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I'm a Marriage Coach and This Is How I'd Solve Relationship Boredom

It doesn't mean you've fallen out of love. Here are 5 tips to reignite the spark.

When you've been in a relationship for a long time—even one with all of the ingredients for compatibility and fulfillment—a bit of boredom is often the price you pay for stability. However, in some partnerships, this perfectly common complaint can become destructive when that small seed of boredom grows into full-blown apathy. Gone unaddressed, feelings of boredom can mark or even spark the beginning of a relationship's end.

That's why we spoke to Jacquie Del Rosario, EdD, who goes professionally by Dr. Jacquie, America's Marriage Coach. She says that if you've found your own relationship in a rut, there's more than a little reason for hope.

"Boredom in a relationship is not a death certificate, but it is a warning light that your relationship needs a tune-up," Dr. Jacquie tells Best Life. She explains that boredom tends to crop up when the excitement of the honeymoon phase fades and you settle into daily routines. "Boredom is a natural phase, but addressing it is key to a thriving relationship," she explains.

Ready to tackle your relationship boredom head-on? Here's everything you need to know to break free of your rut.

RELATED: 8 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage in Retirement.

Rediscover shared passions.

mature black woman in pink shirt and man in blue shirt riding bikes
Shutterstock/Monkey Business Images

Dr. Jacquie says that one of the best ways to rekindle your interest in one another is to bond over the things you love doing together. Rediscovering your shared passions can be a powerful way to reignite the flame, she says.

"It works because it taps into the initial joy that drew you together and creates new, positive experiences," she tells Best Life.

Prioritize quality time.

Older couple cooking together

Next, Dr. Jacquie says that prioritizing quality time together is "non-negotiable" when you want to overcome relationship boredom. You might cook a fun meal together, get outdoors, attend a social gathering, or simply schedule a tech-free time to spark new conversation.

"Amid busy lives, dedicating meaningful moments to each other fosters connection," she says. "It's effective because it deepens emotional intimacy, reminding you both of why you fell in love in the first place."

RELATED: 7 Things Divorced People Wish They Had Done Differently in Their Marriage.

Re-introduce novelty.

young interracial couple bowling together

Another way to beat relationship boredom is to shake up your everyday routine with a bit of spontaneity.

"Injecting novelty into your routine can be a game-changer. It might be trying new activities, exploring different date ideas, or even introducing a surprise element," says Dr. Jacquie. "Novelty keeps the relationship fresh, preventing monotony."

Communicate openly.

middle aged man and woman having a conversation on the couch
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

Communication is the cornerstone of all relationships. "Couples often underestimate its power," Dr. Jacquie notes. By pushing yourself to communicate more openly and asking your partner to do the same, you may reach new heights and depths in your coupledom.

"Explicitly express to your partner what excites you, your desires, dreams, and fantasies," she suggests. "This works because it fosters understanding and brings unspoken needs to the surface."

RELATED: The Top 5 Signs You Found the Love of Your Life, According to Relationship Experts.

Invest in personal growth together.


Sometimes the boredom you feel in your relationship has less to do with your partner and more to do with your own stagnation. Dr. Jacquie recommends investing in personal development together, which will help you grow both individually and as a couple.

"Jointly, you can attend workshops, read how-to and self-help books, or embark on a shared learning journey. This not only enhances your bond but also introduces new dimensions to your connection," notes the marriage coach.

Dr. Jacquie adds that when your boredom goes ignored, it can quickly lead to complacency, relationship dissatisfaction, and even the dissolution of that relationship. "Addressing it proactively allows couples to evolve, rediscover each other, and build a relationship that stands the test of time," she says.

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Lauren Gray
Lauren Gray is a New York-based writer, editor, and consultant. Read more
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