What To Do If Your Wife Wants to Boycott Valentine’s Day

Yes, it could be a trap.

What To Do If Your Wife Wants to Boycott Valentine’s Day

Yes, it could be a trap.

If you’re wife says she wants to boycott Valentine’s Day, one of two things is going on: She is either bored with your Valentine’s Day routine (card, dinner, chocolates, and obligatory sex), or she’s against the notion that the celebration of romance requires a special day. Regardless, you should respect her wishes, and at the same time, plan something extraordinary anyway.

Here’s what to say: “If you really mean it, then I’ll respect your decision to skip Valentine’s Day. It’s not the day that matters as much as taking time to appreciate what we have. What if we set aside another evening just for us?”

Then have a few ideas at the ready: Call her favorite restaurant and ask the head chef to pay a house call; sign up for a wine-tasting class; or whisk her away on a weekend ski-and-spa trip. (For inspiration, check out our list of the 20 Cities You Need to See Before You Die.)

One last bit of advice: When February 14 rolls around, write “I love you” on a Post-it note and stick it to the bathroom mirror before she wakes up.

In my experience, even if a woman believes that Valentine’s Day is a capitalistic sham invented by the greeting-card industry to squeeze an extra dime out of whipped men, she’ll still appreciate some acknowledgement on that day. You’ll show her you respect her choice, but didn’t forget. Yes, we’re complicated, but as I’m sure you’ve figured out, the reward is worth the headache. For more great relationship advice, don’t miss our ranking of the Best Dating Apps if You’re Over 40.

Herbenick is a sexuality and relationships educator at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute. Check out her website, mysexprofessor.com.