How do you know if she likes you? In a perfect world, she would tell you. But we don't live in a perfect world. We live in a place where feelings get buried or at least obscured. When they do surface, it's often too little or not enough; too late or totally premature. But before we start feeling sorry for ourselves, it's important to remember that while we may not get the kind of confirmation we want, we can collect the hints left behind. Below, we're talking about how to know if a girl likes you. Read on to discover which signs to look for.
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12 Signs She Likes You
People express admiration and affection in all sorts of ways, and many of them are nonverbal. Below, we dissect certain actions and invite experts to weigh in on which may be considered significant, and why.
1. She's eager to spend quality time with you.
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There's hanging out, and then there's really hanging out. The difference isn't all that subtle. One scenario involves a group of people, and the other is limited to just you and her. If she keeps pushing to spend time with you and only you, then you can walk away with some confidence in how she feels about you.
"When someone has romantic and sexual interest towards you, they’ll want to spend alone time with you," says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, an award-winning researcher and sex and relationship coach.
"Communicating that you want to spend one-on-one time with your romantic interest and planning the date is a powerful way to develop a stronger bond and relationship," she adds.
2. She initiates touch and physical contact.
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Open body language remains one of the most obvious signs that she's interested in you. "When you like someone, you tend to touch them often in order to escalate the level of intimacy in that relationship," says Suwinyattichaiporn, who also goes by Dr. Tara.
And she's not the only one out there with this opinion. In a 2015 study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, researchers looked to certain body language cues—like palming and leaning forward while speaking—to confirm a romantic attraction among participants.
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3. She makes and holds eye contact.
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Of course, physical touch isn't the only way women might express their interest. The authors of the study also underscored that different people have different flirting styles. While some individuals lean on physicality to express their feelings, others prefer a more subtle approach.
Eye contact remains a popular pick for folks who aren't totally comfortable being more "hands-on." And the more of it that takes place, the more likely it is that she's trying to take things to the next level.
"Prolonged eye contact usually communicates your desire to develop the relationship further with that person," says Dr. Tara.
4. She reaches out often and responds to texts quickly.
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This one is pretty black and white. "If they left you on read for a few days without a good reason ... then they’re not that into you and it’s not worth your time," says Dr. Tara.
Someone who is interested will make it obvious in how they respond to your efforts. Dr. Tara asserts that a person in this position will respond both timely and affectionately.
"Their text messages would express care and interest like indicating they’re thinking of you or asking how your day was," she says. "They would respond to phone calls with enthusiasm."
That said, it is important to take different personalities into account here. Some people do better in person than over the phone. That doesn't mean they aren't interested, it just means you two have different communication styles.
If you would like to hear more from them over the phone, just ask. "Communicating your desires authentically can work wonders," says Dr. Tara.
5. She wants you to meet her friends.
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If she wants you to meet her other friends, then it's likely she's talking to them about you with some frequency—and that's always a good sign.
"Introducing your date to your social networks is an important step in developing a romantic relationship," says Dr. Tara.
For those who may be worried about the implications of being brought into a more platonic space, rest easy. According to Dr. Tara, women generally bring potential partners around their friends more often than men do.
If you're looking for some reassurance that she really is into you, then pay attention to the other nonverbal clues she may be throwing around. Is she touching you a lot? Holding your hand? Maintaining eye contact? If so, consider it a good sign.
6. She's interested in things you like.
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Either she's bored and desperate for new hobbies, or she's actually trying to take an interest in things you're passionate about. And if that's the case, then it's a pretty good indicator that she feels some sort of way about you.
"People don’t usually put in that kind of effort unless they really want to date you," says Dr. Tara. However, she suggests taking the time to see if it's a genuine move. More shallow efforts could be a sign of manipulation.
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7. She knows things about you that you haven't told her.
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With things moving increasingly online, it's hard to believe that there was ever a time we couldn't simply Google someone we wanted to know more about—especially if that person happens to be a romantic interest.
If she's taken the time to see what information she can gather about you online, then consider it a form of flattery. Within reason, of course. We're talking about things like a birthday party or that trip to Mexico—not your social security information or other things that should remain private.
8. She remembers things you've said in previous conversations.
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They say it's the little things that count, and it might be true. Holding on to information shared during intimate conversations—even things you may have forgotten about yourself—shows she's making an effort. And according to Dr. Tara, that's "definitely" a sign she's into you.
"It’s also a great quality in a romantic partner," she adds.
9. She laughs at even your dumbest jokes.
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If she's laughing at even your dumbest jokes, consider it her way of trying to make you feel good about yourself, which is great to see in someone you're thinking about pursuing romantically. And if the jokes are really bad and she's still laughing, then yeah. It's official: She's flirting with you.
10. She gives you her undivided attention.
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Paying attention to someone isn't always as easy as it sounds. With the number of distractions surrounding us, it can be difficult to stay focused on one thing—even if that one thing is you. If she demonstrates a willingness to hold it together, consider it a good sign. According to Dr. Tara, it's indicative of "intentional romantic interest."
11. She wants to know about your dating life.
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Asking about your relationship status isn't always an indication of attraction, but it could be significant if paired with some of the other signs on this list. Wanting to know if you're available is a valid first step to take. If you are actively pursuing other girls, then you should probably let her know before things go any further. There's no use in wasting anybody's time.
12. She tosses out the idea of being a couple.
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We all have ways of feeling things out, and this may be hers. Teasing the idea of being a couple is a playful way of letting you know she's open to the possibility. It's also a low-risk way for her to gauge your interest in the idea. If you are trying to strike up a romantic relationship with this person, then be mindful of how you respond. It could impact the way things progress between you two.
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Why Context Matters
The actions outlined above are generally good indicators of attraction, especially when performed together. But it's important to remember that's not always the case.
People express themselves in different ways. Some people value physical touch, even platonically. Others simply like to maintain eye contact. Paying attention to context and intention is an important part of deciphering whether or not a girl really does like you.
If you are picking up on some clues that she might be interested but are still unsure about things, it's probably best to talk things through. Presumptions can backfire pretty quickly in these situations. And you don't want to put either one of you in a position where you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
FAQ
How can you tell if a girl likes you or is just being nice?
It's easy to blur the lines between being friendly and being interested. While things like physical touch and frequent communication can indicate a romantic attraction, that isn't always the case. Take a step back and see if these actions come coupled with other signs she likes you, like taking an interest in your personal life or wanting to spend time together one-on-one.
How can you flirt without being cringy?
Flirting doesn't have to be painful. If you want to communicate your interest in a woman without making her cringe, try to be somewhat subtle. Give her compliments that seem genuine and don't overdo it. Make some physical contact, while still respecting her personal space. Be attentive, but don't ignore everything else going on around you.
Wrapping Up
That's it for our tips on how to tell if a girl likes you, but be sure to check back in with us soon for more relationship advice! You can also sign up for our newsletter to enjoy similar kinds of content, as well as hit pieces on health, entertainment, and travel.
