45 Funniest Jokes About Animals
Not only is your pet your furriest friend (hopefully), they're also your funniest.
Are animals funny? Absolutely! Koko, the famous sign-language-learning gorilla, was a notorious prankster, apparently once tying her trainer's shoelaces together and signing "Chase." And then there's the 2016 study out of Northwestern University found that rats will giggle when they're tickled (as long as they're in the mood), signaling that, hey, maybe they have some sense of humor, too. So while animals are often looked at for being cute companions, they can also be downright hilarious. But animals are at their funniest when they're the butt of the joke—which is why we've rounded up the the best animal jokes, of all time, ever.
From silly, domesticated fur balls we live with and love (cats, dogs) to creatures we'd rather admire from afar (lions, wolves), these animal jokes are guaranteed to warrant some uproarious laugher from all kinds. Would the animals find these jokes as funny as we do? We don't know—why don't you ask one of them and find out? (If they stare back at you with a blank expression, waiting for you to feed them or scratch their bellies, that probably means "yes.")
Best funny animal jokes
- What to rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
- What happens to a toad's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
- What do cats have for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
- What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? "Should we walk home or take a dog?!"
- What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison!
- What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador!
- What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An investgator!
- Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.
- What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you? Big ones!
- A pony went to see the doctor, because it couldn't speak. "I know what's wrong," said the doctor. "You're a little horse!"
- What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost!
- What kind of ties do pigs wear? Pig sties!
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
- What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic? His bark was much worse than his bite!
- What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish!
- What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon.
- What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? A drizzly bear!
- What do you get when you put three ducks in a box? A box of quackers!
- What's a frog's favorite soda? Croak-a-Cola!
- Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being a-moosed!
- What's the most musical part of a chicken? The drumstick!
- What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant!
- What do you call an alligator who is a thief? A crookodile!
- What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow? Roost beef!
- What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad!
- What is a dog's favorite city? New Yorkie!
- Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? They kept dropping their trunks!
- What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake!
- Where did the sheep go on vacation? The Baaaa-hamas!
- What is more amazing than a talking dog? A spelling bee!
- What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? No, Kanga-roo!
- I lost my dog today, So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read!
- What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you? One is a cat copy; the other is a copycat!
- What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? Polly unsaturated!
- What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
- What is a cat's favorite song? Three Blind Mice!
- Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it's too far to walk!
- Which kinds of snakes are found on cars? Windshield vipers!
- What do ducks watch on TV? Duck-umentaries!
- Where did the cow want to go on Friday night? To the moo-vies!
- What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog? A rocker spaniel!
- What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? "Ouch!"
- Why are elephants never rich? Because they work for peanuts!
- What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? Shear madness.
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