The 20 Funniest Tweets About Being a Mom

Move over, dad jokes.

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Nobody's denying the beauty of motherhood. Unfortunately, it can't all be Pinterest-ready parties and perfectly-decorated Christmas trees. There's also a lot of driving. And cleaning. And convincing people to eat. Basically, there's a lot of running around from sunrise to sunset and fruitless praying for a single moment of quiet solitude.

The chaotic nature of parenting lends itself to broad humor, which is to say you don't have to be a mom to think these tweets are funny. You don't even have to be a parent—all you need is a sense of humor. But if you are a parent, here are 40 Parenting Hacks for Raising an Amazing Kid.

1
On Audience Participation

School play funny mom tweets

You might not find a Thanksgiving pageant particularly entertaining, but you can't deny the hilarity of these 50 Jokes From Children That Are Crazy Funny.

2
On Cleaning House

Cleaning funny mom tweets

With children comes an abundance of stuff. If the idea of making space for abandoned dreams speaks to you, check out these 40 Genius Ways to Be More Organized After 40.

3
On Scheduling

Chrissy Teigen funny mom tweets

You've got to hand it to Chrissy Teigen for keeping it real. When it comes to motherhood, she's the master of social media. For proof, check out Chrissy Teigen's 30 Funniest Social Media Moments.

4
On Growing Pains

Annoying toys funny mom tweets

Once they can reach the top shelf, your hiding tactics have to get exponentially stealthier. And for more chances to laugh, check out the 30 Funniest Jokes from Parks and Recreation!

5
On Maximizing Your Time

Boiled eggs funny mom tweets

30 minutes spent boiling eggs is 30 minutes you can never get back. And when you want to spend less time on your own domestic duties, discover the 20 Genius House-Cleaning Tricks That Will Blow Your Mind!

6
On Screen Time

Scree time funny mom tweets

A little screen time probably never hurt anybody. And when you want to be a better parent, start with the 40 Parenting Hacks for Raising an Amazing Kid!

7
On Being On-Call

Snacks funny mom tweets

And after that, they'd probably say they're bored. If this feels a little too real, here are The Best Ways to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids.

8
On Being Prepared

Imposter syndrome funny mom tweets

No matter how prepared you are, parenting is a "make it up as you go" kind of a job. If you feel like your day job is holding back, here are 6 Secret Weapons for Turning the Job You Have Into the Job You Want.

9
On the Gig Economy

Uber driver funny mom tweets

On the bright side, by the time your kids can drive, you will be an extremely accomplished chauffeur.

10
On Dreams

Tired funny mom tweets

And this mom's dream might come true in another decade or so. And for more silly humor, check out the 75 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny!

11
On Life's Little Victories

Dentist funny mom tweets

At least this mom is raising honest kids.

12
On Looking Good

Sweatpants funny mom tweets

The trick is to hover for as long as possible in the grey zone between making an effort and absolutely not caring at all.

13
On Trickery

Harmonica funny mom tweets

Whoever gave that child a harmonica is off the Christmas card list.

14
On Tackling Complex Roles

Mary Poppins funny mom tweets

Being a mom requires you to wear many hats. In this case, a big white one, and a bat mask.

15
On Creepy Kids

Lying funny mom tweets

Do you ever wonder what terrifying things kids would say if they were actually trying to be creepy?

16
On Knowing Best

Day of the week funny mom tweets

It's amazing how much you can get away with while also having no idea what's going on.

17
On Interior Decorating

Kid art funny mom tweets

Sorry. It's not your home anymore. It's a children's arts & crafts museum.

18
On Listening

Head removal funny mom tweets

The one time you don't pay absolute attention to your child will be the time they pull their own head off.

19
On Setting Examples

Hungry funny mom tweets

And once the children are asleep, it's ice cream for dinner for the grown-ups.

20
On Parental Pride

Overalls funny mom tweets

We can't all be rocket scientists. Somebody has to entertain the world with bad jokes. And there's plenty more where that came from. Check out 50 Puns So Bad They're Actually Funny.

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