When men talk about what, outside of personality, they find super attractive about a certain woman, the list usually involves a lot of body parts. But when women describe what they find attractive about a man, it often comes down to body language; they way he walks, the way he holds a glass, and even the way he buttons his shirt can be huge, inexplicable turn-ons. Not that a girl can’t appreciate a nice set of guns, of course, or a tall frame, but more often than not, it’s little gestures that can drive a woman wild. And what’s funny about it is that the guy doesn’t even realize he’s doing something that’s a turn-on, because that’s just how how he is naturally (which, of course, is part of what makes it so hot).
Herein, allow us to present a brief list of some of non-sexual body language that women have revealed to be huge turn-ons. And to get the other side’s perspective, check out 30 Things Women Do That Men Always Find Sexy.
Steering the wheel with just two fingers
When you’re in the car with a man, this exudes an air of complete control. It’s like the man’s body is saying, “I don’t even have to use my whole hand. I got this.” And for more ways to up your game, learn The Single Best Way to Boost Your Attractiveness.
Driving with an elbow out an open window
Letting the entire lower arm hang out is dangerous and implies a certain sloppy carelessness. Leaning your elbow against the open window and steering the wheel with just one hand, however, exudes control and total ease, with just a splash of recklessness. For places to drive one-handed, check out the 40 Roads Everyone Needs to Drive By Age 40.
Placing a hand on the small of a woman’s back, guiding her to her seat
Body language experts will say that, when a man puts his hand on your upper back, it can be a friendly gesture, but a hand on the lower back always implies desire. In addition to being a subtle mark of attraction, it’s also quite chivalrous, as you are at once leading her while also letting her go first. (It goes without saying that this is a move that can only be done with a woman you’re dating, not, say, a colleague at a work dinner.) For more ways to boost your chivalry, check out the 50 Ways to Be (Much) More Romantic.
Placing a hand just above her knee at the bar
Again, it cannot be overstated that this is a great move only when you know the woman is into you. And, even then, if, for whatever reason, she takes your hand off, or tenses up, abort immediately. A lot of what makes a man attractive is the ability to read a woman’s body language and make sure she feels at ease.
Extending an arm against the back of her chair
This is particularly nice when you’re in a restaurant together, or at a family function, as it sends a subtle signal to everyone that she’s your girl and you’re proud of it. And for more ways to comport yourself in a highfalutin establishment, learn the 25 Things You Should Always Do In A Fancy Restaurant.
Wrapping an arm around her waist
This is a really nice protective gesture, especially when you’re walking through a dodgy area, but it’s somehow especially exciting when the man does it if he’s on a phone call, to remind his girl that just because he’s talking to someone else doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about her presence.
Taking a shirt off by pulling it over the head with just a thumb and forefinger
There’s no logical reason for why this is somehow more attractive then grabbing the shirt by the ends and pulling it off with both hands, but there it is.
Drinking a beer bottle with just two fingers
Like the elbow on the car window, this gives off an air of ease.
Taking a wallet out of the front pants pocket
In theory, this should not be more attractive than taking your wallet out of your coat pocket, which in many ways is the more civilized move, but for some reason that lean back and hand slide into a pair of jeans is irresistible.
Rolling a buttoned-up shirt to the elbows
In a massive reddit thread on things men do they don’t even realize are attractive, this got top spot. For some reason, this is way more of a turn on with a buttoned-up shirt than, say a sweater, perhaps because it sort of says, “Yes, I’m a professional man with his life together, but I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty when need be.” And for more style tips, learn the 40 Ways to Dress Well In Your 40s.
The “soft eyes” gaze
So much of what men are told is attractive revolves around being “dominant” and “assertive.” And while those can be, indeed, good qualities, one of the most upvoted responses on the aforementioned reddit thread was that feeling a woman has when she’s reading or putting on makeup and she looks up to find her man looking at her with eyes that suddenly resemble tiny pools of water. As one user put it, “‘I’ll catch my boyfriend looking at me with that softer look, and I’ll say, teasingly, ‘You’re staring!’ and he’ll say, ‘Gazing!’ and look away. The next minute I see him looking at me like that again, and every time, it makes my heart squeeze.” No wonder woman are more attracted to men with more “feminine features” for long-term relationships.
Wearing a nice sweater
This seems counterintuitive, but a lot of women describe seeing a muscular man in a sweater that is at once fitted and snuggly the same way men describe seeing Emily Ratajkowski in a bathing suit. Perhaps women have been inculcated into thinking this is attractive by the Victoria’s Secret winter catalogues, or perhaps it’s just a turn-on because it’s cuddly and protective. Plus, it gives a woman the opportunity to “drop the handkerchief.” For more on this move, check out 10 Subtle Signs a Girl Really Likes You.
Stretching while standing
When a man stretches and his shirt rises so that the V-shape of his pelvis is just slightly visible, it’s even better than being fully shirtless.
Offering Your Coat
The difference between being “chivalrous” and “patronizing” is all in the tone and body language. If you do something for a woman in a condescending way, that’s not attractive. But when you do it just to be nice, it is. On several threads, many women noted that there’s something charming and intimate about a man sliding his coat on and brushing her hair out of the way before you venture out into the cold. Don’t go overboard with full on Prince Charming moves like kissing her hand. Remember: being a modern gentleman is about making her feel good, not about making yourself look awesome.
On a massive thread on things men do that they don’t know is sexy, one Reddit user wrote, “Just being handy. Drives me wild when my [boyfriend] fixes something or puts something together.” For more on things that your grandmother taught you that are actually worth following, check out 40 Old-Fashioned Relationship Tips That Still Apply Today.
Running Your Fingers Through Your Hair
In the same thread, one user wrote, “Run their fingers through their hair. Especially when they’re doing it subconsciously, like while thinking , or after working out to get the sweat off their forehead.”
Wearing a Plain Black T-shirt
For some reason, this came up a lot in various threads. Especially when a man has great guns and a nice bod.
One Reddit user wrote, “When they take initiative to do something as little as wash a dish you forgot to wash,” on thread about non-sexual things that make a man sexy. Little things like this can also really make your partner fall in love with you, as proven by These Adorable Little Romantic Gestures Are Sure to Make Your Partner’s Day.
On Reddit user wrote, “Remembering personal details I’ve mentioned in passing conversation. A guy just made a comment to me about how my aunt worked at the zoo, and I lost [it]. Feels good to know you’re listened to, even if it’s sometimes about the mundane details of your life.”
Keeping Your Fingernails Short
This came up a lot in Reddit threads, and it’s a really easy fix. Invest in some nail clippers and use them regularly.
Doing Something Romantic
A lot of men think that being “romantic” means taking a woman out for a really expensive dinner or taking her on a boat ride through a lake filled with swans, but that’s not true. Oftentimes, the most romantic gestures stem from simply being thoughtful, like making her a cup of coffee every morning, or doing the dishes one night when you know she’ll be tired from coming home late, or taking her to the bench where you had your first kiss. For more on the little stuff that counts, check out 7 Ways to Reignite Your Romance in Your 40s.
Being Good With Kids
Seeing a man interact well with children sends a subconscious, evolutionary signal to a woman that he would be a great dad. Just watching a guy get down on one knee and patiently explain something complicated to a child can send shivers through a woman. To increase your own paternal qualities, learn the 20 Best Ways to Be A (Much) Better Dad.
Offering Up His Seat on the Train
This is one of those small gestures that tells a women you are kind, considerate, and gentlemanly—all of which are sexy qualities. On one Reddit thread, one woman said that one of the things that really turns on her on about her SO is that, when on a crowded train, he’ll “position himself directly behind me and tilt his shoulder toward anyone who comes close. He’s a lot bigger than I am and kinda broad-shouldered, so he effectively blocks me from being touched by strangers (which happens on the train a lot – if you’re a lady and it’s crowded, you’re probably gonna get groped at some point). I don’t think he consciously does it, but it makes me feel really loved/cared-for and I am crazy grateful for it every time.”
Wrapping Your Arms Around Her
By now, you’ve probably realized that being protective is sexy to a woman on a deep, primal level. And nothing makes a woman feel more safe or adored that when a man envelopes her with his body, especially when he’s standing behind her, like Atlas holding the world in his arms.
Holding a Puppy
This really stimulates all sorts of brain chemistry in a woman, particularly oxytocin, which is known as the “love hormone.” For more on the scientific reason puppies have this effect on people, check out Here’s the Age When Cute Puppies Are At Their Cutest.
Reading a Book
If there’s one thing we learned from the Hot Dudes Reading Instagram account, it’s that nothing is sexier than a man lost in a good book.
“I LOVE watching my boyfriend cook,” one woman wrote in a Reddit thread. “I can stand there and watch him all day long. He’s bustling around, chopping veggies and putting dry rub on meats and stirring things around in a pan, all confident and sure-like. He thinks he’s just making dinner. What he doesn’t know is that by the time the meal is ready, after watching him be so competent and unself-conscious and focused on making the food, I want to rip his clothes off and have my way with him first, and eat dinner later.”
Being Passionate about Something
“When my SO talks excitedly about anything he cares about, even if it isn’t really one of my interests, it is insanely attractive to me,” one woman wrote on the same thread.
Focusing on a Task
“I love the look a guy has on his face when he is trying to figure something out” another woman wrote. As with cooking, reading, and being passionate about a topic, it’s a sign that a man doesn’t have the attention span of a three-year-old, which is hot.
Loosening Your Necktie
Especially after a long day in the office.
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