55 Funniest Jokes So Silly They're Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day
Laughter really is the best medicine.
Jokes come in all shapes and sizes. There are intellectual jokes. There are dad jokes. And, if you're into them, there are cat jokes. But above all, there are silly jokes. You know the ones: A friend asks you a nonsensical question (perhaps, "Why did the man fall in the well?"). You say, "I don't know." And they hit you with the punchline ("Because he didn't see that well," in this case). And then you both laugh hysterically. Because let's face it, no matter how bad the joke was, it was also funny. And you know what? It definitely brightened your day. Herein, we've rounded up the 50 funniest jokes that are so silly they're practically sunshine.
1
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye matey!
2
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
3
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!
4
What did Delaware?
A New Jersey!
5
Did you hear about that new broom?
It's sweeping the nation!
6
Is it inappropriate to tell a "dad joke" if you're not a dad?
Yes, it's a faux pa!
7
My new thesaurus is horrible!
Not only that, but it's horrible!
8
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador!
9
What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
10
What's the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
Live stream!
11
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor!
12
What happened when the grape crossed the road?
There was a traffic jam!
13
Why did the pig go in the kitchen?
He felt like bacon!
14
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!
15
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back!
16
What's smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!
17
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk!
18
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
19
What do you call a computer that sings?
A-Dell!
20
What's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty p.m.!
21
What can't you run through a campground?
You can only ran, because it's past tents!
22
How do you throw a space party?
You planet!
23
Where do hamburgers go dancing?
The meat-ball!
24
What did the duck say to the bartender?
Put it on my bill!
25
Did you hear about corduroy pillows?
They're making head lines!
26
What happened to the frog that parked in the no-standing zone?
He got toad!
27
What are bald sea captains most worried about?
Cap sizes!
29
What did one plate say to the other?
Lunch is on me!
30
Where do you learn how to make banana splits?
At sundae school!
31
Why did the belt get arrested?
He held up a pair of pants!
32
What do you call a ghost's mother and father?
Transparents!
33
What kind of shoes do spies wear?
Sneak-ers!
34
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
35
What can you serve but never eat?
A volleyball!
36
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish!
37
What can you find at very small beaches?
Microwaves!
38
Did you hear about the angry pancake?
He just flipped!
39
How do you talk to a fish?
You drop him a line!
40
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
The teacher woke him up!
41
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Get it?
42
Did you hear about the potato detective?
He got to the root of every case!
43
What types of clothes does a house wear?
Address!
44
If you're an American when you go into a bathroom and an American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European!
45
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"Supplies!"
46
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
47
Why didn't the bike want to stand?
Because he was too tired!
48
What types of magazines do cows read?
Cattlelogs!
49
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He Neverlands.
50
Why did the mouse fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
51
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.
52
Why do bees have sticky hair?
They only use honeycombs!
53
Why did the cookie cry?
Because he was a wafer so long!
54
What did the mother lion say to her cub before dinner?
"Shall we prey?"
55
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
And for more side-splitting yuks, don't miss these 60 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up!
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