40 Funniest Jokes About Animals
Not only is your pet your furriest friend (hopefully), they're also your funniest.
Are animals funny? Absolutely they are. Koko, the famous sign-language-learning gorilla, is a notorious prankster, once tying her trainer’s shoelaces together and signing “Chase.” And a 2016 study from Northwestern University found that rats will giggle when they’re tickled (as long as they’re in the mood). Maybe that’s why jokes about animals can be so funny. Because it adheres to the comedy rule, it’s funnier if we’re laughing with you and not at all.
Here are 40 of the funniest jokes about animals, both those we love and live with (cats and dogs) and those we’d rather not run into out in the world (lions and grizzly bears). Would they find these jokes as funny as we do? We don’t know, why don’t you ask one of them and find out? If they stare back at you with a blank expression, waiting for you to feed them or scratch their bellies, that probably means yes. For more on your favorite furry friends, check out these 40 Amazing Animal Facts.
What do cats have for breakfast?
To understand your feline a little better, read up on these 20 Amazing Facts You Never Knew About Your Cat.
What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?
“Should we walk home or take a dog?!”
If you’re on the prowl for the perfect pooch, check out How to Buy the Perfect Dog by Cesar Millan.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
What do you call a dog magician?
Yes, your dog really is a magician. Check out these 20 Things You Never Knew About Your Dog.
What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you?
For more childish humor, get it straight from the source. Here are the 50 Jokes from Children That Are Crazy Funny.
A pony went to see the doctor, because it couldn’t speak.
“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse!”
Looking into hitting the race track? Check out Buying Your First Racehorse: What Winners Know.
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!
For more corny jokes, check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite!
If you’ve hired a dog walker to take care of your pal, be sure to check out these 20 Secrets Your Dog Walker Won’t Tell You.
What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish!
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A box of quackers!
For more simple hilarity, check out these 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.
What’s a frog’s favorite soda?
Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being a-moosed!
What’s the most musical part of a chicken?
What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant?
What do you call an alligator who is a thief?
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
What is a dog’s favorite city?
For more silliness about pets, check out these 30 Funniest Celebrity Pet Names.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
They kept dropping their trunks!
For more dad-worthy quips, check out these 50 Dad Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Hilarious.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
Where did the sheep go on vacation?
For silly plays on words, don’t miss these 40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up.
What is more amazing than a talking dog?
A spelling bee!
What kind of ties do pigs wear?
And for more silly quips, check out the 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Hilarious.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kanga. Kanga who?
For more jokes in this tried-and-true format, don’t miss the 50 Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.
Dogs can’t read.
Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can’t read!
Even celebrities have hilarious pet moments. Check out these 30 Funniest Celebrity Pet Moments.
What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
One is a cat copy; the other is a copycat!
What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?
What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
What is a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice!
To learn what your favorite pet it, brush up on Why You’re a Dog Person or Cat Person.
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!
Which kinds of snakes are found on cars?
Sure, you’re not afraid of snakes. We’ll add that lie to our list of the 20 Everyday Things It’s OK to Lie About.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Where did the cow want to go on Friday night?
To the moo-vies!
The secret to a healthy relationship is a good laugh, so stock up with these 30 Best Jokes for Your Partner.
What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A rocker spaniel!
And for more pet ridiculousness, see why these 20 Celebrities Look Like Their Pets.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Why are elephants never rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Why dogs are so anxious
A poodle and a collie are walking down the street when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend’s having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist,” suggests the collie.
“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch!”
Want more animal humor? Check out these 15 Animals with Impressive Titles.
To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter!