6 Reasons to Hire a Dating Coach in 2024—And How to Find One
You can't buy love—but you can buy great dating advice.
Ask just about anyone in the dating game, and they'll tell you that it's hard out there for singles in 2024. According to a recent article published by The Cut, horror stories from this "increasingly hellish dating landscape" are only getting worse. It's not uncommon to hear tales of schemers, scammers, and even stalkers infiltrating the dating pool to disastrous—and sometimes disturbing—results. Some singles find the scene so discouraging that they've sworn off dating entirely.
However, before you give up on finding fruitful connections, there may be one last hail mary to try: hiring a dating coach. Experts say that a good coach can offer the leg up you need to find that special someone, and importantly, they can also help you grow your dating skills and self-awareness, ultimately making you a better partner if you do couple up.
Wondering if a dating coach might be able to help you find the love of your life? These are the six reasons to hire a dating coach in 2024, as well as some tips on how to find the right one.
RELATED: 7 Expert Tips for Creating the Best Dating Profile.
The Biggest Challenges in Dating
A big part of winning the game of love is understanding the playing field. Experts say this means recognizing the roadblocks standing between you and the relationship you desire.
Dating coach Nicole Moore says one of the biggest challenges she sees in modern dating is finding someone who truly wants a commitment. She explains that dating app culture has trained some daters to always look for the next great thing, making it difficult for individuals who want more than a fling.
"Another big challenge of modern dating is that people are generally exhausted by their everyday lives, so the idea of going out on many dates and not finding a connection can feel extremely daunting," Moore tells Best Life. "Many people are simply too tired to go on a lot of dates. They would love to find 'the one,' but they feel exhausted by the effort of trying to find them."
Finally, with the proliferation of AI, filters, and scams, many people feel it's hard to tell who is genuine these days, Moore adds. This is not only a problem when it comes to finding love—it's also a safety concern.
RELATED: 11 Expert Tips for Dating After Divorce.
What Can a Dating Coach Do for You?
A good dating coach will tailor their services to your personalized needs and goals. "This can be anything from learning how to date, overcoming dating fears, or finding someone to be in a committed relationship with," Moore says.
"A dating coach may review a client's dating profile and provide tips on how to maximize it to attract the kind of people they want to be dating, help a client identify their fears and triggers around dating and heal them, help clients communicate with dates or partners in a more loving way, or help clients decide if someone is the right match for them," she explains.
Additionally, she says a truly great dating coach not only helps with developing dating tactics but also helps clients do the inner work that will help them grow into better potential partners.
"This includes boosting confidence, helping clients show up as their most authentic self in dating, and helping clients identify and work through any patterns that have caused their love life not to work in the past so they can create a way better result," she says.
Nash Wright, a dating coach with over 10 years of specialized experience in working with male daters, adds that it's also important to help clients examine their own attitudes.
"A lot of men have unattractive ideas about themselves, about women, and about dating. A good coach can help clean up those limiting ideas and provide healthier ideas that can help think differently about dating and to move forward," Wright says.
RELATED: How Long Should You Wait to Text After a First Date? Experts Weigh In.
6 Reasons to Hire a Dating Coach in 2024
There are plenty of reasons you might decide to seek professional help when it comes to your love life. These are the top six, according to dating coaches themselves.
1. You find dating more frustrating than fulfilling.
The first step in deciding whether to hire a dating coach is to take a step back and pay attention to how dating makes you feel.
"If you have been trying to date for years and find the journey frustrating (rather than fulfilling)," you might benefit from professional guidance, says Noah Heymann, a dating and relationship coach for DateCoach.com.
2. Dating brings out a side of you that you don't like.
When you date, emotions tend to run high. If you find that this brings out a side of you that's unconducive to a healthy relationship, a coach may be able to help you address those concerns. A therapist can also help you tackle any underlying emotional issues.
"If you're a person that can veer towards becoming super attached to people you're dating in an unhealthy way, or you become overly anxious or controlling during the dating process, having a dating coach to act as an intermediary between you and your dates to help you break the patterns before you project them onto others will be highly beneficial," Moore explains.
She adds that if you feel "easily triggered, fearful, or insecure when it comes to dating," this may also signal that a dating coach could be right for you.
3. You're struggling to keep up with modern dating trends.
Many people feel out of place in today's dating world—especially people who have re-entered the dating pool after a long period of inactivity or after ending a long-term relationship.
"If you want love but you've been single for a very long time and you feel scared of dating or like you don't know how to navigate the new dating world, calling a dating coach would be a great idea," Moore says.
4. What you're doing just isn't working.
If your dating habits look good on paper but don't amount to anything meaningful, this is another indication that a dating coach could help you.
"Someone might benefit from a dating coach if they're taking all the right actions like going out to meet people—going on dating apps and asking to be set up by friends—but none of their efforts are resulting in them finding the right person," says Moore. "In this scenario, there are often inner blocks to work through before that person can find true love, and working with a dating coach is a great way to do that."
5. You go on very few first dates.
Another common problem is that the numbers simply aren't working in your favor. Wright says he sees this often among his client base of male daters seeking connections with women.
"One reason why a man would want to work with a good coach is he just isn't dating enough," Wright says. "I would suggest single men should aim to date at least one new woman a month. One new woman a month—or dating at least twelve new women a year—should allow him to learn and grow, to get better at dating. It takes practice. If a man isn't finding that kind of opportunity, a coach might help inspire him to do more."
Of course, this formula applies to all genders.
6. You recognize a pattern, but you don't know how to break it.
Finally, Wright says another common situation in which a dating coach is helpful is when someone repeatedly encounters the same problems in their dating life.
For instance, if you can get first dates but not progress past that point, if you struggle to initiate intimacy, or if you notice your confidence drops when you transition from digital to in-person communications, these are all good signs that a coach could help you identify and remedy a harmful cycle.
RELATED: The 25 Questions You Should Never Ask on a First Date.
How to Find a Good Dating Coach
Connecting with the right dating coach is not unlike the dating process itself. Here's how to begin your search and ensure you maximize your investment.
Browse Instagram, YouTube, and podcasts.
Finding the right dating coach is not unlike finding a partner in that you'll need to gather information and assess compatibility.
"Finding a good dating coach should be quite simple with technology, but to ensure you are finding the right dating coach for you, look in places where you can see them in action, such as YouTube and podcasts," recommends Sam Morris, a healthy sex and relationship coach with over 10 years of experience.
Moore agrees that YouTube is a great place to start when you want to hire a good dating coach. You can find video content from a wide range of coaches and narrow your search to those who really resonate with you.
"Many dating coaches who are featured in news articles and publications have been vetted, and they are true experts, so finding dating coaches by searching for dating-related articles is another great idea," Moore adds.
Finally, Heymann notes that nearly all dating coaches have an Instagram account where you can get a sense of their style and expertise.
"You may want to choose one who offers a free intro session to be confident that your romantic goals and circumstances and their methods align," he notes.
Look for someone who understands dating technology.
Today, tech-savvy daters are often more successful—meaning your dating coach should be able to guide you through the intricacies of digital dating platforms and tools.
"If you plan to pursue online dating, be sure to choose a coach who is not merely sharing their opinion but is deeply versed in the data of what apps, profiles, photos, and messages are most likely to lead to love and able to impart these in a way you can digest and use," says Heymann.
Make sure their credentials are up to snuff.
Of course, dating isn't all about the apps. There are also some old-school qualifications that you should look for in a coach.
"It can be harder than ever to find a good dating coach because anyone can go and be 'certified' for around $30," says Morris. "My advice is to look for people who have a degree around human behavior and have at least five years experience working with people on a one-to-one basis. This doesn't need to be in their own business, but people who have experience, know how to talk to clients, which makes them the best coaches."
