40 Funniest Jokes About Animals

Not only is your pet your furriest friend (hopefully), they're also your funniest.

40 Funniest Jokes About Animals
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Are animals funny? Absolutely they are. Koko, the famous sign-language-learning gorilla, is a notorious prankster, once tying her trainer’s shoelaces together and signing “Chase.” And a 2016 study from Northwestern University found that rats will giggle when they’re tickled (as long as they’re in the mood). Maybe that’s why jokes about animals can be so funny. Because it adheres to the comedy rule, it’s funnier if we’re laughing with you and not at all.

Here are 40 of the funniest jokes about animals, both those we love and live with (cats and dogs) and those we’d rather not run into out in the world (lions and grizzly bears). Would they find these jokes as funny as we do? We don’t know, why don’t you ask one of them and find out? If they stare back at you with a blank expression, waiting for you to feed them or scratch their bellies, that probably means yes. For more on your favorite furry friends, check out these 40 Amazing Animal Facts.

Cat Animal Jokes

1
What do cats have for breakfast?

Mice Crispies!

To understand your feline a little better, read up on these 20 Amazing Facts You Never Knew About Your Cat.

Flea on dog hair Animal Jokes

2
What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

“Should we walk home or take a dog?!”

If you’re on the prowl for the perfect pooch, check out How to Buy the Perfect Dog by Cesar Millan.

Buffalo Animal Jokes

3
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

Bison!
Dog Magician Animal Jokes

4
What do you call a dog magician?

A Labracadabrador!

Yes, your dog really is a magician. Check out these 20 Things You Never Knew About Your Dog.

Tiger Animal Jokes


5
What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you?

Big ones!

For more childish humor, get it straight from the source. Here are the 50 Jokes from Children That Are Crazy Funny.

Horse at Vet Animal Jokes


6
A pony went to see the doctor, because it couldn’t speak.  

“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse!”

Looking into hitting the race track? Check out Buying Your First Racehorse: What Winners Know.

Chicken Animal Jokes


7
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?

Lost!

Frog Animal Jokes


8
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!

For more corny jokes, check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At.

Cow Animal Jokes

9
What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

Dog Animal Jokes

10
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?

His bark was much worse than his bite!

If you’ve hired a dog walker to take care of your pal, be sure to check out these 20 Secrets Your Dog Walker Won’t Tell You.

Fish Animal Jokes

11
What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can’t tuna fish!

Bear Animal Jokes

12
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?

A drizzly bear!

Duck Animal Jokes

13
What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?

A box of quackers!

For more simple hilarity, check out these 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.

Frog on Tulip Animal Jokes

14
What’s a frog’s favorite soda?

Croak-a-Cola!

Cow Animal Jokes

15
Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being a-moosed!

Chicken in Forest Animal Jokes

16
What’s the most musical part of a chicken?

The drumstick!

Ant Animal Jokes

17
What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant?

A gi-ant!

Alligator Animal Jokes

18
What do you call an alligator who is a thief?

A crookodile!

Chickens Standing Next to Cow Animal Jokes

19
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?

Roost beef!

Toad Animal Jokes

20
What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad!

Yorkie Dog Animal Jokes

21
What is a dog’s favorite city?

New Yorkie!

For more silliness about pets, check out these 30 Funniest Celebrity Pet Names.

Elephant in Water Animal Jokes

22
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

They kept dropping their trunks!

For more dad-worthy quips, check out these 50 Dad Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Hilarious.

Cow Animal Jokes

23
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake!

Sheep Animal Jokes

24
Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The Baaaa-hamas!

For silly plays on words, don’t miss these 40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up.

Bee Animal Jokes

25
What is more amazing than a talking dog?

A spelling bee!

Pigs Animal Jokes

26
What kind of ties do pigs wear?

Pig sties!

And for more silly quips, check out the 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Hilarious.

Kangaroo Animal Jokes

27
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kanga. Kanga who?

No, Kanga-roo!

For more jokes in this tried-and-true format, don’t miss the 50 Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.

Dog Reading Paper Animal Jokes

28
Dogs can’t read.

Bob: I lost my dog today.

Bill: So put an ad in the paper.

Bob: What good would that do? My dog can’t read!

Even celebrities have hilarious pet moments. Check out these 30 Funniest Celebrity Pet Moments.

Cat Animal Jokes

29
What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?

One is a cat copy; the other is a copycat!

Parrots Animal Jokes

30
What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

Sheepdog Animal Jokes

31
What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

Cat and Mouse Animal Jokes

32
What is a cat’s favorite song?

Three Blind Mice!

To learn what your favorite pet it, brush up on Why You’re a Dog Person or Cat Person.

Seagull Flying Animal Jokes

33
Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Because it’s too far to walk!

Viper Snake Animal Jokes

34
Which kinds of snakes are found on cars?

Windshield vipers!

Sure, you’re not afraid of snakes. We’ll add that lie to our list of the 20 Everyday Things It’s OK to Lie About.

Duck Swimming Animal Jokes

35
What do ducks watch on TV?

Duck-umentaries!

Female Cow Animal Jokes

36
Where did the cow want to go on Friday night?

To the moo-vies!

The secret to a healthy relationship is a good laugh, so stock up with these 30 Best Jokes for Your Partner.

Puppy Sleeping in Hammock Animal Jokes

37
What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?

A rocker spaniel!

And for more pet ridiculousness, see why these 20 Celebrities Look Like Their Pets.

Porcupines Animal Jokes

38
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

“Ouch!”

Elephant Eating Peanuts Animal Jokes

39
Why are elephants never rich?

Because they work for peanuts!

Two Dogs Walking Animal Jokes

40
Why dogs are so anxious

A poodle and a collie are walking down the street when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend’s having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”

“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist,” suggests the collie.

“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch!”

Want more animal humor? Check out these 15 Animals with Impressive Titles.

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