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21 Questions For a New Relationship

Use these questions to find out just how compatible you and your new partner really are.

Dating may be tough, but the hard work doesn't come to an end once a new relationship begins. Getting to know a new partner takes time. It also means unveiling certain truths that may have not been revealed throughout your courtship, which is why we compiled a list of important things to ask. Below, you'll find 21 questions for a new relationship. At best, these prompts can help confirm you and your partner are on the same page about your relationship. At worst, they'll inspire some fun conversation that may or may not lead to more serious discussions. Read on to get started!

READ THIS NEXT: 21 Questions to Ask a Guy on Your Next Date.

21 Relationship Questions to Ask Before You Fall in Love

Maintaining a serious relationship takes work. Use the questions listed below to get to know your partner on a deeper level.

How do you define cheating?

love triangle on a park bench
Shutterstock / stockfour

Establishing some ground rules within a relationship is important to do early on. You don't want to encounter a situation where either you or your partner feel betrayed for reasons you have not yet discussed. Organize a time to discuss once things start getting serious. That way, you'll both know what lines not to cross.

What are your spiritual beliefs?

man praying
Shutterstock / Kues

This is a key question for new relationships. Understanding your partner's perspective on spirituality and religion will help you determine just how compatible the two of you really are. Fundamental differences between belief systems are enough to end a relationship. On the other hand, finding out that your partner believes in something similar to you can strengthen the bond.

What would you do with the money if you won a million dollars?

woman with a winning lottery ticket
Shutterstock / Wpadington

It may appear somewhat shallow on the surface, but this question is a great way to gauge your partner's approach to spending. Their answer will clue you into things concerning their commitment to saving and tendencies to participate in impulse buys. It also says a lot about where they are in life and how much of their earnings they're willing to share with those around them.

How do you usually express love and affection?

man looking surprised as woman kisses him on cheek
Shutterstock / Wpadington

Ask this question for a better understanding of how your partner acts within a relationship. Learning more about their chosen love language can help you manage expectations and anticipate certain behaviors at home or in public.

READ THIS NEXT: 271 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend Before Getting Serious

Are you a dog person or a cat person?

woman holding cat and smiling
Shutterstock / Marina Demeshko

This is a relatively fun question compared to some of the other prompts on this list. If you are planning on getting a pet anytime soon, you'll want to know if your partner is on board. And if you already have a furry friend at home, you'll need to know your partner is comfortable spending time with them. It could make or break plans for your future commitment.

What's something you excel at?

man holding a medal
Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi

Talk to your partner about any gifts or talents they possess. It's one way to get a sense of who they are and what they're interested in. Plus, there might be a few good stories to uncover here. You never know who grew up in a room full of trophies… and who didn't.

How do you preserve that "new relationship energy" during a long-term relationship?

couple drinking red wine during a romantic dinner
Shutterstock / RTimages

This is an important consideration for any growth-oriented relationship. Plus, you don't want to repeat any mistakes that may have impacted past relationships Difficult events and dry spells are inevitable, so it's essential to identify a few tools to help you through. That might mean planning for a romantic evening or scheduling a series of date nights in advance. Discuss with your partner to determine the best path forward.

Do you consider yourself a workaholic?

stressed woman at work late
Shutterstock / Andrey_Popov

Being in a committed relationship often means maximizing your time together. Of course, there are instances where you'll have to be apart, and work definitely falls under that umbrella. It's important to get a sense of how often your partner will be out of the house and how much control they have over that situation.

What kind of family dynamics did you grow up with?

silhouette of family fighting

This is also always an interesting conversation to have with someone new. Household dynamics have so much influence over who we are and how we behave. It's important to find out how your partner grew up to better understand how they might react in certain situations. It's also a pretty solid way to get more information on family traditions, traumas, and histories.

How do you usually react when you feel under attack?

couple fighting
Shutterstock / Makistock

Fighting is bound to occur, even in healthy relationships. But understanding your partner's conflict style can help ready you for these moments. Understanding how your partner deals with clashes and confrontations will better prepare you for conversations concerning what you will tolerate and what you won't.

Why did your last relationship come to an end?

Shutterstock / FREEPIK2

We've all been warned about individuals who call their exes crazy. In many cases, that supposed "psycho" behavior is actually a response to being mistreated. Discussing the past with your partner is a good way to see how they act in relationships, whether it's the beginning, middle, or end.

What's one of your biggest fears?

woman biting her nails looking fearful
Roman Samborskyi/Shutterstock

This can be a pretty intimate conversation, and asking someone about their fears might make them feel vulnerable. Still, it's a great way to learn more about them. While phobias can appear random and without consequence, they can also lead to bigger reveals about your new partner.

READ THIS NEXT: 228 Questions to Ask a Girl During Your Next Date.

What's your favorite kind of music?

man listening to music
Shutterstock / Dean Drobot

Here's a fun conversation starter—find out what kind of music someone favors. It's a great way to gauge someone's temperament. In some cases, it can also reveal more significant information about a person. After all, music often stands for something. It never hurts to find out what draws someone to a certain genre. Besides, you'll probably want to know how it compares to your own taste.

Do you like to pamper yourself?

man getting a facial

Practicing self-care is an important way to preserve your physical, mental, and spiritual health. It's also an important indicator of being able to take care of someone else. Learn how well your partner ranks in this area. It's important to know that someone will be there for you when you need it.

Do you prefer going out or staying in?

people dancing at a nightclub
Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi

It might not seem that significant, but this is an important question to ask when falling into a new relationship. Recreational preferences can make or break a relationship. If your partner insists on going out all the time when you'd rather stay at home, there's bound to be some tension. Hopefully, you two will be able to secure a healthy balance—one that provides plenty of quality time together, at the club, at home, or anywhere in between.

What's a dealbreaker for a new relationship?

Shutterstock / 9nong

This is pretty important to establish in a new relationship. Addressing potential dealbreakers will not only help preserve the relationship but will also tell you a whole lot about who they are and how well you two will vibe.

Do you eventually want to get married and/or have children?

parents walking with toddler
Shutterstock / TZIDO SUN

This might be one of—if not the most—important questions for a new relationship. If you're in it for the long term, then it's important to determine what you both want out of life. If your vision for the future holds something far different than what your partner has in mind, you might want to save yourself the headache and start looking for someone else.

Do you prioritize variety in the bedroom?

wooden symbols mimicking sex positions
Shutterstock / maradon 333

Sex is an important part of any healthy relationship. It may be uncomfortable, but asking a few intimate questions is a great way to establish expectations for your sex life. It also opens up room for a conversation concerning curiosities and past experiences.

When was the last time you cried?

man crying
Shutterstock / file404

It's important to know what makes someone emotional. That way, you know what subjects to introduce, what ones to avoid, and which areas to discuss a little more delicately. This question can also help reveal just how sensitive your new partner really is.

How often do you cook?

Shutterstock / David Herraez Calzada

The way someone eats can tell us a lot about their lifestyle. Someone who orders out all the time may not be making the healthiest decisions concerning their diet. It's also costly, so you might want to pay attention to their spending habits. On the other hand, someone who insists on cooking all their own meals may not lend themselves to the kind of flexibility you're looking for in a relationship.

READ THIS NEXT: 236 Important Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend.

What's an important bucket list activity you want to accomplish in the future?

People Laughing in the Office
Shutterstock / fizkes

Learning more about someone's future goals is a great way to determine if you're a match. It's also a way to find out if you guys are at similar places in your life. Of course, you want to save some things for yourself, but the more aligned you two become on future goals, the better.

How to Ask These New Relationship Questions

Now that we got through what we should ask before getting involved in a new relationship, we should probably discuss when to bring things up. After all, you don't want to bombard a new partner with tons of different questions. Instead, try to ease into things a little more organically. Below, you'll find a few different suggestions for kicking off the conversation.

Don't Ask Everything at Once

This tip is so important, we thought it bore repeating. Remember: Nobody likes to get interrogated. Let the conversation unfold as naturally as possible. From there, you can determine which questions are worth asking, and which ones you should save for later.

Don't Make It Weird

Sure, you might want to save some for special occasions but for the most part, these questions can be introduced pretty casually. Try to pepper things in as naturally as you can. And remember, don't veer too off-topic. There are a lot of questions to get through here. Some are bound to be more applicable than others.

Keep it Light

Learning more about your new partner should be fun, so don't turn it into a chore. It doesn't really matter if you make it through every question on the list. The only thing you should focus on is how connected you feel to one another. If you sense there's something you're missing, you can address it. Otherwise, go with your gut, and feel free to knock a few prompts off the list.

Keep an Open Mind

Before you start asking your new partner all these personal questions, it's important to recognize that you may not agree with all of their answers. Don't get upset, and don't turn things into a debate.

Wrapping Up

That's it for our list of questions to ask in a new relationship, but be sure to check back in with us soon! Best Life is committed to helping you find the right words for any occasion.

Carrie Weisman
Carrie Weisman oversees all SEO efforts at Best Life. She specializes in content optimization and editorial marketing. Read more