When you got married, you made your vows to your partner—a set of hopes and promises for your future together. Since that day, you and your marriage have probably grown and changed in ways you couldn't have imagined on your wedding day. Practicing daily marriage affirmations is a way to let your vows evolve and grow along with your relationship while still honoring the things that made you say "I do" in the first place.
A powerful tool for focusing your attention on what matters most to you both, affirmations can help you decide how you want to show up for your partner moving forward. This can ultimately strengthen your bond, help create a shared vision for your future, and make you more satisfied with your marriage.
"Happy marriages require a foundation of appreciation and attunement. When we mindfully choose affirmations that foster love and connection to the self and others, we naturally feel more loving and lovable," clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of The Joy of Imperfect Love, tells Best Life. "Our feelings and thoughts unconsciously weave together to create healthy (or unhealthy) energy in a relationship. Mindful affirmations can help us create and maintain positive feelings and thoughts that foster a healthy, happy marriage."
Looking for just the right affirmations to give your partnership a boost? Read on to learn 14 marriage-focused mantras that therapists and marriage counselors recommend.
RELATED: 5 Signs Your Marriage Is Divorce-Proof, According to Therapists.
1 | "I trust you, and I trust us."
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Relationships and marriages are based on trust, but it goes beyond just being faithful to one another. Affirming that you trust yourself and your partner can only bolster the relationship you have personally and romantically.
"Trust is the backbone of any relationship, and in marriage, it is no different," Courtney Hubscher, LMHC, LCPC, NCC, of GroundWork Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, says. "To voice your trust in your partner's judgment, decisions, and fidelity is a proclamation that you believe in the strength of your union. It affirms the deep-seated confidence that, come what may, you both will make it through together."
2 | "We do our best to show love—to live love—every day.
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This affirmation is one of Manly's suggestions that allows you to promote growth and development in your marriage.
"Life can get very busy, and we often forget to be loving with ourselves and our partners. Affirmations are a lovely 'wake up call' to the psyche to show that we value ourselves and our relationships," she says.
With this particular affirmation, you're putting thoughts into action.
"This is helpful to couples as it affirms that love is an action word," Manly adds. "Partners who actively show their love through connective actions tend to feel closer and more satisfied."
According to Hubscher, another way to show your partner love is by saying something as simple as "I'm proud of you"—even if it's not about anything grandiose.
"Acknowledging your partner's accomplishments, whether big or small, breeds a culture of appreciation in marriage," she shares. "It signifies respect and admiration for your partner's individual growth, as well as the strides you've made together as a couple."
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3 | "I am safe with my partner."
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Another aspect of trust is feeling safe with your partner, which is where this simple affirmation comes into play.
"A good partner will make you feel safe physically and emotionally. And, when we feel safe, we are able to make ourselves vulnerable. This vulnerability ultimately allows your partner to better understand your past and present and be better able to grow together in the future," says Beth Ribarsky, PhD, professor and director of the School of Communication at University of Illinois Springfield.
She adds that this affirmation can be difficult for those with "traumatic family or other relational experiences," as they don't let their guard down as readily.
"Reinforcing the idea of safety with a partner can help foster the feeling of a consistent, protective environment—knowing they can turn to their partner when they feel threatened," Ribarsky explains.
4 | "I do not need to love myself perfectly to love others well."
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There's a common saying that you need to love yourself before loving others, but this isn't exactly true.
"When we release the expectation of giving or receiving perfect love, we tend to feel less anxious and stressed in relationships," Manly notes. "When we focus on doing our best—rather than being perfect—genuine love tends to thrive."
Manly cites this affirmation as her signature phrase on her Imperfect Love podcast, highlighting it as a pivotal one to repeat to yourself.
RELATED: The Power of Positive Self-Talk: 4 Science-Backed Reasons Affirmations Work.
5 | "I accept and love my partner for who they are."
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Being with someone means celebrating them and all that they are—and even better if you can introduce this mantra before you get to the altar, according to Ribarsky.
"None of us are perfect, so we shouldn’t expect our partners to be either. But, things you might see as 'flaws' are ultimately part of their holistic self. No one should enter a marriage with the plans or hopes that their partner will change," she says. "Before someone even thinks about getting married, they must ask themselves, 'Can I accept this person for who they are right now?'"
Ribarsky concludes, "As we reinforce the idea that we love our partner for who they are, we can learn to embrace their 'flaws' as what makes them unique."
6 | "I cherish our individual uniqueness, and I celebrate our differences."
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Similar to loving your partner for who they are, it's also powerful to love them for the things that make them unique. By embracing this mantra, you're placing value on your partner's special qualities—even the ones that may sometimes lead to friction between you.
"This affirmation emphasizes the importance of valuing individuality within a marriage," explains Bayu Prihandito, a life coach and the founder of Life Architekture. "Every person is unique, and sometimes, the differences can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts. By cherishing and celebrating these differences, couples can foster a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other, leading to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship."
7 | "I am committed to growing our relationship with love, respect, and kindness."
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To have a marriage that stands the test of time, you'll need to be able to grow together—an endeavor that takes more respect, kindness, and patience than you probably realized at the altar.
"This affirmation serves as a daily reminder of the ongoing effort required to nurture a marriage. It shows the importance of love, respect, and kindness as essential ingredients for a happy and healthy partnership," says Prihandito.
The life coach says it's important to try to embrace each new phase of your life together, whatever that may bring. "By affirming a collective journey, couples can build a supportive environment where both partners feel valued, heard, and understood, strengthening their emotional intimacy and bond," he adds.
8 | "We grow through challenges together."
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No marriage is without its challenges and no life is without its ups and downs—it's what you do when the rubber hits the road that will determine the strength of your relationship. If, as a couple, you can embrace challenges and difficulties as a catalyst for growth, you're likely to come out stronger, says Ryan Sultan, MD, a board-certified adult psychiatrist, family therapist, and professor at Columbia University.
"This affirmation serves as a reminder that challenges, instead of pushing couples apart, can be opportunities for growth. By facing adversities hand in hand, couples can strengthen their bond and deepen their understanding of each other," Sultan shares.
RELATED: 7 Things Divorced People Wish They Had Done Differently in Their Marriage.
9 | "I am willing to understand before being understood."
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Oftentimes when couples argue, both people are focused solely on being understood. Prihandito recommends trying this affirmation, which offers a more generous and rewarding approach to problem-solving.
"This affirmation focuses on the art of listening, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of communication. By committing to listen with an open heart and mind, you can create a safe space for open, empathetic, and honest communication, leading to greater understanding and connection," he says.
Sultan agrees that affirmations that emphasize active listening can help lead to happier marriages: "Effective communication is the cornerstone of a happy marriage. By valuing your partner's perspective, even if you don't always agree, you lay the foundation for trust and mutual respect."
10 | "We communicate openly, honestly, and with kindness."
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How you communicate with your partner can deeply shape your marriage. Experts say it's important to balance honesty and kindness, especially when you're discussing sensitive topics.
"Communication is pivotal in any relationship," explains Domonique Rice, IMFT-S, a holistic sex therapist with The Art of Love and Intimacy. "This affirmation reinforces the importance of open and honest dialogue but underscores that it should always be conducted with kindness to avoid inflicting emotional hurt and to facilitate productive discussions."
11 | "I choose to focus on my partner's strengths, not their flaws."
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No one is perfect, and when you're married, you get to know your partner's flaws intimately and in great detail. However, choosing to focus on their more positive traits can help preserve the affection you have for one another.
"It's natural for the imperfections of a partner to come to the fore over time. This affirmation encourages a shift in perspective, emphasizing appreciation over criticism. By consciously choosing to focus on strengths, spouses can foster gratitude and admiration, which in turn can reignite passion and affection," says Sultan.
12 | "I am grateful for the love and support we share."
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Appreciation for your partner and the bond between you can go a long way in helping to build a happy marriage. This affirmation honors your capacity for love and support, but if you want to get even more specific, you can incorporate the other particular aspects of your relationship that you're grateful for.
"Gratitude can be immensely powerful," says Rice. "Regularly acknowledging and expressing thankfulness for the love and support within the marriage can foster positivity, minimize the tendency to take the partner for granted, and reinforce the appreciation for shared experiences and support."
RELATED: 8 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage in Retirement.
13 | "We choose our marriage to be a source of safety and happiness."
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According to Irina Baechle, LCSW, a relationship therapist and coach, deciding what you want your marriage to represent or provide can help you get what you need out of the relationship.
"This affirmation helps improve the marriage by reminding both partners of their mutual goals," she explains.
While some couples may view their marriage as a source of safety or happiness, others may view it as a source of growth, or any number of other things. Give some thought to what your marriage provides you, and try putting your own spin on this one.
14 | "We prioritize and respect each other's needs and feelings."
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When each person is willing to put their partner's needs and feelings first, true teamwork ensues, Rice says
"This affirmation underscores mutual respect and consideration for each other's emotions and needs, ensuring that both partners feel valued and heard within the marriage, thereby reducing potential resentments and fostering empathetic understanding," she shares.
You can put this affirmation into action by taking concrete steps to support your partner in getting their needs met.
"It is important to note that affirmations are most effective when they are believed and aligned with actions that corroborate the stated phrases," says Rice.
This story has been updated to include additional entries, fact-checking, and copy-editing.
