10 Things Men Do When They're Not Interested, Dating Expert Reveals
Take note of these behaviors if you're unsure where you and your new flame stand.
Relationships are often confusing, especially at the beginning when you're still getting to know each other. At that point, you're not entirely sure how the other person feels, or whether there's a future for you two as a couple. Men and women will act differently in these situations, but if you're dating a man and find yourself trying to decode text messages and figure out what he wants, pay attention to specific behaviors instead. According to New York City-based dating expert Sarah Lauren, a man is likely to give you clear signs if he's not actually interested, meaning it's time for you to move on. Read on for 10 red flags that he's not just that into you.
He only reaches out on the weekends or at night.
According to Sarah, if you're only getting texts from a guy at certain times, it's not a good sign.
"If they only hit you up on the weekends, that's their fun time and that's their time that they don't have much going on," she said in a Nov. 1 TikTok video. "They could be looking for some fun, a little weekend plan, a little weekend fling."
If texts are limited to nighttime hours, Sarah says that's a "booty call."
"Girls, honestly, just don't even answer the booty call," she says.
You only see his bedroom.
In a relationship, you want to do different things and share different experiences, so if a man is only inviting you to spend time with him in the bedroom, something's amiss.
"If all you see is his bedroom, that's the only place in his life that he wants you to see," she explains. "You get the gist as to why you would be in the bedroom, but if I have to say it out for you, he just wants to hook up."
A guy who is seriously interested in you will want to take you out on dates and introduce you to his friends, she shares.
"If he's not doing that, he doesn't want you to see that or be involved with his life in that manner," Sarah says.
He's a "bad texter."
If you notice that a man isn't as responsive via text, or if he's a self-proclaimed "bad texter," he's likely not as interested.
"Any guy will text you and find time and make time to text you if they want to, and if they're interested and if they want to pursue you," Sarah says in the video, adding that if they want to put in the effort but don't like to text, they'll call you instead.
She continues, "If they don't, and he's a 'bad texter,' no sweetheart, he's not a bad texter, he's just not that interested in you."
He doesn't make concrete plans.
A man who is interested in you will want to see you—and he'll make sure he knows the next time you're getting together, Sarah says.
So, if he's not making plans in advance to ensure that you don't have something else going on, take that as a clear sign.
"If he's interested in you, he will make that plan and pursue it and do something special for you because he wants you to be his—and not anyone else's. He doesn't want you to have that chance to be on a date with somebody else," Sarah says.
In the same vein, an interested man will want to know what you've been doing since the last time you were together.
"If he's not asking you what you've been up to, what you've been doing, where you're going this weekend—or with who if you say you're going to a dinner or going out—then he's not interested. He's not even jealous, so it means that he doesn't care if you're with somebody else," Sarah cautions.
They use a specific "code word."
According to Sarah, "busy" is a code word—and if a guy is constantly telling you he's got something else going on, he's not interested in trying with your relationship.
"Everyone's busy in their life—absolutely everyone," she says in a Nov. 14 part two video. "Time isn't made for certain things, you make time for people that you want to hang out with. So if they're not making time and they're using that word 'busy' all the time, they're just using it as, basically, a thing to say because they don't want to hang out with you."
He's not touchy.
We all have our own love languages, but Sarah says that if a guy isn't touchy at all—like giving you a hug when he sees you, casually touching your leg at dinner, grabbing your hand—he's not that into you.
"Guys are so touchy, guys love physical attention—guys need that in their life," she shares. "If he's not getting it from you, he's getting it from somebody else."
He doesn't share his good news with you.
A man who is serious about a relationship with you will want to share his life with you, especially when good things happen, Sarah notes. This can include anything from a promotion at work to something big that happened with his friends or family.
"If he doesn't share the good news with you, he doesn't like you. If you're hearing from other people, then he doesn't like you," she says, adding that men who do want to invest in you will open up in this way.
He's annoyed by you.
A man being easily and consistently frustrated with you is another indicator that he's not interested.
"If you see that he's getting frustrated by you a little too often, chances are he's just annoyed by you and annoyed by your presence and he's not ever going to like you because you frustrate him," Sarah warns.
She notes that it might just be a personality clash, and in general, men—as well as women—need to be in a relationship with a partner that they can get along with.
He doesn't listen to you.
Communication is key in any relationship, and if a man just tunes out when you're talking, it's not a good sign.
"If you catch him not listening to your stories or to your day or to things that you're saying—it could be anything coming out of your mouth … it's because he truly just doesn't care," Sarah says.
She continues to explain that a man who is interested and cares about you will listen to whatever it is you have to say, even if it seems trivial.
He doesn't interact with you on social media.
An interested man is also going to actively interact with you on social media, Sarah points out, liking photos that you post or sending you direct messages.
If he's not doing that, "he's just not that into you," Sarah concludes.
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