30 Office-Friendly Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Score some laughs without running afoul of HR.

30 Office-Friendly Jokes That Are Actually Funny
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There are two possible things that could happen when you tell a joke at the workplace. One, everybody laughs and tells you you’re hilarious. That’s the best case scenario. The worst case is your joke offends a coworker, they report it to HR, and you get fired. That might be a long shot, but humor at the office is always a risky proposition. What might seem harmless to you could rub a colleague the wrong way.

As Toby Young, bestselling author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, once warned, cracking jokes around coworkers or even your boss “is a risk that simply isn’t worth taking. In almost every case, you’re flouting authority. And that is often punishable by dismissal.” Play it safe with these 30 work appropriate jokes designed for an office environment. And for more PG-rated laughs that aren’t funny office jokes, don’t miss the 75 Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Funny.

1
Kid dreams

spy in the dark

My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don’t think she’d be a good secret agent.

2
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you!

woman shocked on computer

You have my Word!

3
Blind Bus Driver

school bus

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

And for more silly jokes, don’t miss the 40 Dumb Wordplay Jokes That Will Crack You Up.

4
What’s red and smells like blue paint?

red paint bucket and brush

Red paint.

5
To err is human

Interview, casual

To blame it on someone else shows management potential.

6
Mo Money, Mo Problems

Woman and money, Bad Dating Marriage Tips

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

And for more cheap chuckles that aren’t work jokes, check out the 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.

7
Emergency contact

talking to doctor about big boobs

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor.”

8
Speaking in tongues

car mechanic holding wrench

I’ve never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.

9
TGIF

mindfulness stressed out woman at desk yelling work

Nothing ruins a Friday more than suddenly realizing it’s actually Tuesday.

10
Child Picasso’s

finger painting

I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.

11
Statistically speaking

simple math equation

Forty-two percent of statistics are made up.

12
Life savings

propose

I have all the money I’ll ever need—if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

13
Two definitions of stealing

Pick pocket

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

14
Hard time

prison bars and hands

Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.

15
Cats and dogs

cats are likely smarter than cats

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

16
Drink more coffee

Hipster at desk Life Easier

Why do I drink so much coffee? It helps me do stupid things faster and with more energy.

17
You know what they say about a clean desk…

organized desk overlooking east river

It’s a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

18
Pick a lane

slang people over 30 won't get

If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.

19
Helium boss

Harmless April Fool's Pranks

I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice!

20
The breakup

this is a trash person, Worst Dating Phrases

My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.”

“Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that way.”

21
Taking the boss literally

stop judging women over 40

The boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

22
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

lightbulbs against a yellow background

None. It’s a hardware problem.

23
Couch warrior

hilarious words

I’m here for whatever you need me to do from the couch.

24
Playing the numbers

woman doing math

What does a mathematician say when something goes wrong? Figures!

25
Zoo girlfriend

zookeeper

My new girlfriend works at the zoo. I think she’s a keeper.

26
Working for the weekend

Stressed out man

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

27
My pickup truck done left me

pickup truck

Thanks to self-driving cars, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too.

28
No coughing

Woman Coughing in Bed

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

29
Three wishes

genie lamp

A genie asked, “What’s your first wish?”

Steve answered, “I wish I was rich.”

The genie nodded and then said, “What’s your second wish, Rich?”

30
Middle age

never say this at work

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.

And for more laughs about aging, check out the 40 Best Jokes About Turning 40.

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