Not all lawn decorations are created equal. While adorable bird feeders and whimsical wind chimes can turn any outdoor space into a serene oasis, life-sized dinosaurs and zombie gnome lights will probably have the opposite effect. We've rounded up some of the ugliest lawn decorations we could find that will leave you with many questions and lots of laughs. So click on, and be thankful these aren't yours!
1 | This naughty gnome with a plumber's crack
You'd be hard-pressed to find a gardener or lawn guru who could successfully incorporate any sort of gnome into a design without it looking tacky. But a gnome wearing pants is at least a step up from this lewd little guy.
2 | This surly tree-hugging Bigfoot
If you're looking for a slightly more subtle—and also harrier—version of a "Keep Out" sign, then look no further than this tree-hugging Bigfoot. The fact that it creepily stares down strangers while peeking from behind a tree only adds to its... umm... uniqueness, we guess?
3 | A chubby David
Michelangelo's David is a timeless work of art that needs no additions or alterations. And yet, one of Wayfair's most popular garden accessories is a plus-size parody of the statue made to look like it's eaten one too many bowls of spaghetti. Funny? Maybe. Ugly? Definitely.
4 | A tiki totem for Tiki Barber
There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your passion for your favorite football team. There is, however, something wrong with expressing your enthusiasm via ugly lawn decorations like this tiki totem with an angry football block and screaming moose Statue of Liberty in the middle of it.
5 | A life-size dinosaur
Just because you enjoy Jurassic Park or the occasional trip to the Museum of Natural History doesn't mean you should dole out an outrageous $2,000 on a five-foot statue of a velociraptor for your yard. Unless, of course, your intention is to "terrify the small children in the neighborhood as well as send that pesky roaming dog running for home with his tail between his legs," as one review reads.
6 | This creepy peeping neighbor
Unless you want the neighbors to think that you're stalking them, we'd advise against putting a "Peekin' Pete" up in your backyard. (Please.)
7 | This terrifying Humpty Dumpty
All we can do now is hope that this Humpty Dupty takes a great fall and can't be put together again.
8 | This gargoyle digging for buried treasure
Even if it wasn't picking its nose, this gremlin-like gargoyle is more creepy than cute. The only thing this statue would or could add to your outdoor aesthetic is a whole lot of confusion.
9 | This statue of Bigfoot carrying gnomes
Say what you will about this Bigfoot-and-friends garden statue, but at least it's unique. This opulent decoration will certainly serve as a conversation starter when the neighbors come to say hello. And if you know someone who would find ugly lawn decoration funny, then they'd probably also love these 17 Hilarious Prank Gifts.
10 | A flamingo zombie
Pink flamingo yard ornaments are truly terrible—and yet somehow, these zombie flamingos make those pink ones look like they should be in the Gardens of Versailles. Even if it's Halloween, you can do better than this.
11 | This "so sad" rock statue
Even the description for this chilling concrete rock statue is depressing: "From his bloodshot eyes to his smile, he is so sad." The only outdoor space this blue rock belongs in is a graveyard. RIP.
12 | This pot with half a face
This planter had potential. It really did! That potential went out the window, though, when whoever designed it decided to add not even half of a nose, but just the tip to this bizarre statue.
13 | This gnome riding a unicorn
Unicorns and garden gnomes might not be real, but this magical adventure figurine unfortunately is.
14 | A giant inflatable birthday cake
This blow-up birthday cake might've been acceptable when celebrating your 4th or 5th birthday, but at this point in your life, it's just plain ugly. Not to mention, the proportions are way off. How could you even use candles as big as your cake? If you're in search of birthday gifts your spouse would actually want, then check out these 30 Amazing Birthday Gifts for the Impossible-to-Shop-for Husband.
15 | This statue of a merboy riding a fish
Even the animals in your pond won't be able to hold back their laughter should you decide to adorn your aquatic area with this statue of a merchild riding a fish. Based on typical depictions of mermaids, it's not even anatomically correct. How could his tail split? HOW?!
16 | This creepy little girl
If you do decide to buy this creepy child statue for your backyard, at least put it somewhere where passersby can't easily see it. Otherwise, you can expect at least one call a day from concerned neighbors and perhaps even the police.
17 | A giant alien statue
There's nothing wrong with having an interest in all things extraterrestrial. (Star Wars is one of the highest grossing movies of all time, after all.) You might, however, want to avoid showcasing your affinity for aliens in your yard, seeing as a giant alien statue will definitely scare some of the neighborhood children and canines.
18 | This zombie dog
This poor dog looks like he hasn't experienced human affection or eaten a meal in years. Even if he is supposed to be undead, this zombie dog statue is straight up distressing!
19 | This zombie coming back from the dead
This statue of a zombie crawling out of the ground would fit in well in a graveyard, at a haunted house, or even on the set of The Walking Dead. Where it won't fit in is in your yard, surrounded by colorful, growing plants and the peaceful sounds of birds chirping.
20 | A giant (maybe dead?) koi fish
Koi vey. You could maybe get away with putting a smaller version of this sea life statue near a pond or other body of water, but in the middle of your lawn? It looks, quite literally, like a fish out of water. And there's a reason those don't survive.
21 | A "disheartened gargoyle" planter
This gargoyle planter has definitely seen some things he'd rather not recall. As have you now.
22 | This tree-hugging cow
Cows are wonderful animals. They love giving kisses, getting pets, and lounging around; basically, they're just giant dogs. If you put a cow statue in your outdoor decor, the entire set-up will have a playful and friendly vibe for sure. But when you're choosing which cow statue to purchase, perhaps opt for one that's... not hugging a tree. You might think it's cute, but it really just looks utterly—or should we say udderly—bizarre. And if you love all living creatures, then you'll love these 33 Times Animals Made Our Day in 2018.
24 | This statue of a little girl jumping over... the Exorcist
HOW IS THAT LITTLE BOY'S HEAD TWISTING LIKE THAT?
25 | A giant horse
For $1,155—and that's on sale—you could have this statue. Or you could probably buy a real horse. At least the living animal would actually move when you mounted it!
26 | A toilet planter
This DIY is more of a D-I-WHYYYY?!
27 | This deer mailbox
Question: Why would someone pay $280 to have their mailbox look like deer? Follow-up question: Where does the mail go?
28 | This giant-eyed frog
Sorry to whichever artist handcrafted this clay frog, but everything about it is just spooky. The eyes are too big, the skin is too scaly, and the warts are triggering my trypophobia.
29 | This humongous snail statue
A snail statue would actually work well in a garden atmosphere, seeing as the slow, slimy creatures love to munch on plants. However, that isn't to say that your garden needs a 21-pound, 18-inch-high snail statue. That might be overdoing it.
30 | This digging dog décor
When there is a dog digging through their garden, most people tend to react with anger and frustration. Not only does the digging disrupt the growth of the vegetation, but it also makes the entire landscape look dirty. So why on earth would you want a statue of such a thing?
31 | A zombie gnome light
There is way too much happening with this zombie gnome path light, and none of it is good.
33 | This incredibly buff, but also coy gargoyle
Though I definitely don't want this gargoyle in my yard, I would absolutely hire him to train me at the gym.
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