32 Things Men Do That Women Always Find Sexy
Relationship experts share all the big and small things guys do that girls love.
When women describe what they find sexy about a man, it often comes down to physical appearance—his build, his height, his hair. But there's so much more that goes into attraction, such as body language and subtle personality indicators. That's why we consulted relationship experts to find out all the things guys do that girls love. Keep reading to find out what they say will make a big impression on women, from the scent of a man's cologne to his communication skills.
32 Things Guys Do That Girls Love
1. Show off your hands
"Strong, vascular hands is the secret women's achilleas that nobody told you about," shares Samantha of Best Kept Secret, noting that a man's hands are a symbol of strength.
"They make women's minds … fantasize about these strong hands holding and caressing her," she adds.
2. Wear black
If you thought wearing black was boring, think again. This color represents "power and authority," Ashley Grader, a beauty expert who manages a beauty school directory website, previously told Best Life.
"Wearing black may subconsciously give the impression to others that you are someone who is strong and in charge," she said. "And people who are in positions of power and authority are often considered to be more attractive."
3. Or wear red
Unsurprisingly, another well-known power color is proven to make men look sexier.
A 2010 study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General found that "women perceive men to be more attractive and sexually desirable when seen on a red background and in red clothing."
"Red is the color of love and desire, known to evoke feelings of attraction and arousal," Laura Wasser, relationship expert and chief of divorce evolution at Divorce.com, previously explained to Best Life.
4. Wear musky cologne
Aside from how you look, how you smell can also greatly influence how attractive a woman finds you.
"How a man smells is highly linked to detecting genetic features for a suitable mate," explains Lisa Lawless, PhD, CEO of Holistic Wisdom.
One scent that experts agree ups the sexy factor is musk, or anything with warm, earthy undertones like sandalwood and patchouli.
Lawless previously told Best Life that musky scents can make you come off as "grounded, comfortable to be around, and sophisticated."
5. Stand up straight
Slouching has been scientifically proven to make men come off as less attractive to women.
Therefore, to grab their attention, stand with your feet a little less than shoulder-width apart and your hands easily by your side, Jodi R.R. Smith, human resources professional, etiquette consultant, and founder of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, previously told Best Life.
To complete the confident stance, she recommended keeping your shoulders back and your chin parallel to the floor.
6. Flex those glutes and abs
Been hitting the gym? Even if you have a well-rounded, toned body, it's the abdominal and gluteus muscles that women are likely to find sexiest.
A 2019 study published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology had participants share "reported size preferences for 14 major muscle groups." Women responded that they preferred "larger obliques, followed by glutes, abdominals, biceps, shoulders…"
7. But don't stress about being overly muscular
"It may surprise many men to learn that being a bodybuilder … is not what most women look for when it comes to physical characteristics," explains Lawless. "Most women are attracted to what is referred to as a 'soccer build,' where one is fit but not overtly muscular."
8. Keep a little stubble on your face
The next time you're shaving, keep a little stubble.
A 2016 study published in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology evaluated women's responses to different levels of facial hair and found that heavy stubble was the most attractive, followed by light stubble, full beards, and finally, clean-shaven faces.
Moreover, a separate 2021 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior—which looked at the role facial and body hair played in how attractive women found the opposite sex—concluded that "men with more evenly and continuously distributed facial hair from the lower jaw connecting to the mustache and covering the cheeks were judged as more sexually attractive than individuals with more patchy facial hair."
9. And make sure your chest hair is groomed
That same Archives of Sexual Behavior study found that "men with body hair were less attractive than when clean shaven, with the exception of images depicting some hair around the areolae, pectoral region, and the sternum that were significantly more attractive than clean-shaven bodies."
10. But be proud of your body no matter what
Nothing is sexier than confidence (more on that later), so whether you have a full chest of hair or a little extra cushion in your midsection, the most important things are to be healthy and proud of your body.
"Taking care of one's physical appearance and showing confidence in one's body is attractive to women," says Nia Williams, a relationship therapist and life coach. "It reflects self-care and a positive body image, which can enhance attraction and self-assurance."
11. Play the guitar
Know how to strum a tune? Break out your guitar around a woman, and there's a good chance you'll send her swooning.
In a 2014 poll conducted by 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair, 1,017 American adults were asked about their music preferences, including which instrument was the sexiest. Twenty-six percent chose the guitar, while 25 percent said the saxophone, and 21 percent the piano.
12. Drive a black pickup truck
A 2014 study conducted by Insure.com surveyed 2,000 men and women about the type of vehicle that makes members of the opposite sex most attractive—and 32 percent of women said pickup trucks, followed closely by sports cars at 27 percent.
"Women overwhelmingly point to black (53%) as the color of cars driven by good-looking men," the study also found.
"Among the general public, a black pickup truck is a reflection of a masculine owner," Joe Wiesenfelder, executive editor of Chicago-based Cars.com said in response to the study. "A woman walks up to a black pickup truck and says to herself, 'Here's a guy who can help me move, bring me large gifts from Crate & Barrel and do repairs around my condo.'"
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13. Hold babies
Seeing a man interact well with children sends a subconscious, evolutionary signal to a woman that he would be a great dad. "It makes women's hearts melt," says Samantha.
14. Bring your dog along
Meeting a woman for a walk? Don't shy away from bringing your four-legged friend along.
A 2015 study conducted by Direct Line found that 49 percent of British women perceived pet owners as more attractive, according to the Huffington Post.
Likewise, a 2021 study conducted by Honest Paws found that 60 percent of participants—600 singles using dating apps—were more likely to click on someone's profile if they had a dog in their photo, per People.
15. Go to therapy
"For women, there's something truly irresistible about a man who embraces his vulnerabilities and takes charge of his mental well-being," shares Christopher Paul Jones, a leading phobia specialist, bestselling author, and speaker.
"Women appreciate men who have the courage to open up about their mental health and aren't afraid to face their fears head-on. It shows strength, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal growth," he adds.
16. Be vulnerable
"We live in a world that is rife with toxic masculinity. Emotions are not seen as 'masculine' and men are constantly encouraged to shut off their feelings," shares Gigi Engle, ACS, a certified sex educator and resident intimacy expert at 3Fun. This way of thinking ends up harming both men and women alike.
"When men are able to speak about emotionally intense things with comfort and self-compassion—rather than embarrassment—it's really sexy," she adds. "Being able to own and name your emotions without fear shows resilience and groundedness, all qualities that are essential for good partnerships."
17. Share your passions
Whether you're passionate about your career, a hobby, or a cause, don't hold back on sharing this enthusiasm with women.
"It's not so much about the thing he's passionate about, but rather the dedication, energy, and commitment he shows," explains Wasser. "This can translate into other aspects of life—such as relationships. A passionate man is likely to put effort and energy into making a relationship work."
18. Connect on shared values and life goals
Did you notice that you have similar thoughts on raising children to the woman you're seeing? Share it with her!
"Women are often drawn to men who share similar values, beliefs, and life goals," explains Williams. "This alignment creates a sense of compatibility and the potential for a fulfilling future together."
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19. Exude confidence (not arrogance!)
Nearly all the relationship experts we polled expressed the importance of being confident but knowing when you're crossing over into arrogant territory.
"We often hear women swooning over men who exude confidence, and there's a reason for that," says Wasser. "Confidence is magnetic. It signifies a man who knows his worth, who is comfortable in his skin, and who is not afraid to take the lead."
"But there's a fine line here," she adds. "Confidence invites people in; arrogance pushes them away. A man who knows that balance can be irresistible indeed."
Ask a woman for her list of must-haves in a man, and it's very likely "sense of humor" will be at the top of her list.
According to Wasser, a sense of humor "suggests he doesn't take himself too seriously and knows how to enjoy life." She adds, "In the middle of an argument or a tough day, a joke or a playful comment can be a stress reliever."
21. Show your soft side
It probably goes without saying that women look for kind men, but as Wasser points out, it's "not that flashy, performative type of kindness that's all about making a good impression," but rather what comes out when no one is looking.
For example, it's "that instinct to help an elderly person cross the street or take the time to comfort a distressed child," she explains. "It indicates a level of empathy and emotional intelligence that's incredibly appealing to women."
22. Be consistent
Tend to show up late or cancel plans at the last minute? You'll probably want to work on that.
"The first thing I see women craving in dating or relationships is consistency," shares Taylor Carr, dating and relationship coach and CEO of Upgrade With Taylor. "When a man is consistent, shows up, and doesn't keep her guessing, her whole body can relax and feel safe with him. Consistency is extremely sexy."
23. Text regularly
No one wants to be hounded by texts all day, but this is another case where consistency is key.
"All of these 'rules' around texting are such a turn-off," says Engle. "A man who texts back on the regular and isn't afraid about being too available is an emotionally mature person who is worthy of your time."
24. Be an empathetic listener
"It's sexy when someone listens to the words coming out of your mouth, rather than waiting for you to finish so they can have their turn to speak," says Engle.
Williams agrees and says that "this behavior fosters emotional connection and demonstrates respect and empathy."
What's even more attractive, though, is a man who knows "the different ways one wants someone to listen to them," says Lawless. For example, does your girlfriend or wife just want to vent? Or is she looking for you to offer practical solutions?
25. Give your undivided attention
"With the Tinder culture, we are getting used to going on a new date every other week, so receiving undivided, special attention is irresistible," says Samantha. "It's the way a person makes us feel that makes us fall for them at the end of the day."
26. Communicate clearly
How many arguments can you think of that stemmed from miscommunication? This is why experts say it's so important to show a woman that you have clear communication skills.
"Men who can express their thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully are seen as attractive partners," notes Williams.
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27. Show off how handy you are
There's something about a man holding a drill that has long turned women on. And as Carr explains, this might have more to do with displaying your problem-solving skills than with flexing your biceps.
"If something breaks, he fixes it. If something is wrong, he finds solutions without asking questions. This is a very sexy, masculine quality that women crave," she explains.
28. Do chores
If you live with a woman, one of the sexiest things you can do is help out around the house.
"Women who reported that they performed a large proportion of household labor relative to their partner were significantly more likely to perceive their partners as dependent on them to keep the household functioning, and this, in turn, was associated with significantly lower desire for their partner," the study explained.
29. Cook a meal
Cooking a quick, weeknight dinner probably falls into the "chores" category, but taking time to prepare a romantic meal is undeniably sexy.
"Everyone has to eat, yet taking the time to customize a menu and create something with or for someone is heartfelt and bonding," Randi Levin, transitional life strategist and founder of Randi Levin Coaching, previously shared with Best Life.
"This is especially true if the food presented is based on new experiences, shared likes, or the culmination of previous conversations," she added.
30. Plan small romantic gestures
A lot of men think being "romantic" means taking a woman out for an expensive dinner or buying her diamonds. But more often than not, the most romantic gestures are the smallest ones.
"Whether it's leaving a little love note on her car, making sure her [gas] tank is full, or having her favorite snack waiting for her when she gets home at night … a man who knows his woman and uses thoughtfulness to make her life a more beautiful place is very sexy," shares Carr.
31. Make time for quality intimacy
You don't have to be raring to go in the bedroom every single day. According to a 2016 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, married couples found the quality of sex more important than the quantity.
"When it comes to feelings of marital satisfaction, therefore, a satisfying sex life and a warm interpersonal climate appear to matter more than does a greater frequency of sexual intercourse," the study states.
32. Hug, and hug some more
In a recent article about how many hugs one needs a day, Best Life quoted Faisal Tai, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist and the CEO of PsychPlus, who explained that this simple physical actually boosts oxytocin, known as "the feel-good hormone," when receptors on our skin send signals to the brain.
"This hormone promotes positive feelings and builds and maintains a positive outlook, which is why it feels so good!" he said. "Just think about the last time you were given a hug or a pat on the back, or someone put their arm around your shoulders."
So, looking to make your lady feel loved? A quick hug can go a long way.
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