Like it or not, texting has become many people's primary method of communication—especially when it comes to their romantic connections. But a lot can get lost in translation over text. You may get confused, misinterpret things, or even miss some major red flags in your partner's texts. To help you recognize signs of trouble, we reached out to several therapists and relationship experts to get insight into what certain messaging habits could really mean. Read on to find out more about what they say are the 10 red flags to watch out for with your partner's texts.
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How can texting impact a relationship?
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Since texting has become the primary mode of communication in many relationships, its impact on a couple cannot be understated, according to Natalie Rosado, LMHC, founder of Tampa Counseling Place. "It can both enhance and hinder relational dynamics," she tells Best Life.
Looking at it positively, texting provides couples with a "convenient way to stay connected throughout the day, share small moments, and express affection," according to Rosado.
"Quick messages of love and support can strengthen bonds and provide reassurance," she notes.
However, on the negative side, "texting can also reveal deeper concerns about a relationship," according to Rosado.
"For instance, the frequency, tone, and content of messages can highlight issues such as communication styles, emotional availability, and conflict resolution patterns," she explains. "And misinterpretations can easily arise due to the lack of non-verbal cues, leading to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts."
With that all in mind, here are 10 things to watch out for.
1. Their replies are vague.
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When it comes to reading between the lines of your partner's texts, one of the most common red flags is vague responses, according to Joni Ogle, LCSW, certified sex addiction therapist and CEO of Transcend Recovery Community.
"If your partner often sends short, unclear messages, it might signal disinterest or avoidance," she explains. "They could be texting this way to keep their distance or hide something."
2. They usually send non-committal responses.
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If your partner's vague texts are often accompanied by non committal answers such as "maybe," "we'll see," or "I don't know," then that is even more of a concern, Rosado warns.
"Responses like this can indicate a reluctance to make plans or commit to the relationship," she notes. "It may reflect ambivalence or a lack of clarity about their feelings and intentions."
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3. They overuse emojis or GIFs.
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If your partner's texts often include graphics instead of actual words, that can also be concerning.
"While emojis and GIFs can enhance communication, overreliance on them instead of meaningful words can indicate an avoidance of genuine conversation," explains Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, licensed neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. "This might suggest a reluctance to engage in a deeper, more personal way."
Your partner's reliance on emojis can lead you to feeling disconnected with each other, increasing the chances of a "relationship breakdown," Courtney M. Hubscher, MS, licensed mental health counselor and therapist at GroundWork Counseling, adds.
"People are increasingly relying on emojis rather than expending the effort to communicate with words. The result is a tendency towards less meaningful conversations, as emojis lack the ability to convey complex emotions and nuances that come with verbal communication," Hubscher says.
4. They rely on certain emojis too often.
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One of the most polarizing emojis is seemingly well-intended: the thumbs up. In general, this emoji indicates that something "sounds good," and occasional use is just fine. But if your partner relies on this emoji, it could be a sign of indifference.
"A thumbs-up emoji can be a quick way to indicate that you’re on board with what your partner has said, but if your conversations become a string of thumbs-up responses, it might be a sign your partner is not truly engaged in what you are saying," says Beth Ribarsky, PhD, professor of interpersonal communication at the University of Illinois Springfield.
Divorce attorneyCorri Fetman adds that your partner might send a thumbs up because they aren't paying attention: "This emoji is used too often to end the conversation because they are tuning the other person out."
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5. They are constantly checking in.
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Your partner may use their texts to excessively monitor or control you as well—which is something you should pay attention to as another red flag.
"If your partner frequently checks on your whereabouts or demands constant updates, it could indicate insecurity or distrust," Hafeez says. "This behavior can be controlling and suffocating, leading to an unhealthy relationship dynamic."
6. Or their responses are often delayed.
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On the other hand, having a partner who texts less isn't always a good thing either.
"Regularly slow replies can indicate a lack of enthusiasm or respect for your time and emotions," Hafeez notes. "It might suggest that your partner isn't prioritizing staying connected with you, which can weaken the relationship's bond of trust and communication."
RELATED: I'm a Psychologist and These Are 5 Telling Signs Someone Is a Controlling Partner.
7. Their texts have slowed down.
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It's also important to watch for any sudden changes in texting frequency. "A noticeable drop in how often your partner texts you can signal emotional distancing or a fading interest," Hafeez says.
As she explains, a sudden slow down in how much your partner texts you "might mean they're becoming less invested in the relationship or are prioritizing other aspects of their life over communicating with you."
8. Their texting style suddenly changes.
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But don't just pay attention to sudden changes in texting frequency. It's also a red flag if their texting style switches up suddenly. For example, their texts might start becoming overly formal out of nowhere.
"Sudden changes in communication can signal that something is amiss," Rosado says. "It might indicate that your partner is distracted, losing interest, or dealing with external factors affecting their ability to engage with you as before."
RELATED: 10 Red Flags You're Dating a Gaslighter.
9. Their texts are typically negative or critical.
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It can be hard to decipher someone's tone over text. But you normally know when a person is frequently being negative or critical in their texts, "often pointing out your flaws or complaining about trivial matters," according to Rosado.
"A consistently negative tone can be a sign of underlying dissatisfaction or resentment," she says. "It can also lead to a toxic communication pattern where negativity overshadows positive interactions, eroding the relationship over time."
10. They tend to start arguments through text.
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A partner who wants to engage in healthy communication won't be interested in starting fights over texts. So, if arguments frequently escalate through your partner's texts, that is also a big red flag.
"Text disagreements may point to deeper issues in the relationship," Ogle says. "Discuss important matters face-to-face to avoid miscommunication and strengthen your connection."
