Like so many other aspects of love and romance, chemistry is a pretty abstract concept. It's hard to describe—but you know it when you feel it. Some recognize it as ease and comfortability around another person. For others, it registers as laughing at all the same things, or even finishing each other's sentences. Whereas compatibility refers to how well your personalities, interests, and values align, chemistry is that ever-elusive "spark." According to professional dating coachJacob Lucas, there are ways to detect it, too. So, the next time you're on a date with someone, keep a lookout for these telltale signs that your chemistry is off the charts.
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1 | You had an incredible first kiss.
Maryviolet / iStockThis might go without saying, but a memorable first kiss is a great early indicator of physical chemistry, explains Lucas in a recent TikTok video.
Psychology studies have even found that a first kiss can be powerful enough to alter your feelings of romantic attraction toward a partner.
That's not to say, of course, that you don't have chemistry if your first kiss is so-so. But if it gives you butterflies, that's definitely a good sign.
2 | You love their natural scent.
JLco - Julia Amaral / iStockWhether you know it or not, there's a large body of research that suggests smell plays a major factor in attraction.
And no, we're not talking about how great your date smells when they're wearing designer perfume or cologne. If you love their scent even without any added fragrance, Lucas says that can certainly suggest chemistry.
3 | You can talk to them for hours without getting bored.
iStockFeel like you never run out of things to talk about? Then you probably have amazing chemistry, says Lucas.
A conversation is like a dance—for it to stay engaging, each person has to make an equal effort to maintain the momentum, doing just as much sharing about their own lives, beliefs, and thoughts as they are showing curiosity about the other and asking questions. Chatting for hours and hours without ever getting bored suggests you've found that effortless rhythm that only comes with intellectual chemistry.
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4 | You fall asleep easily when you are next to them.
ShutterstockFalling asleep with someone—especially a new partner—can feel vulnerable. So, if you're able to drift off easily in their presence, that signifies feelings of comfort and security. It also suggests that you have chemistry with them, says Lucas.
5 | When you make eye contact, it feels very intense.
mihailomilovanovic / iStockMaintaining eye contact with someone can evoke a strong sense of emotional connection. In fact, research has shown that a shared gaze can cause you to feel instantly closer to a stranger.
As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul—so if eye contact with your date feels particularly intense, Lucas says that hints at explosive chemistry.
6 | You always feel a magnetic pull towards them, wherever you are.
lissa93 / ShutterstockWhen you spot them across the room, you find yourself immediately locking eyes or physically moving toward them. When you're meeting up in a crowded place, you have the urge to run into their arms. This kind of magnetic pull towards someone is a dead giveaway that you have chemistry with them, according to Lucas.
7 | Silences are never awkward
iStockNext time you and your partner are walking to dinner, taking a drive, or sitting at a restaurant, notice how you feel when there's a lull in conversation. Do you feel at ease? Or do you feel pressure to keep the conversation going?
Allowing these silences to happen suggests a certain comfortability with each other—which Lucas notes, can also be a sign of chemistry.
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8 | You feel very comfortable touching each other.
Rawpixel.com / ShutterstockMaybe you find that your date keeps subconsciously reaching for your hand while you're taking walks. Or maybe you can't help but place a hand on their knee when you're laughing at their jokes.
Either way, Lucas says that making a lot of non-sexual physical contact is a classic sign of chemistry. It indicates that you're not only comfortable around each other, but that you're feeling a special connection and eager to strengthen it even further.
9 | You find it very easy to flirt with each other.
iStockFlirting and chemistry go hand in hand. So, take note if you and your date seem to have the kind of effortless banter that you typically only see in rom-coms. According to Lucas, if you don't have to try very hard to flirt with each other, then you probably have killer chemistry.
10 | You feel like you've known them forever.
iStock / People ImagesEver been on just a few dates with someone but felt like you've known them for ages?
When people use the phrase, "You feel like home," to express their strong bond with their partners, this is what they're referring to. This inexplicable sense of familiarity suggests a level of comfort and security, and Lucas says it's also closely tied to chemistry.
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