Is your relationship in a bit of a rut? It’s normal for relationships to have ups and downs, especially long-term ones. “No relationship is perfect and it’s only normal that relationships can go through rough patches, it’s all about your motivation to be in the relationship and if it’s working for you," counselor Emma Roberts tells Woman & Home. Here are 10 romantic gestures that can help revive your relationship, according to experts.
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1. Revisit Old Haunts
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Going for a literal walk down memory lane can take you back to the beginning of your relationship. “Going somewhere you have great memories together can remind you that you’re still interesting people who like each other,” Amiira Ruotola, coauthor of How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking, tells Oprah Daily. “Sometimes we need a sensory kick in the butt to reignite a dormant spark.”
2. Put Down your Phone
Shutterstock When was the last time you gave your partner your full attention? Put your phone away and actually focus on the other person for a real conversation. "If either person in the relationship feels it's gone stale, ignoring or avoiding it will lead to more challenges,” mind coach and certified counselor Alison Blackler tells Woman & Home. “If feelings aren't shared, it's likely to come out in criticism, blame, or arguments and this is likely to build up resentment and dissatisfaction."
3. Burn Your Resentments
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Burn your resentments together to let go of past issues. “Sit down together and, on small pieces of paper, privately write down your resentments,” therapist Juliana Morris tells Oprah Daily. “[Then use a pit, or burning bowl, and] set the papers on fire with the intention of releasing the negative feelings.”
4. Say Thank You
ShutterstockSomething as simple as saying thank you can make the other person feel valued and noticed. “Oftentimes, when we are in a long-term relationship, we start to take each other for granted,” licensed marriage and family therapist Amanda Baquero tells PsychCentral. “One great way to reignite the spark in your relationship is to make time to practice gratitude with each other.”
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5. Work On Yourself
ShutterstockDon’t let yourself lose your own personality and interests in the relationship. “It’s difficult to feel attracted to someone who has lost their autonomy and individual identity,” Cori Dixon-Fyle, founder and psychotherapist at Thriving Path, tells Oprah Daily. “Not only will having individual interests give you something to talk about, but when you’re happy with yourself, you set the standard on how others love you.”
6. Date Nights
ShutterstockDate nights are a simple, fun way to reconnect. “There is a myth that sex should be spontaneous. Life can get busy and things can get in the way of being physically intimate with your partner,” Rachel Needle, PsyD, tells PsychCentral. “Planning ahead can build anticipation and excitement.”
7. Get Silly
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Don’t be afraid to flirt with your partner and just have fun. “The act of flirting goes hand in hand with being playful,” says Anna Svetchnikov, LMFT, via Psychology Today. “When couples can be silly together, tease each other harmlessly, or share private jokes, it fosters a sense of partnership. Such moments of levity are essential, especially in navigating the challenges that life throws at us.”
8. Show Physical Affection
ShutterstockHugging your partner releases oxytocin and serotonin, the happy hormones that promote love and bonding. “Continuing to hug, kiss, [and] snuggle is an important component of a healthy relationship and will increase the likelihood of remaining sexually active with your long-term partner,” Needle says. “Show your affection with hugs and kisses often.”
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9. Take the Initiative
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Don’t wait for your partner to make the first move. “If you want to feel wanted, make your partner feel wanted,” licensed couples therapist Kendra Capalbo tells Woman & Home. “All sorts of cycles exist in relationships, and we can’t always wait for our partner to shift."
10. Remember Why You Fell In Love
ShutterstockRemember what you most liked about your partner when you first met them, and remind them of it. “Essentially most people want to be desired and treated like we were when we first met our partners,” Mangala Holland, a women’s empowerment and sexuality coach, tells Woman & Home. “If date night, compliments, and expressing your appreciation have fallen by the wayside, creating new habits around these will really help our partners to feel valued.”
