The 20 Funniest Tweets About Being a Mom

Move over, dad jokes.

The 20 Funniest Tweets About Being a Mom

Move over, dad jokes.

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Nobody’s denying the beauty of motherhood. Unfortunately, it can’t all be Pinterest-ready parties and perfectly-decorated Christmas trees. There’s also a lot of driving. And cleaning. And convincing people to eat. Basically, there’s a lot of running around from sunrise to sunset and fruitless praying for a single moment of quiet solitude.

The chaotic nature of parenting lends itself to broad humor, which is to say you don’t have to be a mom to think these tweets are funny. You don’t even have to be a parent—all you need is a sense of humor. But if you are a parent, here are 40 Parenting Hacks for Raising an Amazing Kid.

School play funny mom tweets

1
On Audience Participation

You might not find a Thanksgiving pageant particularly entertaining, but you can’t deny the hilarity of these 50 Jokes From Children That Are Crazy Funny.

Cleaning funny mom tweets

2
On Cleaning House

With children comes an abundance of stuff. If the idea of making space for abandoned dreams speaks to you, check out these 40 Genius Ways to Be More Organized After 40.

Chrissy Teigen funny mom tweets

3
On Scheduling

You’ve got to hand it to Chrissy Teigen for keeping it real. When it comes to motherhood, she’s the master of social media. For proof, check out Chrissy Teigen’s 30 Funniest Social Media Moments.

Annoying toys funny mom tweets

4
On Growing Pains

Once they can reach the top shelf, your hiding tactics have to get exponentially stealthier. And for more chances to laugh, check out the 30 Funniest Jokes from Parks and Recreation!

Boiled eggs funny mom tweets

5
On Maximizing Your Time

30 minutes spent boiling eggs is 30 minutes you can never get back. And when you want to spend less time on your own domestic duties, discover the 20 Genius House-Cleaning Tricks That Will Blow Your Mind!

Scree time funny mom tweets

6
On Screen Time

A little screen time probably never hurt anybody. And when you want to be a better parent, start with the 40 Parenting Hacks for Raising an Amazing Kid!

Snacks funny mom tweets

7
On Being On-Call

And after that, they’d probably say they’re bored. If this feels a little too real, here are The Best Ways to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids.

Imposter syndrome funny mom tweets

8
On Being Prepared

No matter how prepared you are, parenting is a “make it up as you go” kind of a job. If you feel like your day job is holding back, here are 6 Secret Weapons for Turning the Job You Have Into the Job You Want.

Uber driver funny mom tweets

9
On the Gig Economy

On the bright side, by the time your kids can drive, you will be an extremely accomplished chauffeur.

Tired funny mom tweets

10
On Dreams

And this mom’s dream might come true in another decade or so. And for more silly humor, check out the 75 Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Actually Funny!

Dentist funny mom tweets

11
On Life’s Little Victories

At least this mom is raising honest kids.

Sweatpants funny mom tweets

12
On Looking Good

The trick is to hover for as long as possible in the grey zone between making an effort and absolutely not caring at all.

Harmonica funny mom tweets

13
On Trickery

Whoever gave that child a harmonica is off the Christmas card list.

Mary Poppins funny mom tweets

14
On Tackling Complex Roles

Being a mom requires you to wear many hats. In this case, a big white one, and a bat mask.

Lying funny mom tweets

15
On Creepy Kids

Do you ever wonder what terrifying things kids would say if they were actually trying to be creepy?

Day of the week funny mom tweets

16
On Knowing Best

It’s amazing how much you can get away with while also having no idea what’s going on.

Kid art funny mom tweets

17
On Interior Decorating

Sorry. It’s not your home anymore. It’s a children’s arts & crafts museum.

Head removal funny mom tweets

18
On Listening

The one time you don’t pay absolute attention to your child will be the time they pull their own head off.

Hungry funny mom tweets

19
On Setting Examples

And once the children are asleep, it’s ice cream for dinner for the grown-ups.

Overalls funny mom tweets

20
On Parental Pride

We can’t all be rocket scientists. Somebody has to entertain the world with bad jokes. And there’s plenty more where that came from. Check out 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Funny.

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