"It'll be better next year."
That's what everyone tells each other at the end of a difficult year. As bad as things have been, at least they can't get worse, right? It's an optimistic worldview that isn't always backed up by evidence. Sometimes, life doesn't improve year to year. Sometimes, sadly, we actually go backwards.
Case in point: the year we currently live in, 2018, which is rapidly coming to a close. Remember how grouchy everyone was at the end of 2017, grumbling that it could never get worse than this? Well, then 2018 said, "Hold my beer." Yes, this year was so much worse than anything 2017 could dish out.
If you need a reminder of just how horrific and soul crushing 2018 really was, we've assembled the ultimate guide to everything awful from this past year. Here's everything you need to ring out 2018 with a hearty "Good riddance!"
1 | Stephen Hawking died.
ShutterstockYes, famous people die every year. But it's not every year you lose the smartest person on the planet. We now officially have one less brilliant scientist who understands black holes and relativity and all that jazz.
2 | For 38 minutes, Hawaii thought they were under attack by missiles.
Image via YouTubeWhen you get a text from your government, and they're warning you of an "incoming ballistic missile threat" and "this is not a drill," your first thought is probably, "Okay, this is not a drill. We're all going to die!!" Turns out, it was a mistake. The (since terminated) employee kinda apologized, saying in an interview "I feel very badly from what's happened." But even so, you can't blame everybody in Hawaii for jumping every time they get a text message alert on their phone.
3 | Temperatures hit an all-time high.
ShutterstockAfrica reached a sweltering 124º Fahrenheit, "its hottest temperature ever reliably measured," according to the Washington Post. And here in the United States, Los Angeles reached a record-setting 111º Fahrenheit in July.
4 | It was the worst flu epidemic in a decade.
According to the CDC, we haven't had a flu season this deadly since the "swine flu" epidemic of 2009. A record 900,000 Americans were hospitalized by the time the flu season was over, and 80,000 died from the flu and its complications. It wasn't just bad—it was historically bad.
5 | Game of Thrones was on hiatus.
HBOThe last time we had a new episode of Game of Thrones to look forward to, it was the summer of 2017. We've had to endure an entire year without any updates on Jon Snow or Daenerys Targaryen or whether or not the Lannisters will pay back their debts. (They will.) The show comes back for its final season in April of next year. Let's hope the withdrawals don't kill us first.
6 | We learned our doctors aren't really listening to us.
Only 36 percent of patients actually get to explain their symptoms during a medical checkup, according to a new study in the Journal of General Internal Medicine. And when they are given a chance to speak, most doctors only let them talk for eleven seconds before interrupting.
7 | Blood pressure medicine was recalled because it causes cancer.
ShutterstockThe only thing worse than having high blood pressure is finding out the medication you're taking to ward off a heart attack or stroke might be giving you cancer. According to a new report, several blood pressure medicines were recalled this year after they were discovered to contain "trace amounts of a probable cancer-causing chemical called N-nitrosodiethylamine."
8 | There were double the school shootings.
There were a heartbreaking 94 school shootings on 2018, according to the NPS Center for Homeland Defense and Security. That's more than a 50 percent jump from the 44 school shootings reported in 2017. You don't have to be a parent to be totally freaked out and saddened by these numbers.
9 | Measles are back.
The measles, an infectious disease that's had a vaccine since 1963, is back with a vengeance. More than 41,000 people got the measles during the first six months of 2018, according to the World Health Organization. To put that in perspective, that's double the number of measles cases in all of 2017.
10 | Some powerful men still aren't being held accountable.
The #MeToo movement has (justly) forced many powerful men out of vaunted positions and into obscurity. And yet, for some, it seems to roll off like water. Louis C.K. is back on the standup circuit. James Franco returned for a second season of The Deuce. R. Kelly, who was banned from Spotify, is now back on the service.
11 | More people are getting hay fevers.
Millions more, in fact. And these are people who aren't usually affected by hay fevers. What's the deal? Apparently 2018 had an exceptionally high pollen count. It's been so bad that, in some states, like Texas, they've compared this year's allergy season to "a punch in the face."
12 | Giraffes are now on the endangered species list.
ShutterstockThe world's giraffes, whose global population is under 100,000 and dropping, have been in trouble for years, but in 2018 they were officially downgraded from "Vulnerable" to "Critically Endangered."
13 | People petitioned to taste mummy juice.
When archaeologists opened a 2,000-year-old black sarcophagus in Egypt this summer, they discovered three skeletons floating in a big bowl of red slime. Was it sewage or something else? Nobody knows for sure, but somebody created a petition, currently signed by almost 35,000 people, asking to "drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers."
14 | Aretha Franklin died.
The Queen of Soul. The woman who taught us how to spell respect. One of the greatest singers of all time. She's just… gone.
15 | The Tide pod challenge
ShutterstockTeens have been daring each other to do stupid things for centuries. But there was something transcendently asinine about eating colorful laundry pods—which are essentially poison—just because some strangers on the Internet might think it's funny.
16 | It's more expensive to live in Phoenix and Detroit now.
ShutterstockYou used to be able to buy a house in Detroit with whatever change you had in your wallet. But suddenly the cost of living in Kid Rock's hometown, and a bunch of other cities that used to be "cheap," have started rising.
17 | Toys "R" Us is gone.
ShutterstockThe world's biggest toy store filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2017, but it wasn't until this summer that stores started closing. Oh, and Charles P. Lazarus, the empire's founder and the guy who insisted that the "R" be written backward, died in Match. It was a bad year for all of us who don't want to grow up 'cause we're a Toys "R" Us kid.
18 | Romaine lettuce became dangerous.
If you think romaine lettuce is good for you, you still live in 2017. But those of us living in 2018 know it might be covered in E. coli. It's happened a lot this year: as of this writing, 52 people across 15 states have gotten sick from lettuce. (Plus, there have been 27 cases in Canada.) It's only been a good year for people who want an excuse to never eat salad.
19 | Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande broke up.
The Saturday Night Live star and "No Tears Left to Cry" singer had only just moved in together this summer. And now they're just over? And then Davidson was making jokes on stage, like, "Does anybody have any open rooms? Looking for a roommate?" If those two millionaires can't make it work, the rest of us are doomed. Thank you, 2018—next!
20 | People who play Fortnite are famous.
Image via epicgames.comTyler "Ninja" Blevins, a guy who plays Fortnite online, hit seven million YouTube subscribers in April, up from around a million since the beginning of the year. And all those followers tune in to watch him play a video game. Folks, what happened to playing the video game?
21 | Jimmy Dean issued a massive recall.
ShutterstockThe breakfast food manufacturer voluntarily recalled 29,000 pounds of sausages when, according to a news release, customers "found small, string-like fragments of metal in the product."
22 | Oprah got bad reviews for A Wrinkle In Time.
If there's one thing we've learned about Oprah over the years, it's that she's infallible. But 2018 dared to find a kink in her armor. This Oprah-starring movie barely broke even at the box office, and the reviews were, well, let's be kind and just say they were not kind. "The film has the feel of an iPad video pawned off on a toddler so Dad can make comforting mac and cheese," wrote a critic for the Guardian. Ouch!
23 | A city in China decided to build a second moon.
The local Chengdu government in Southwestern China estimates that it'll be eight times as bright as the regular moon, so there'll be no more need for streetlights. But seriously, isn't building your own moon right below "volcano lair" on a Bond villain's wish list?
24 | Combining kale juice and alcohol is now a thing.
Who takes something as beautifully simple and perfect as vodka and infuses it with kale? A masochist, that's who. Why must kale ruin everything?!
25 | ACT scores are the worst in decades.
ShutterstockThe Class of 2018 apparently aren't doing very well with their ACT college entrance exams. Their collective math scores are the lowest in 20 years. Marten Roorda, the chief executive officer of ACT, called the abysmal scores a "red flag for our country."
26 | Snapchat is now making TV shows.
The app you use to see yourself with dog ears is now creating original programming. As in actual scripted shows, including a "docuseries about the ‘cash me outside' girl Bringing Up Bhabie." We have no words.
27 | Overalls for men is a real thing that exists.
Vogue magazine claims the trend is "happening, big time." We're not going to argue with Vogue about fashion trends. Other than to say, "Please save us. Make it stop."
28 | We're running out of helium.
ShutterstockThe world supply of the stuff that makes your voice sound like a chipmunk is apparently running dangerously low. We now live in a world where news stories have titles like "National Helium Shortage Making Party Balloons Hard To Find" and aren't in The Onion.
29 | Half of the Marvel Universe characters have died (and they took Stan Lee with them).
If you haven't seen Avengers: Infinity War yet, please stop reading. If you have, then you already know that a depressing number of superheroes died in the movie. And that's was bad enough, but then Marvel Comics creator and icon (not to mention real-life human being) Stan Lee died. 2018 will be remembered as a year that killed both Stan the Man and Black Panther/Spider-Man/Doctor Strange/everybody in Guardians of the Galaxy, et al.
30 | Lil Tay was given a reality show.
Lil Tay, a 9-year-old YouTube star known for profanity-laced videos where she says things like "all y'all broke haters," has her own TV show now. And it's 2018's fault!
31 | Holiday travel is the worst in a decade.
54 million Americans hit the road this holiday season, at least according to a report from AAA. Our highways haven't been this crowded since 2005, and it's 2.5 million more people on the interstates since last year.
32 | There's now one Blockbuster left in the world.
ShutterstockTwo more Blockbusters closed in Alaska this summer, which means there is now only one store of the once wildly popular chain still in operation, in Bend, Oregon. And you can bet the new releases section has already been picked clean.
33 | The phrase "Dumpster fire" was added to dictionary
ShutterstockDefined as "an utterly calamitous or mismanaged situation or occurrence," 2018 is the year when "dumpster fire"—a two-word phrase that perfectly sums up the profound awfulness of, well, 2018—was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary.
34 | The Amazon rainforests are disappearing faster than ever.
ShutterstockRainforests trees are disappearing at the highest rate in a decade, with roughly 3,000 miles of land—or five times the size of London—getting leveled before July. Some blamed the logging industry, while some think Brazil's new president, Jair Bolsonaro, is at least partly responsible. The point is, 2018 is killing the rainforests.
35 | Diet Pepsi is sweetened with aspartame again.
Diet Pepsi changed their formula in 2015, replacing aspartame with the less-deadly sucralose and acesulfame potassium. But soda aficionados weren't happy, and they begged the company to return to their original formula. After some limited release sales of the "classic sweetener blend," Diet Pepsi is back to selling soda with all the allegedly cancer-causing aspartame that their customers demand.
36 | Health experts ruin vicarious fiction by proving James Bond is an alcoholic.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsAn Australian study that nobody asked for came to the conclusion this year that James Bond, the British Secret Service agent, has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the ‘severe' end of the spectrum." Listen, we already knew that, okay? We all know he's a high-functioning alcoholic. Was it really necessary to ruin all the books and movies by reminding us about 007's liver?
37 | Midterm voting wasn't smooth at all.
Voter intimidation, ballot recalls, voter purging, gerrymandering, four-hour-plus poll lines. Voting shouldn't be this hard!
38 | IHOP changed its name to IHOb
Why? Because as of 2018, they decided they were no longer the International House of Pancakes. Instead, they were the International House of Burgers. Predictably, the decision was savaged by Twitter mobs, and eventually IHOP tried claiming it was just a publicity stunt.
39 | Kanye West wore weirdly small flip-flops.
What makes it particularly troubling is that he designed them. Surely he can find a pair of Yeezy flip-flops in his size, right? He claimed that he was wearing them "the Japanese way," which makes things worse.
40 | Bootcut jeans are making a comeback.
We thought these fashion nightmares had gone the way of trucker hats and Ed Hardy shirts, but looks like the denim style that makes your legs look like Popeye's arms is back in style. As author Joe John Glenton asked Twitter, "Can't we opt to bring back something less horrific like cholera?"
41 | Pizza wedding bouquets were a thing.
villaitaliankitchen/instagramMaking a pledge to spend the rest of your life with a person is not the time or place to be eating pizza from their chest. 2018, get your priorities straight!
42 | California is on fire.
It's been the biggest and the deadliest wildfires in California history, with a collective 8,434 different fires burning across 1,890,438 acres.
43 | Seven new animals were added to the endangered species list.
The latest animals on the shortlist for extinction include the American eel, the Chinese cobra, and Pacific bluefin tuna.
44 | We lost John McCain and George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush.
ShutterstockSome true mavericks of the Republican party left us this year. May they rest in peace.
45 | There are cryptocurrency millionaires.
ShutterstockBitcoins used to be an underground fake currency that people used to buy drugs online. Now there are people claiming to be bitcoin millionaires. Isn't that like saying you're the richest person in a game of Monopoly?
46 | People made non-alcoholic whisky.
ShutterstockWe're honestly perplexed by this. There are people out there who want to taste hard liquor without the alcohol in it? We get non-alcoholic beer, and even non-alcoholic wine. But whisky? Are there pregnant women who just miss the burning sensation of doing shots? Well whatever, this exists now, and it's all because of 2018.
47 | Memes are in danger of being outlawed.
The European Union proposed some unusual legislation this year, pushing to enforce copyright laws on websites and social media platforms, which would essentially make it illegal for users to post images that infringe on a copyright—in other words, every meme ever created. If it passes, it means you won't be able to make a meme anymore using photos of celebrities, movies, or any other image for which you don't technically own the copyright.
48 | Cannabis is being prescribed for pets with anxiety.
ShutterstockWe're not kidding. If your dog or cat is too stressed out, there are CBD treats to help them chill out. What a world.
49 | Serena Williams lost Wimbledon.
The tennis champ was one victory away from tying Margaret Court's record of 24 Grand Slams. But she lost to Germany's Angelique Kerber. Williams promised she'd be back and "this is literally just the beginning," but it was still a sad day for tennis fans.
50 | Kathie Lee Gifford is leaving the Today show.
She's been a part of our morning routines since the mid-'80s. With her gone, "Winesday Wednesday" is just going to seem like sad day-drinking.
51 | Koko the Gorilla died.
Koko, the gorilla who learned sign language, has become an ubiquitous part of our culture, and proof that humans aren't the only animal capable of grasping language. Now that she's gone, we're left with a bunch of gorillas who don't even know how to sign, "I love you."
52 | Eagles' fans celebrated their first Super Bowl victory by rioting.
ShutterstockWe know what it's like to feel elation when your sports team wins a big championship. But that's no reason to trash your own town. Fans of the Philadelphia Eagles couldn't contain themselves when their team won their very first Super Bowl. They took to the streets, lighting fires and looting stores, and one video (which we'll not share) showed a jubilant fan eating police horse excrement. The Philadelphia Zoo took to Twitter to address rumors of "an alleged ostrich ride through the city last night." It never happened—or so they say.
53 | Toxic algae popped up in Florida.
An aggressive toxic algae, called a "red tide," has been killing marine life up and down a 150-mile stretch of the Gulf Coast, with some calling it the worst outbreak since 2006. As if Florida hasn't been through enough this year.
54 | Scientists want to build a big laser to guide aliens to Earth.
ShutterstockThese aren't crackpot scientists either. They're MIT scientists, the best of the best. And they think we should construct a huge laser beam so that extraterrestrials know where to find us. Just in case you were wondering how humanity will eventually be wiped out by alien invaders.
55 | Global carbon emissions are up again.
It looked like CO2 emissions were on a plateau for a few years, but then 2018 arrived and suddenly they're at an all-time high, rising a horrifying 2.7%,
56 | A flat-earther went to absurd lengths (and heights) to prove that the earth is flat.
ShutterstockIn March, a flat-earther named "Mad" Mike Hughes launched himself just under 1,900 feet in a homemade rocket to prove that our planet is not a globe. Through no fault of his own, he didn't die. And he proved nothing.
57 | The Catholic church is losing members.
ShutterstockAbuse allegations against the Catholic church are nothing new, but a 900-page grand jury report about abuse in Pennsylvania led to 13 states launching their own official investigations, and some of the faithful deciding it's time to move on.
58 | Hurricane Michael
Barreling across Florida, Georgia, and the Carolinas in October, it was the third strongest storm to ever leave a trail of destruction through the U.S. mainland.
59 | A guy made his own version of Star Wars: The Last Jedi "minus Girlz Powah."
Screenshot via YouTubeA lot of sexist Star Wars fans weren't happy with The Last Jedi, mostly because they thought the female characters were too strong and the men too weak, or something. Some guy online made his own 45-minute cut of the movie, which he uploaded to Pirate Bay and called "basically The Last Jedi minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff." It was, not surprisingly, awful.
60 | Americans lost a lot at the Winter Olympics.
ShutterstockIt wasn't a terrible Olympics for everyone, just Americans. Despite sending 242 Olympians to compete, we took home just 23 medals, and ended fourth place overall. Not the worst performance in Olympic history, but a far cry from Norway, who, despite having half as many competitors, walked away with 39 medals.
61 | Roseanne Barr returned to TV, had a huge hit, and then tweeted herself into cancellation.
ShutterstockIt all looked so promising for a while, but then Roseanne decided to tweet some things, and a lot of people thought those tweets were racist (probably because they were) and, as quickly as it had arrived, the new Roseanne was gone.
62 | They stopped making Dodge Vipers.
Perhaps this isn't exactly a tragedy, but we're still sad that Dodge won't be making any more if these ridiculous sports cars. Everything about them was so silly, from the zippable windows made from vinyl to the lack of exterior door handles and, of course, that insane engine. We'll miss you, Viper, and the middle-aged men who bought you because of midlife crisis.
63 | Netflix gave us a panic when they nearly dropped Friends.
ShutterstockThe streaming network announced it would no longer be including the popular sitcom by the end of the year, and people lost their marbles. But then Netflix said, "No, just kidding," or words to that effect, and assured us that Friends would be available "throughout 2019." And with one sleight of hand, Netflix made the world love them again. Netflix is like a James Bond villain, but craftier.
64 | Gritty became the Philadelphia Flyers' new mascot.
u/MRC1986What on earth is this thing supposed to be? The googly eyes alone are going to haunt us for the rest of our life. 2017 sure didn't have nightmarish mascots like this!
65 | Two words: Broccoli. Coffee.
ShutterstockStop it! No! Just no! You don't get to put broccoli in our coffee! J'accuse!
66 | The Doomsday Clock moved closer to midnight.
In 2017, the Doomsday Clock—created by the Science and Security Board to measure the likelihood of a man-made global catastrophe—was two-and-a-half minutes to midnight. In 2018, it moved up by 30 seconds, and we're now just two minutes to midnight, or the eventual destruction of all mankind. Nice job, 2018.
67 | Plane seats got smaller.
ShutterstockOn some airlines, it shrank by four inches. On Spirit and Frontier, it's down seven inches. Either the airlines are getting cheap or we're all getting chubbier. Both explanations are equally depressing.
68 | There was a Jimmy Buffett musical on Broadway.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsEscape to Margaritaville lasted less than four months, and received less than glowing notices. As a New York Times critic began his review, "If ever there were a time to be drunk in the theater, this is it."
69 | Space Force.
SpaceCorpsUS/twitterUm… okay. This sounds like a yet-to-be-produced screenplay written by a greedy movie exec who wants to cash in "on this whole Star Wars thing."
70 | Kevin Smith had a massive heart attack.
Granted, he didn't die, and the story ultimately has a happy ending, with the Clerks and Mallrats director losing a ton of weight and getting into the best shape of his life. But still, 2018 tried to kill Kevin Smith!
71 | There was another Florida recount.
ShutterstockSeriously? Haven't we been down this road before, Florida?
72 | Cardi B and Nicki Minaj got into a fight.
Two female rap icons belted it out over accusations of... bad parenting? Yeah, apparently Nicki made comments about Cardi B's daughter, Kulture, and the two fought it out at a Fashion Week party in New York, a scuffle that involved thrown footwear and Cardi B losing her wig. Rap battles aren't what they used to be.
73 | It stopped being okay to have a glass of wine.
ShutterstockWe were just getting comfortable with the idea that red wine in moderation could be heart healthy, thanks to antioxidants that prevent coronary artery disease. Well, here comes 2018 to tell us otherwise. A new study suggests that no amount of wine is okay. Great. Hope you all have fun ringing in the new year with seltzer water.
74 | A drunk Florida man chased shoppers with an alligator.
ShutterstockAt this point, we know it sounds like we're picking on Florida. But nobody was chased with an alligator in the other 49 states. And do you know how many people were chased with alligators in 2017? Zero. There were zero alligators used as weapons last year. In 2018, there's been at least one (that we know about).
75 | Some of our favorite restaurant chains are closing.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsThey're calling it "Restaurant apocalypse," with chains like Applebee's, Subway, IHOP, and Outback Steakhouse closing hundreds of restaurants. Thanks for nothing, farm-to-table movement!
76 | The last ever Howard Johnson's closed for good.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsIt was once the largest restaurant chain in the United States, with more than 1,000 locations. In 2018, there was just one left, in Lake George, New York, which sold this summer. Howard Johnson's became as extinct as Dodo birds in 2018!
77 | Flesh-eating STDs.
A woman in Southport, England was diagnosed this year with a rare STD called Donovanosis, which causes genital tissues to "effectively consume itself," according to Shamir Patel, a British pharmacist who spoke to U.K. reporters. It's a horrific STD that's mostly been seen in tropical countries like Papua New Guinea and KwaZulu-Natal, but now it's in England, which means it'll be heading our way soon.
78 | Sharks are killing people again.
ShutterstockMassachusetts had its first fatal shark attack in 82 years and the locals are worried that it will affect the tourism business. Wait, where have we heard this before? This sounds suspiciously like the plot to Jaws. Are we all living in a Steven Spielberg movie now?
79 | The most famous person on the Internet is a guy with a gigantic neck.
His name is Charles Dion McDowell and his mugshot, which featured his tremendously wide neck, made the Internet go crazy. More people have read about and have opinions of the big neck guy than who got the Pulitzer Prize this year for Fiction.
80 | Google removed the ‘view image' button in Google images.
Wikimedia CommonsYes, it was designed to make it more difficult for people to steal copyrighted images. But it's made searching the Internet for cool photos almost impossible. It's like everything is suddenly behind a glass partition.
81 | Big Bird left Sesame Street.
Caroll Spinney, who provided the voices of Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street for nearly half a century, retired this year. We're not crying, you're crying!
82 | Journalist are being targeted.
Image via YoutubeFrom Jamal Khashoggi to employees at Maryland's Capital Gazette, journalists have come under fire in 2018, both literally and figuratively. It was bad enough for Time Magazine to name targeted journalists their "Person(s) of the Year."
83 | Shark fins are "outlawed" in Formula 1 racing.
It's not so much that we have strong opinions on how shark fins contribute to a car's aerodynamic performance. We just think they look cool. And as of 2018, they've been "outlawed" in Formula1 racing. Seriously, that's the language they're using. Who's running Formula 1 these days, Boss Hogg?
84 | Roger the Brawny Kangaroo died.
He was the most famous kangaroo in the world, surviving despite almost insurmountable odds and with a totally envy-inducing physique, to boot. As of 2018, he is no more.
85 | Justin Timberlake's album was just ok.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsWe'll stop everything to dance and sing along when "SexyBack" comes on the radio, but his new album, Man of the Woods, is filled with songs that are… fine, we guess. We couldn't name one off the top of our head, or even hum a melody.
86 | People dipped chicken wings in gold.
We know the economy seems like it's doing okay, but that's no reason to pay $1,000 to eat chicken wings covered in liquid gold. Gold is not food, people, no matter what you've been hearing in 2018.
87 | Melissa McCarthy did a serial killer movie with puppets.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsOur favorite comedy actress has made some duds before, but nothing like The Happytime Murders, a movie about serial killers and puppets, which Rolling Stone called "a contender for worst of the decade."
88 | Montecito had a bunch of mudslides.
Actor Rob Lowe, who has a home in Montecito, describes the mudslides that devastated the area in January—which killed 21 people and covered homes and freeways with mud and debris—as pure bedlam. "Fires [were] everywhere, because gas lines were rupturing," he said. "It was like Armageddon."
89 | Orphan Black is gone and there's nothing to replace it.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsIt's rare that you get a TV show this challenging, one that rewards patience and curiosity and an adult attention span. Oh, and it also stars Tatiana Maslany, perhaps the greatest actress on earth, as a whopping eight totally individual and unique characters. 2017 took this beautiful series from us, and the lack of something on TV this intelligent in 2018 is glaring.
90 | There'll be no hot chocolate in Germany this Christmas.
One ton of chocolate spilled from the tank at a chocolate factory in western Germany and turned the road into a thick, delicious chocolate pavement. We want to offer our sincerest condolences, but everything we could say would only come out sounding like Üter, the German exchange student from The Simpsons.
91 | Sears is bankrupt.
ShutterstockIt was probably inevitable in this digital age, but learning that the massive retailer is bankrupt and will be closing hundreds of locations, including both Sears and Kmart stores, is like getting news that McDonald's is going out of business. How is that even possible in America? Don't people want cheap sweatpants anymore?
92 | Facebook is more hackable than ever.
ShutterstockThe biggest security breach in Facebook's history happened in September, and it took Zuckerberg's finest minds eleven days to stop it. They're still not sure who did it, how long they had access to 50 million users' information, or what they were after.
93 | The SpongeBob SquarePants creator died.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsFor many of us, Stephen Hillenburg was the Walt Disney of a generation. The world is a sadder place without him in it.
94 | A Harvard professor said you should have no more than six fries per serving.
ShutterstockWe can't tell whether to laugh or cry. Seriously? Just six French fries? That's like saying, "You're only allowed to laugh one day a month."
95 | The Steak-umm Twitter account got philosophical.
steak-umm/twitterThe social media account of a sliced meat product should be tweeting about, oh, we don't know, maybe slice meat products? Instead, they're pontificating about the disillusionment of modern teens. Young people are "crushed by student loan debt," they tweeted, "disenfranchised by past generations, and are dreading the future of our world every day from mass media addiction and the struggle to not just be happy, but to survive this chaotic time." That bit of wisdom comes from, again, Steak-umm.
96 | The family separation policy.
Image via Wikimedia CommonsNo matter where you stand on the political spectrum, it was hard to see images of mothers and children being pulled apart (to be separately caged up) at the nation's border. No two ways about it: this is one of the worst things that happened in 2018.
97 | Dr. William Shearer died.
Never heard of him? He was the doctor who famously treated the so-called "bubble boy," the kid confined to a plastic cocoon because of his faulty immune system.
98 | Everybody got a text from the White House.
ShutterstockAt 2:18 pm Eastern Time in early October, everybody in the U.S. (well, most of us) got an "emergency alert" text from President Trump. It was meant to "assess the operational readiness of the infrastructure for distribution of a national message." But it mostly just freaked everybody out.
99 | People are remembering A.D. 536 to feel better about 2018.
When historians try to lift our spirits by reminding us that a thousand-plus years ago, there was a "mystery cloud of doom" that made it the worst year to be alive on planet Earth, "so give 2018 a break," that actually says more about 2018 than it does the year 536.
100 | It's still not over!
After all of this, there are still few weeks left of this jerk of a year. Just end already, 2018! And for a (slightly more) positive spin on the year that was, check out these 50 Amazing Facts We Learned in 2018.
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