First baste.
74. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
75. What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
76. Why is it so easy for mashed potatoes to travel? They take the gravy train.

Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes

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77. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Harry.
    Harry who?
    Harry up, I’m hungry!
78. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Hatch.
    Hatch who?
    Sorry you’ve got a cold on Thanksgiving!
79. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Arthur.
    Arthur who?
    Arthur any leftovers?
80. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Norma Lee.
    Norma Lee who?
    Norma Lee I don’t eat this much!
81. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Anita.
    Anita who?
    Anita a bigger pair of pants after this meal.
82. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Tamara.
    Tamara who?
    Tamara we’ll have Thanksgiving leftovers.
83. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Holly.
    Holly who?
    Holly-days are my favorite time of year!
84. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Justin.
    Justin who?
    Justin time for dessert!
85. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Lettuce.
    Lettuce who?
    Lettuce in, we’re hungry!