Dogs are known for being some of the most loyal creatures on earth. But, every so often, they can be bought for a very high price. Twitter user @JesseNeon learned this the hard way when he discovered that his pup, Brick, had been letting a local bear dig through Jesse's trash in exchange for some tasty deer bones.
"A bear has learned that my furry son can be bought," Jesse posted on Twitter along with photos of the evidence. "This is the THIRD TIME he's been gifted deer bones in exchange for being allowed access to my trash, AND HE KEEPS DOING IT."
My idiot furry son has one job at night - bork at things and make them go away. Easy, right?
HOWEVER, a bear has learned that my furry son can be bought. This is the THIRD TIME he's been gifted deer bones in exchange for being allowed access to my trash, AND HE KEEPS DOING IT. pic.twitter.com/6NOKiFNLgm — Jesse 'Writer, Not Writer*' Jordan (@JesseNeon) May 8, 2019
The tweet has gone viral since it was posted on Wednesday, amassing more than 35,000 retweets in just one day.
And everyone is on the side of the dog.
THIS PUP IS INNOCENT JESSE IF A BEAR GIVES U A GIFT U ACCEPT IT GRACIOUSLY YOUR PUP IS JUST BEING POLITE https://t.co/tkwT4Q3S6D
— darth™ (@darth) May 8, 2019
The"Honey Heist" has captured the hearts of Twitter users everywhere.
If even bears and dogs can come up with mutually convenient solutions, the rest of us can do the same.
Who wouldn't read a book by this bear on the art of negotiating? This is capitalism at its finest.
Or socialism, depending on how you look at it.
The Furletariot will rise again!
The internet is begging Jesse to set up a camera so we can see the negotiation in action. We imagine it ends with something like this:
Some Twitter users criticized Jesse for letting Brick have a stand-off with a bear in the first place, but he emphasized that the 100-pound "mastiff/hound mutt with some beagle in him" actually prefers to sleep outside where it's cooler. He also wrote that out in rural Canada, where they live, "black bears basically act like giant raccoons and raid trash, camps and cabins."
He's just about 100 lbs and prefers to sleep outside because he likes to sleep on the coolness of turn ground. Around here, black bears basically act like giant raccoons and raid trash, camps and cabins. Unless rabid or sick, they won't attack. My dog is clearly not in danger.
— Jesse 'Writer, Not Writer*' Jordan (@JesseNeon) May 8, 2019
Some people asked him where the bones were coming from, but Jesse said he's not entirely clear. "There must be a carcass nearby. The bears around here aren't typically known for killing deer, but they ARE known for being relentless and annoyingly persistent problem solvers."
I don't know where the deer bones are coming from, to be honest! There must be a carcass nearby. The bears around here aren't typically known for killing deer, but they ARE known for being relentless and annoyingly persistent problem solvers.
— Jesse 'Writer, Not Writer*' Jordan (@JesseNeon) May 8, 2019
Jesse also provided some more backstory on the sweet pup, whose full name is Brickleberry and who Jesse has been taking care of since his mom died shortly after he was born.
"He is great with kids and apparently bears," he wrote.
Do it! The dog's name is Brick, and he is the absolute goodest boy when he isn't bartering his loyalty for corpse meat. pic.twitter.com/LTBDqGrxkU
— Jesse 'Writer, Not Writer*' Jordan (@JesseNeon) May 8, 2019
Disney needs to get on this story ASAP. And if you need more evidence that bears are just giant balls of lovable fluff, check out these 18 Photos That Prove Bears Are Basically Just Big Puppies.
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