17 Funny Pet Stories That Will Brighten Your Day
Only your furry friends can make you laugh this hard.
We love our pets for a whole bunch of reasons. They give us cuddles. They’re adorable. They keep us active. But perhaps most importantly, they’re the world’s best comedians. To help put a smile on your face today, we’ve uncovered the funniest pet stories out there, from a “coughing” snake, to a cat who accidentally got stuck in a pile of tape. And for more amazingly adorable pet tales, check out The 30 Most Adorable Animal Stories of 2018.
A Renovation Catastrophe
Cats love to wriggle their bodies into all sorts of unfathomable places. And for one Reddit user, that meant an air duct. “We were in the middle of remodeling our house and went out of town for the weekend. We got back and couldn’t find the cat. I realized I had left a ladder leaned against a wall right below an air duct and saw claw marks around the open duct,” he wrote.
“I instantly assumed I would be fishing a dead cat out of the wall and succumbed to my fail by slumping down against it, trying to figure out how to explain to my wife and three-year-old that I stupidly led our beloved cat to his doom. About that time, he pokes his head out of the duct and meows at me, wanting me to help him out.”
Caught Red Pawed
You can’t blame a dog for trying—and certainly not when they sound super cute. “My significant other and I had been trying to teach our dog to make less of a mess in our house—specifically, to not pull toilet paper off the roll,” wrote Reddit user ringofstones. “We weren’t sure we’d been making any headway until one day we came home to find that while we’d been out, about two feet of toilet paper had been unrolled…and then somehow rolled back up sloppily. All I can imagine is her playing with it happily, hearing us at the door, thinking, ‘Oh, crap!’ and trying to fix her mess. It was actually pretty impressive.”
Just Kitten Around
Kittens and puppies are playful—it’s just in their nature. And apparently, so is playing pranks on their siblings. “My biggest female cat (nine to 10 pounds) likes to sit on the side of the full bathtub inside the shower curtain,” wrote Reddit user loner_in_az.
“My littlest tiny female cat (four pounds) runs from across the house, slides around the corner into the bathroom, shoves the big female into the tub through the shower curtain and takes off like a shot back to the other side of the house. She never knew what hit her.”
Walking On Water
“I had a dog that liked to lick the built-up ice in the freezer every time we opened the door,” Reddit user Pondglow wrote. “Got his tongue stuck regularly. Always went back for more.” But that’s not even the hilarious part.
“The first time we took him to a lake, he got so excited that he just ran in without knowing what it was. ‘Oh, water!’ Okay, not phased. Keeps running toward the middle. We thought he’d start to swim. Or at least float. Still, don’t understand how he didn’t. But he ran along the bottom of that lake and just disappeared under the water. … My dad had to go in and carry him out.”
Silence Of The Snake
When you have a pet and you hear a scary noise at night, you assume it’s just them. Unfortunately, Reddit user Sunshinenorcas missed the memo on that. “[One night], I watched Silence of the Lambs with a friend and sent him off, then turned out all my lights, and went to bed in the dark,” the Redditor wrote.
“So I’m in bed, in the dark, alone in my room…and I hear a cough. I laid in my bed wondering what the noise was and if there was a serial killer in my room. I’d just about written it off as my imagination going nuts. And then I heard the cough again. And that was when I sat up and threw my light on. And it definitely wasn’t a serial killer. It was my ball python trying to fit into her hide that could no longer accommodate her wider girth. The ‘coughing’ was her scooting it around, trying to fit all of herself in it.”
A Sticky Situation
Ever buy your pet an expensive toy and they still choose to play with a paper bag instead? That’s what happened with Reddit user etaoin0shrdlu’s cat, but with tape. “My cat once discovered a roll of fly tape in a kitchen cabinet. Not sure how he managed it, but we walked in the door to find he had effectively hog-tied himself in the middle of the floor. A big fat cat with long gray fur sticking out in giant tufts between the strips of tacky, gooey tape he’d managed to wind all over himself, crimping his tail in two places,” the Redditor wrote.
“We felt horrible for laughing, but it was such a ridiculous scene that we were still cracking up even while cutting the tape away and checking to make sure his tail wasn’t broken. (He was a little traumatized and temporarily looked like a case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with many random bald spots, but otherwise perfectly fine).”
“When I was younger, we had a chihuahua that weighed four pounds soaking wet. One day the family was sitting in the living room watching a movie,” recounted Reddit user firexcracker. “Sister flung open the recliner, the dog just happened to be walking past it, and the dog went flying across the room like a cannonball. It was like something out of a cartoon that I’ll never forget.”
Falling For You
Usually, when a cat injures itself doing something once, it’ll self-correct and never do that thing again. But that wasn’t the case for Reddit user Asharet’s childhood cat. “I had a farm cat when I was a teenager that loved to climb up and sit on the roof. Problem was, he had the habit of rolling over for a tummy rub whenever he saw a person. So it was a distressingly common occurrence to walk near the house and have him roll right off the roof. You’d think after the first three times he’d have learned, but no. He lived a long life despite himself.”
Oh Snow You Didn’t
Here’s another cat who didn’t learn from her mistakes.”One day, after we had gotten seven or eight inches of snow, my cat decided to be a brave adventurer and dash out of the door,” explained Reddit user DontTrustmyResearch. “She knows she absolutely hates snow, but always does this. … She runs out, jumps into the snow, and disappears. I’m sitting there letting her learn her lesson. I hear a muffled meow-scream as she very, very slowly lifts her head up above the snow. Her mouth stays wide open … and [she] continues to stare at me doing this meow until I came and picked her up.”
The kitty’s owner wrote that she did the same exact thing again an hour later. Too good.
A Very Punctual Puppy
When Reddit user opkc changed her afternoon routine once, her dog was not having it. “My dog, Libby, rides with me to pick up my kids from school, and she knows exactly what time we leave. The kids had an after-school activity so I needed to pick them up an hour later than usual. When we didn’t leave at the normal time, she started whining at me. Then barking. Then she swatted my shoe with her paw, hard, so it flew through the air and hit me. She threw my shoe at me!” Libby sounds like a Real Dogwife of New Jersey.
Egg On Your Face
While some cats like to play with stuffed mice, catnip, and jingle balls, Reddit user xenothaulus’s cat likes Easter eggs. “My cat likes to play with plastic Easter eggs. She picks a half up in her mouth, and trots around with it, yowling all the while, with the egg functioning as an amplifier. One year we got the kids these big eggs … and eventually, she found one and tried to play with it the same way.”
Sadly for this cat, it didn’t work out. “When she picked it up, it flipped up over face and covered her eyes. She panicked and started running around, clanging into the baseboard heaters and whatever else. It was hysterical! She finally dropped it and stood there dazed. And [then she] picked up the egg and did it again. And again. And again.” When will they learn?
Collision Of Cuteness
For Spike and Charlie, even a simple walk outside can be challenging, according to their owner, Reddit user account1943. “We got two Golden Retriever puppies from the same litter (Spike and Charlie). As they were growing up, we got one of those leashes that allow you to walk two dogs on the same chain,” their owner wrote. “[Cut to them getting] away from me and running full speed away when they both went on opposite sides of a tree. I felt bad for them, but it was so funny seeing them all of a sudden whip around and collide with each other.”
Green With Envy
Curiosity got the best of Reddit user ennmac’s cat—and he wound up covered in paint, as a result. “One time, I was doing a photoshoot and was covered in green body paint,” they wrote. “My cat was watching me wash it off in the bathtub, then got too curious and too close and fell in the tub, which, at that point, was full of watery green paint. He flipped out, got himself completely soaked and dyed a very vibrant green, and I had to call the vet to see how important it was for me to try to wash him off.”
A Mistake You Can’t Erase
We all talk to our pets sometimes. But while we assume they listen, at least dogs and cats can’t say anything back. That’s not the case with a parakeet though. “I had a parakeet when I was growing up,” wrote Reddit user Jabberhakke. “My mom played the piano a lot and often made this one specific mistake in a song she frequently played, and as soon as she made the mistake, she’d go back a measure or two and correct it. The parakeet eventually learned to whistle that melody—but he would whistle it with the mistake/correction she usually made.”
Can’t Handle It
Litter boxes aren’t as intuitive as they may seem. “My roommate has a cat that can’t poop in the litter box. The cat just sits next to the box … and poops all over the floor,” Reddit user Free-k wrote. “To solve the problem … my roommate got this litter box with a cat flap. Cat doesn’t realize he is supposed to go inside, but instead hops onto the box and poops. Thing is, the poop scoop was on the litter box and the cat completely poops all over the handle. Still not sure if this was a stupid or brilliant pet move.”
Stick The Landing
Perhaps more than any other animal, cats are incredibly confident in their athletic abilities—sometimes, to a fault. Exhibit A: Sherman. “I have a 20-pound black Persian cat named Sherman,” wrote Reddit user Extrasherman. “He comes into the room and I can tell he wants to jump up onto the window sill to look outside. I’m sitting on the couch which is against the wall and perpendicular to the window.
“Now he could have easily jumped up to the sill from the floor, but in his lazy little mind, he decided to jump up on the couch and then the window. The only problem is that I’m sitting on the couch and in his line of trajectory. … In his attempt to jump over my lap, he misses his footing, manages to scratch my leg, and ends up face-planting right into the wall.”
One Hail Of A Dog
Most dogs would do absolutely anything to avoid the hail, but not Reddit user choirboy17‘s pup. “The first month I had my dog, Howie, we had a pretty bad hail storm,” Howie’s owner wrote.
“As soon as it started, I went outside to call him in. … He ran around for the entirety of the hail storm trying to dodge the hail, not listening to my command to come inside. He just ran around for 10 minutes and yelped every now and again when a hailstone caught him the right way. Even after it was over, he wouldn’t come inside. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.” And for more hilarious pet antics caught on camera, check out these 30 Funny Photos of Animals That Will Brighten Your Day.
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