When men talk about what, outside of personality, they find super attractive about a certain woman, the list usually involves a lot of body parts. But when women describe what they find attractive about a man, it often comes down to body language; they way he walks, the way he holds a glass, and even the way he buttons his shirt can be huge, inexplicable turn-ons. Not that a girl can’t appreciate a nice set of guns, of course, or a tall frame, but more often than not, it’s little gestures that can drive a woman wild. And what’s funny about it is that the guy doesn’t even realize he’s doing something that’s a turn-on, because that’s just how how he is naturally (which, of course, is part of what makes it so hot).
Herein, allow us to present a brief list of some of those organic movements that women have revealed to be huge turn-ons. And for some advice on how to not immediately throw that new attraction out the window by saying the wrong thing, check out The 17 Worst Things a Man Can Say to a Woman.
Steering the wheel with just two fingers
When you’re in the car with a man, this exudes an air of complete control. It’s like the man’s body is saying, “I don’t even have to use my whole hand. I got this.” And for more ways to up your game, learn The Single Best Way to Boost Your Attractiveness.
Driving with an elbow out an open window
Letting the entire lower arm hang out is dangerous and implies an almost sloppy carelessness. Leaning your elbow against the open window and steering the wheel with just one hand, however, exudes control and total ease. For places to drive one-handed, check out the 40 Roads Everyone Needs to Drive By Age 40.
Placing a hand on the small of a woman’s back, guiding her to her seat
Body language experts will say that, when a man puts his hand on your upper back, it can be a friendly gesture, but a hand on the lower back always implies desire. In addition to being a subtle mark of attraction, it’s also quite chivalrous, as you are at once leading her while also letting her go first. (It goes without saying that this is a move that can only be done with a woman you’re dating, not, say, a colleague at a work dinner.) For more ways to boost your chivalry, check out the 50 Ways to Be (Much) More Romantic.
Placing a hand just above her knee at the bar
Again, it cannot be overstated that this is a great move only when you know the woman is into you. And, even then, if, for whatever reason, she takes your hand off, or tenses up, abort immediately. A lot of what makes a man attractive is the ability to read a woman’s body language and make sure she feels at ease. And for more on PDA, learn Why Scientists Say Holding Hands Is Amazing For You.
Extending an arm against the back of her chair
This is particularly nice when you’re in a restaurant together, or at a family function, as it sends a subtle signal to everyone that she’s your girl and you’re proud of it. And for more ways to comport yourself in a highfalutin establishment, learn the 25 Things You Should Always Do In A Fancy Restaurant.
Wrapping an arm around her waist
This is a really nice protective gesture, especially when you’re walking through a dodgy area, but it’s somehow especially exciting when the man does it if he’s on a phone call, to remind his girl that just because he’s talking to someone else doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about her presence.
Taking a shirt off by pulling it over the head with just a thumb and forefinger
There’s no logical reason for why this is somehow more attractive then grabbing the shirt by the ends and pulling it off with both hands, but there it is.
Drinking a beer bottle with just two fingers
Like the elbow on the car window, this gives off an air of ease.
Taking a wallet out of the front pants pocket
In theory, this should not be more attractive than taking your wallet out of your coat pocket, which in many ways is the more civilized move, but for some reason that lean back and hand slide into a pair of jeans is irresistible.
Rolling a buttoned-up shirt to the elbows
In a massive reddit thread on things men do they don’t even realize are attractive, this got top spot. For some reason, this is way more of a turn on with a buttoned-up shirt than, say a sweater, perhaps because it sort of says, “Yes, I’m a professional man with his life together, but I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty when need be.” And for more style tips, learn the 40 Ways to Dress Well In Your 40s.
The “soft eyes” gaze
So much of what men are told is attractive revolves around being “dominant” and “assertive.” And while those can be, indeed, good qualities, one of the most upvoted responses on the aforementioned reddit thread was that feeling a woman has when she’s reading or putting on makeup and she looks up to find her man looking at her with eyes that suddenly resemble tiny pools of water. As one user put it, “‘I’ll catch my boyfriend looking at me with that softer look, and I’ll say, teasingly, ‘You’re staring!’ and he’ll say, ‘Gazing!’ and look away. The next minute I see him looking at me like that again, and every time, it makes my heart squeeze.”
Wearing a nice sweater
This seems counterintuitive, but a lot of women describe seeing a muscular man in a sweater that is at once fitted and snuggly the same way men describe seeing Emily Ratajkowski in a bathing suit. Perhaps women have been inculcated into thinking this is attractive by the Victoria’s Secret winter catalogues, or perhaps it’s just a turn-on because it’s cuddly and protective.
Stretching while standing
When a man stretches and his shirt rises so that the V-shape of his pelvis is just slightly visible, it’s even better than being fully shirtless.
The difference between being “chivalrous” and “patronizing” is all in the tone and body language. If you do something for a woman in a condescending way, that’s not attractive. But when you do it just to be nice, it is. A few examples of chivalrous gestures that women tend to approve of are offering your coat if she seems cold or giving up your seat on the train (don’t push it if she says no; remember, the chivalry is in the offer). On several threads, many women noted that there’s something charming and intimate about a man sliding your coat on and brushing your hair out of the way before you venture out into the cold. Don’t go overboard with full on Prince Charming moves like kissing her hand. Remember: being a modern gentleman is about making her feel good, not about making yourself look awesome.
This is kind of a broad category but some examples on various threads were: a. holding puppies b. kissing your girlfriend on the forehead, especially to check for signs of a cold, c. helping the elderly, and d. being willing to take care of others and help out when needed. Even just watching a guy get down on one knee and patiently explain something complicated to a child can send shivers through a woman. It’s all primal anyway. To increase your own paternal qualities, learn the 20 Best Ways to Be A (Much) Better Dad.
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