People often won't come right out and admit it when they find someone attractive. Instead, they try to play it cool—especially if they're not sure if the other person likes them, too. But it doesn't have to become a big guessing game. In fact, most of us subconsciously act differently around the people we're attracted to, and while many of the tells tend to be pretty obvious, others are less overt. Talking to therapists and relationship experts, we got the inside scoop on the subtle signs of attraction. Read on to find out what you should look out for if you want to know whether or not someone is into you.
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1 | They mirror you.
astarot / ShutterstockPeople mirror the behavior of those they find attractive, says Marley Howard, LMFT, a licensed therapist with over 12 years of experience. If you notice someone "subconsciously copying parts of your characteristics and habits," that's a subtle sign they're probably into you, she notes.
"If you are sitting with your legs crossed, they will cross their legs too. If you are standing with your arms crossed, they will do the same," Kerry Lauders, a relationship expert and mental health officer at Startups Anonymous, further explains. "This is their way of trying to show that they are in sync with you."
2 | They make a lot of eye contact.
iStock / Bobex-73If it seems like someone is working overtime to make eye contact, they're probably attracted to you, according to Sameera Sullivan, a relationship expert and matchmaker. "They do this out of curiosity about you, what you have to say, and a desire to feel closer to you," she explains. "Eye contact can create a powerful emotional connection."
They will also likely keep looking at you even if you end up breaking contact. "Their eyes will linger on you," Lauders says. "When someone is attracted to you, they will tend to stare at you for longer than normal. This is their way of trying to take in as much of you as possible."
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3 | They ask you questions.
Shutterstock / Rawpixel.comWe naturally appear more curious about the people we're attracted to because we're interested in getting to know them better. "If someone is asking you a lot of questions, it’s a clear sign that they want to learn more about you—and that they’re attracted to you," confirms Suman Kumar Kahni, a certified relationship expert and the co-owner of Moodfresher.
According to Kahni, questions are an important tool used in the dating field. "Asking questions creates a connection between two people and provides an opportunity to learn more about each other," he says. "This interaction can spark the interest of the other person and create a feeling of familiarity and interest."
4 | They remember what you've told them.
iStockIt's not just the questions themselves that can point to attraction, however. It's also the follow-up based on your answers. Taylor Remington, a therapist and the founder of Impact Recovery Center in Alabama, tells Best Life that when someone finds you attractive, they usually pay close attention to what you have to say. In other words, they're not just asking you questions, they're also listening.
"They will remember the details of what you tell them and use those details to start conversations or build deeper connections," Remington explains. "If someone is always listening intently when you speak, it could be a sign that they find you attractive."
Over time, you may notice just how much they have been listening based on different actions, according to Sandra Myers, a relationship expert and the co-founder of Select Date Society. "They may bring you your favorite candy bar because they remember you mentioning how much you like it. They remember your birthday or an important work deadline you were working on," Myers says. "When someone is attracted to you, they pay attention to your likes and dislikes and what is happening in your world."
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5 | They give your their time.
ShutterstockIf someone is spending a lot of time with or near you, it's a good sign. "Time is our most valuable resource because we have a limited amount of it. When someone chooses to spend their time with you, it can be a sign that they are attracted to you," Myers says. "They are drawn to your presence and how they feel when they are with you."
Make sure you also compare how much time and attention they devote specifically to you versus other people, advises Annie Garmendia, a lead matchmaker and managing partner for Cinqe Matchmaking. "It may indicate a deeper level of interest when the focus remains on getting to know who you are instead of just participating in general conversations."
But even if it's only a short amount of time, it could still be significant. "If it’s at work, the person may find reasons to bump into you, perhaps in the break room, or visit your desk and playfully interact with you," Orit Krug, a board-certified couples counselor and relationship expert, explains. "They may even offer to help you with a task just to spend extra time with you."
