30 Office-Friendly Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Score some laughs without running afoul of HR.

30 Office-Friendly Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Score some laughs without running afoul of HR.

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There are two possible things that could happen when you tell a joke at the workplace. One, everybody laughs and tells you you’re hilarious. That’s the best case scenario. The worst case is your joke offends a coworker, they report it to HR, and you get fired. That might be a long shot, but humor at the office is always a risky proposition. What might seem harmless to you could rub a colleague the wrong way.

As Toby Young, bestselling author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, once warned, cracking jokes around coworkers or even your boss “is a risk that simply isn’t worth taking. In almost every case, you’re flouting authority. And that is often punishable by dismissal.” Play it safe with these 30 jokes designed for an office environment. And for more PG-rated laughs, don’t miss the 75 Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Funny.

spy in the dark

1
Kid dreams

My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don’t think she’d be a good secret agent.

woman shocked on computer

2
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you!

You have my Word!

school bus

3
Blind Bus Driver

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

And for more silly jokes, don’t miss the 40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up.

red paint bucket and brush

4
What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Interview, casual

5
To err is human

To blame it on someone else shows management potential.

Woman and money, Bad Dating Marriage Tips

6
Mo Money, Mo Problems

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

And for more cheap chuckles, check out the 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.

talking to doctor about big boobs

7
Emergency contact

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor.”

car mechanic holding wrench

8
Speaking in tongues

I’ve never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.

mindfulness stressed out woman at desk yelling work

9
TGIF

Nothing ruins a Friday more than suddenly realizing it’s actually Tuesday.

finger painting

10
Child Picasso’s

I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.

simple math equation

11
Statistically speaking

Forty-two percent of statistics are made up.

propose

12
Life savings

I have all the money I’ll ever need—if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

Pick pocket

13
Two definitions of stealing

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

prison bars and hands

14
Hard time

Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.

cats are likely smarter than cats

15
Cats and dogs

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

Hipster at desk Life Easier

16
Drink more coffee

Why do I drink so much coffee? It helps me do stupid things faster and with more energy.

organized desk overlooking east river

17
You know what they say about a clean desk…

It’s a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

slang people over 30 won't get

18
Pick a lane

If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.

Harmless April Fool’s Pranks

19
Helium boss

I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice!

this is a trash person, Worst Dating Phrases

20
The breakup

My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.”

“Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that way.”

stop judging women over 40

21
Taking the boss literally

The boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

lightbulbs against a yellow background

22
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It’s a hardware problem.

hilarious words

23
Couch warrior

I’m here for whatever you need me to do from the couch.

woman doing math

24
Playing the numbers

What does a mathematician say when something goes wrong? Figures!

zookeeper

25
Zoo girlfriend

My new girlfriend works at the zoo. I think she’s a keeper.

Stressed out man

26
Working for the weekend

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

pickup truck

27
My pickup truck done left me

Thanks to self-driving cars, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too.

Woman Coughing in Bed

28
No coughing

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

genie lamp

29
Three wishes

A genie asked, “What’s your first wish?”

Steve answered, “I wish I was rich.”

The genie nodded and then said, “What’s your second wish, Rich?”

never say this at work

30
Middle age

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.

And for more laughs about aging, check out the 40 Best Jokes About Turning 40.

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