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50 Lies Kids Say That Parents Always Fall For

Whether you've believed them or not, you've definitely heard these common lies kids tell.

daughter and father talking together
iStock

Turns out, your kids are probably so good at lying that they're even fooling you. A 2017 study published in the journal Law and Human Behavior found that adults are only able to identify when a kid is lying to them in 47 percent of instances. That means you're falling for the lies kids say more than half of the time!


Let's see if we can change that by breaking down some of the most common lies kids tell that parents can't help falling for. You might laugh at some of these, but there are bound to be one or two that make you realize, "Uh oh, I think they got me."

1 | "If we get a dog, I promise I'll take it for walks and feed it."

Bernese mountain dog playing with a childShutterstock

Always effective, and we always hope it's true. But we know how this turns out: Mom and Dad are the primary caretakers of this poor animal.

2 | "The school didn't send out report cards yet."

kids having a failing report card in handiStock

As every parent knows, report cards always seem to find a way to show up late. If only those schools could get their act together!

3 | "If you let me (blank), I'll never ask you for anything else ever again!"

kid asking parent mom a questionShutterstock

If I can get that in writing, and have it notarized by a lawyer, I'll totally believe you. Until then, I'll be awaiting your next request.

4 | "I need the money for books."

kids reading book while laying on the couchiStock

Yes, if by "books," you actually mean "candy" or "toys."

5 | "He started it!"

Little boys covered in baking ingredients during a messy baking sessioniStock

Nobody says this unless they've been caught red-handed and don't want to be take the rap alone. Odds are, whoever you're ratting out didn't start it—they're just a co-conspirator.

6 | "I think I'm too sick to go to school today."

father with sick childShutterstock

No actual sick person says this. If you're feverish or nauseated, you don't have time for indecisive pondering. You just want to be left alone to moan in the dark.

7 | "Dad said I could."

small child talking to mom in front of schooliStock

Was Dad looking at his phone when he said that? Yeah, here's the truth: Dad didn't hear a word you said.

8 | "I'm fine."

prants lecturing childShutterstock

It's not the denial, it's how the denial is said—with folded arms, a big frown, a furrowed brow, and an expression that practically screams, "I am so mad right now."

9 | "My phone died."

One thing we know for sure: Your most beloved gadget on earth is never, ever dead.

10 | "The party is chaperoned."

kids having birthday toast with no parentsiStock

You do realize that a "chaperone" means a grown-up and not just a friend, right?

11 | "I was late getting home because of traffic."

bumper to bumper traffic in brazilShutterstock

Nothing worse than getting stuck in midnight rush-hour gridlock. Oh wait, that doesn't happen.

12 | "Of course I ate the lunch you packed."

mother packing lunch for her childiStock

Sorry, but they definitely ditched the celery for some chips out of the vending machine.

13 | "I didn't block you on Facebook. That must be a mistake."

facebook app sign inShutterstock

Congratulations on being the first person under 18 to be confounded by how social media privacy settings work.

14 | "I'll be super careful with the car!"

taking pictures of rental cars for records is a stress free travel secretShutterstock

Just hearing this one gives us chills.

15 | "I have no idea how the car got damaged. Maybe somebody hit it when I was parked."

teenage kid calling his mom after getting in a car accidentiStock

Oh sure, it's entirely plausible that you wouldn't have noticed the back bumper was dragging against the pavement, making a loud screeching noise, until the next day.

16 | "I'm just going to play this video game for two more minutes."

two kids sitting and playing video games by the couchiStock

We believe it was Albert Einstein who once said, "the dividing line between past, present, and future is an illusion." In other words, you have no intention of turning off that video game in two minutes because time is meaningless—and also, we are not that naïve.

17 | "I've never tasted beer."

Beers Over Ice - best bar jokesShutterstock

No, we're not laughing at you—we're laughing at our past selves who thought this was a believable lie when we were teenagers.

18 | "I would never pour bacon grease down the kitchen drain."

...says the young person who literally just poured bacon grease down the kitchen drain.

19 | "I forgot."

boy covers face in embarrassment in school hallwayShutterstock

No, you didn't. When you're older and you're juggling too many responsibilities and your brain is overloaded with stress, you can say, "I forgot." As a kid, the best you can claim is, "Whatever you told me wasn't as interesting as video games."

20 | "The teacher didn't give us homework tonight."

Black teacher smiling and teaching older studentsShutterstock

Unless your teacher is going on strike tomorrow, sorry, we're having a hard time believing it.

21 | "He's not a boyfriend, he's just a friend."

teenage couple sitting on the couch togetheriStock

Uh-huh. You're not fooling us, kiddo.

22 | "When you close the door, I'm going straight to sleep."

girl reading in dark outdated life lessonsShutterstock

Works for us. No way you're hiding your phone under the blanket. But be forewarned, we have eyes everywhere.

23 | "I'll do it tomorrow."

teenage girl lying on the sofa while on her phoneiStock

Sure you will. We'll see about that tomorrow.

24 | "I didn't start the fight, I was breaking it up."

three siblings fighting over a remoteiStock

Of course you were. As Mahatma Gandhi once said—we're paraphrasing—"Be the change you wish to see in the world… with lots of shoving."

25 | "Of course I'm saving my allowance."

young girl counting the coins of her allowanceiStock

You know, buying all the candy is not considered an investment strategy.

26 | "I'm at the library doing homework."

teenage kids playing a round of cardsiStock

Oh, really? The library is playing more EDM in the background than we remember.

27 | "Of course I'll wear that sweater you bought for me."

white teenage girl looking annoyed in sweateriStock

We all know that, best case scenario, that sweater is going stay in your closet until it decomposes.

28 | "I didn't lock my door. Maybe you didn't pull hard enough."

woman reaching for door handleiStock

Yes, we swear we didn't hear it slam, too.

29 | "It's a clip-on nose ring."

teenage girl getting nose ringiStock

So, you won't mind if I give it a tug?

30 | "I took the chicken out of the freezer when you told me."

chicken breast in freezeriStock

How strange that it's still rock solid, then. Hmm.

31 | "I always drive the speed limit."

teenage girl driver smiling and getting handed the car keys from her momiStock

OK, then explain why our neighbors called us to say that someone resembling you, driving a car resembling ours, was drag-racing down the street.

32 | "I love our family vacations."

white teenage girl bored in the backseat with headphones on a road tripiStock

We know you would rather be anywhere else with your friends—you don't have spare our feelings.

33 | "I didn't order that. The cable company must've made a mistake."

teen friends watching something shocking on tv in the darkiStock

Funny how the cable company keeps making that same mistake to homes with young fans of pay-per-view wrestling. Such an inexplicable coincidence!

34 | "I was up late studying."

teenage girl on her mobile phone while laying in bediStock

Texting is not studying, sad to say.

35 | "I need an extra $20 for gas."

photo of a twenty dollar bill in a change purseiStock

That gas tank always seems to be running on empty these days.

36 | "I got you a gift, it just hasn't shown up yet."

white teen boy looking nervous and pointing in the other directioniStock

Maybe that's what you needed the $20 for!

37 | "I never got your text."

teenage boy on his phoneiStock

So weird! Especially when your phone always receives the texts from your friends!

38 | "I just cleaned my room. Somebody else must've come in and messed it up."

kid laying on his bed in a messy roomiStock

I've heard that our town was being terrorized by a bandit who breaks into homes just to cover bedrooms with toys and unmake beds. I can't believe it happened to us! Hold on, I'll call 9-1-1.

39 | "I already brushed my teeth."

young kid brushing his teeth with toothbrushiStock

Get back in there, we don't believe you.

40 | "I'm listening."

little girl on her phone with father in backgroundiStock

I'm sure you are. And whatever I'm saying sounds to you like the mangled trumpet of a Charlie Brown parent.

41 | "I’m pretty sure the movie’s PG-13."

scared girls watching horror movie on tviStock

Zombie Death Carnival—remind me: is that a Disney release?

42 | "But I did study my hardest!"

teenager in a group studying with booksiStock

Naturally, "studying your hardest" in this context means borrowing a better prepared friend’s flash cards and cracking open the textbook an hour before the exam.

43 | "I definitely didn’t eat that."

boy eating a cookie in the kitcheniStock

Ah, so mice made that fork-shaped hole in your sister's birthday cake?

44 | "My friend’s parents always let them."

three teenagers watching tv togetheriStock

Of course your friend’s parents let them stay up all night long! You don't mind if we ask them, do you?

45 | "I don’t have to use the bathroom."

father getting his kids ready for a road tripiStock

Until we've been on the road for 15 minutes and there are no rest stops in sight, right?

46 | "I’ll be home before curfew."

woman checking her watch on her wristiStock

Clearly, it was my mistake not asking whose curfew you’d be home by.

47 | "I’m not embarrassed by you guys."

daughter hugging her mom after getting dropped offiStock

Sure, you’re not embarrassed by us—it’s just our clothes, friends, family photos, house, and the fact that we still say "I love you" when we drop you off at school.

48 | "I’m not tired."

tired boy eating cereal in the morningiStock

Well-rested kids are notorious for practically nodding off in their cereal.

49 | "I never cut class."

video gamesShutterstock

You must have had a lot of back-to-back free periods to spend the whole day playing Fortnite!

50 | "I don’t care."

teen talking to mom DaughterShutterstock

Ah, that practiced apathy. Just a warning, though: If you really don’t care, we’re going to make those decisions about where to eat for dinner, what clothes you’re getting for school, and where you apply to college. What’s that sound? A change of tune, perhaps? Let's work it out together.

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