Passive aggressiveness happens, whether you're giving your partner the silent treatment or you're on the receiving end of a snide remark. But while this unhealthy behavior can get the best of all of us from time to time, there are certain comments that may make you wonder what your significant other really thinks about the future of your relationship. Do certain sayings mean you're headed towards a breakup? Read on to see the passive-aggressive comments that may indicate your partner wants to end things—or you just need to put in a little more work.
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1 | "It doesn’t matter what I say, you never listen anyway."
4 PM production / shutterstockWhen your partner makes a remark about how you aren't listening to them, it may be a sign things are heading south in the relationship.
"This type of comment can be an indication that your partner feels unheard or ignored in the relationship," Kalley Hartman, LMFT at Ocean Recovery tells Best Life. "If this comment is frequently used, it may be time to discuss how both of you can improve your communication."
Good communication is one of the keys to successful relationship. Hartman also explains that these comments likely don't come out of the blue and are an indicator "your partner is feeling unsatisfied in the relationship."
2 | "I don’t care what we do tonight, you decide."
Just Life / ShutterstockIf you are frequently making plans while your partner is acting indifferently this could indicate trouble.
"This type of statement could mean that your partner no longer has the desire to make decisions together. If this is a regular occurrence, it may be time to re-establish your connection," says Hartman.
This can be a sure sign your partner is feeling detached from the relationship, says Crystal Jackson, former therapist and relationship writer at The Truly Charming.
"Comments like these can be a way of avoiding direct communication about feelings or desires, and they can be a sign that your partner is feeling disconnected or disengaged from the relationship."
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3 | "It doesn't matter what I do, you don't notice anyway."
fizkes/ShutterstockIf your partner keeps telling you that what you're doing isn't enough for them, it's likely an indication they are unhappy in the relationship.
"This statement could mean that your partner feels that their efforts are not being recognized or valued," says Hartman. "It may be time to talk about what’s really going on and discuss any underlying issues that could be causing them. Doing so can help ensure that both of you are feeling heard and supported in the relationship."
4 | "You seem really distant lately."
Andrey_Popov / ShutterstockWhen your partner tells you that you seem distant or not like yourself, it may be a clear hint that they aren't feeling confident about the relationship.
"Depending on the context, this could be a passive aggressive way of your partner hinting that they feel emotionally disconnected from you," says Candace Kotkin-De Carvalho, LSW at Absolute Awakenings.
While Carvalho says this doesn't necessarily always mean they want to break up with you, "it could be an indication that something needs to change in the relationship."
Jackson also tells Best Life, "These types of comments can be a way of avoiding responsibility for one's own feelings or actions, and they can create feelings of frustration and resentment in the other person."
5 | "You don't understand me."
Prostock-studio / ShutterstockWhen your partner is frequently telling you that you don't "get" them, they may be feeling undervalued in the relationship and may be looking for a way out.
"If your partner is saying comments like this, they may be expressing a feeling of being misunderstood, invalidated, and unappreciated," Carvalho tells Best Life. "It's possible that they are looking for validation or a deeper connection from you which may mean the relationship needs some work."
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6 | "I want some space."
fizkes / ShutterstockThis comment could be another red flag that your partner may be slowly pulling away from you or, as Carvalho notes, they may just be feeling overwhelmed and need some time to themselves. "This may simply mean that the relationship needs some breathing room, or it could indicate that your partner wants to break up," says Carvalho.
Tina Fey, a relationship expert and founder of Love Connection explains that some partners will say comments like this instead of directly expressing that they are unhappy in the relationship.
"This indirect approach can be a way for them to avoid facing the reality of the situation or confronting the other person," Fey says.
No matter the case, it may be best to ask your partner how they are truly feeling so you can be on the same page instead of on the verge of a breakup.
