How to Be a Better Partner: 15 Tips From Experts

1 | Embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth.

One of the best ways to become a better partner is to learn better conflict resolution skills. These include being honest while still emphasizing respect, seeking to understand and validate your partner's feelings and perspectives, being open to constructive criticism, and being willing to compromise, among other things.

"Every healthy relationship is going to have some level of conflict. If there's never any conflict or disagreements, that means that someone in the relationship isn't speaking up," says Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, a psychotherapist with Evolution to Healing Psychotherapy.

She says that rather than driving a wedge between you, these moments of divergence can help you understand each other better: "See conflicts as opportunities for growth rather than threats. Approach disagreements with curiosity and a willingness to understand your partner's perspective."

2 | Listen to understand, not to respond.

All too often, we get so caught up in the desire to be understood that we forget to listen actively to what our partner has to say.

"When your partner is speaking, focus on truly understanding their perspective rather than planning your rebuttal. This deep listening helps both of you feel connected and valued. You and your partner will also feel more safe sharing true feelings knowing it won't lead to a defensive argument," says Groskopf.

3 | Avoid the "four horsemen" in communication.

While some degree of conflict is normal and expected in a relationship, it's also important to keep tempers from flaring unnecessarily. Gabrielle Morse, LMHC, a psychotherapist at Gabrielle Morse, LMHC Psychotherapy, says that learning to avoid the "four horsemen" in communication—defensiveness, contempt, criticism, and stonewalling—can greatly improve your conflict resolution skills and help you sidestep needless fights.

"It's important that couples speak in a gentle manner when raising an issue with one another," she tells Best Life. "When things are getting heated, focus on de-escalating. This might look like pausing, recognizing the tension, and trying to problem-solve and reconnect. After all, underneath every fight is a need that each person wants to fulfill."

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4 | Engage in shared rituals.

Building a connection with your partner is an ongoing practice, and the experts say that one way to deepen your sense of shared meaning is by engaging in shared rituals. Groskopf notes that even small rituals can make an impact—for instance, going out for a weekly date night or having your morning coffee together.

"It's not just about the activity but the intention behind it—showing up for each other consistently. This consistency is a powerful reminder of your commitment and love," she tells Best Life.

5 | Commit to personal growth.

If you want to grow as a couple, it's also important to keep growing as an individual. Set goals in various aspects of your life, and make an effort to go after them.

"A healthy relationship isn't about two perfect people, but two people committed to growing together," points out Groskopf. "As you both evolve, you bring new insights and strengths into the relationship. It shows that you are two independent individuals who choose to be together and support each other's growth."

6 | Create healthy boundaries, and honor theirs.

All relationships benefit from having healthy boundaries, and romantic partnerships are no different. These don't have to feel like a wall put up between you—they're there to ensure that everyone's wants, needs, and expectations are communicated and met as often as possible.

"Boundaries allow each partner to have their feeling of safety and respect. Communicating these boundaries openly can lead to a stronger connection, as both individuals understand each other's needs and limits," says Kristie Tse, LMHC, founder of Uncover Mental Health Counseling.

However, before drawing any lines in the sand, it's important to reflect on whether your boundaries are healthy or if you're using them to control the other person or the relationship. For instance, telling your partner they're crossing a boundary by spending time with certain people or dressing a certain way is not considered healthy.

Unless it's about something that causes you harm, exploring the limits of your comfort should be the start of the conversation in which you both share your perspectives—not necessarily an ultimatum.

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7 | Make your partnership a safe space.

Relationships should be a safe space in which both partners can share all sides of themselves without fear of judgment. Striving to accept the full spectrum of your partner's personality and letting them know that's your aim can go a long way in creating that atmosphere.

"This involves active listening, validating each other's feelings, and offering consistent support. It's about knowing that your partner has your back, no matter what," says Groskopf.

8 | Have more fun.

Actively working to cultivate more positivity in the relationship is another way to be a better partner. In other words, make it your mission to have more fun together.

"Research shows that divorces and failed relationships are associated with the lack of positivity in the relationship rather than the presence of negativity. It takes effort to create an environment in which there is appreciation, fondness, and friendship," explains Morse.

9 | Practice appreciation and gratitude.

One of the best ways to be a better partner is to practice gratitude for all your significant other does. Then, be sure to tell them about the positive traits and actions you notice.

"Even the smallest gesture, like thanking them for making a cup of tea or giving them a hug goodbye, shows you see what they do for you. By being appreciative and grateful, you'll make your partner feel valued and loved," says Sarah Jeffries, MSc, a mental health first aid trainer.

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10 | Don't compare your partner to others.

As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy—and that's especially true if you compare your partner to others.

"Comparisons can create feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Every person has unique qualities and experiences that contribute to their identity. Embracing your partner for who they are, rather than measuring them against others, strengthens the bond you share," says Tse.

She adds that this goes hand in hand with understanding that no one is perfect—including yourself and the person you may feel tempted to compare your partner to.

"Recognizing that no one is flawless cultivates empathy and compassion in a relationship," she explains. "Accepting your partner's imperfections fosters a forgiving atmosphere where both partners can grow and learn together without unnecessary pressure."

11 | Make an effort to know your partner's inner world.

Truly seeing your partner for who they are and having a rich understanding of their inner world is another way to deepen your relationship and become a better partner. The best way to do this is to assume there's plenty you don't know and get curious about it—even if you've been together for years or decades.

"Ask open-ended questions about your partner, and never stop doing so. Because we are constantly evolving, it's important to continue to understand and learn about your partner. Ask about their feelings, hopes, dreams, fears—everything," Morse advises.

12 | Set your pride aside.

When pride is driving your actions, you may be less likely to self-reflect and apologize when necessary. You may also have a less generous interpretation of your partner when your ego is involved.

"Letting go of pride often leads to deeper understanding and connection," says Tse. "When both partners are willing to admit mistakes and show vulnerability, it builds trust. Prioritizing the relationship over ego can significantly enhance emotional intimacy."

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13 | Focus on repair and planning after conflict.

What happens after a conflict can also shape your relationship. Apologizing, acknowledging your role in the dispute, and demonstrating your desire to actively repair the bond can help rebuild your partnership better than ever.

"If we fight right, we come to an understanding of our partner's needs," says Morse. "It's important to process a conflict and come up with a collaborative plan for how to address it or prevent it next time."

Both partners should act in good faith and focus on what they can improve on next time. Try asking: "How do you think we could have handled this situation better? What did you need from me that you weren't getting this time around?"

14 | Prioritize trust.

Building trust by being transparent, reliable, and honest is another way that you can be a better partner and improve your relationship.

"Always keep your promises and your partner's confidence. Actively creating trust and honesty is crucial in every area of your relationship. It takes time to build trust, but once it's there, you'll essentially have a closer, more fulfilling relationship," notes Jeffries.

15 | Check your expectations.

Finally, many modern-day relationships are brought down by sky-high expectations. If you believe your partner needs to be your best friend, lover, co-parent, business partner, and more, Tse recommends actively trying to remove some of that pressure by acknowledging that they may not be all things to you at all times.

By keeping your expectations in check and allowing your other half to be human and make mistakes, you can foster an environment of deeper love, understanding, and acceptance.

"Expecting perfection or constant happiness in a relationship sets the stage for disappointment," Tse explains. "Healthy relationships require effort and patience. Acknowledging that ups and downs are normal helps maintain a balanced and satisfying partnership."