It's not always easy to know if someone's in the mood. Sometimes, they'll come right out and say it, but often, people rely on subtle hints to get their point across—and reading those hints can be a challenge. However, according to experts, there are body language cues that signal someone is in the mood. From how they move their eyes to how they make physical contact, these signs can offer insight into whether or not you should make a move.
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1 | They give you a flirty gaze.
ShutterstockWhen parsing whether someone is in the mood, pay close attention to their eyes.
"Some people will avert their gaze in a playful way, while others will look you up and down," says Jess O'Reilly, PhD, author of The New Sex Bible and resident sexologist at Astroglide. "Others may maintain prolonged eye contact before darting their eyes away."
There may be small changes in other parts of your partner's expression, too. For example, they may smile as they make eye contact, hold an intense stare, or lick their lips while looking downward, O'Reilly explains. "No two people are alike, so you’ll want to check in to see how a partner is feeling," she says.
2 | They graze your skin.
iStockPhysical touch is another key sign your partner might be interested in getting it on.
"They might brush their hand against your inner thigh, run their fingertips over your neck, sensually graze your collarbone or tease your cheeks and ears with their cheeks or the tip of their nose," says O'Neill.
If they're avoiding these behaviors, intimacy might not be in the cards.
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3 | They lean forward.
ShutterstockTake a look at how your partner positions their body. If their arms and legs are crossed, they may feel tense or disconnected. If they're in the mood, however, you'll see different cues.
"They will likely lean forward in a way that allows them to get closer to you and look into your eyes, and they might also literally move their body to be right next to you," says Suzannah Weiss, certified sex educator and resident sexologist for the pleasure product brand Biird.
4 | They pull you close.
ShutterstockThe two of you likely don't sit side by side every hour of the day. So when your partner does close the distance, they might be in the mood.
"For many people, simply pulling their lover closer is one way to signal that they’re in the mood for sex," says O'Reilly. "Closeness can help you both to relax and feel more present and connected. The mere sensation of skin against skin can be arousing and ease you into erotic exploration."
This closeness can occur while going about your daily routine (think: hugging a person while they're washing the dishes) or getting close to kiss or hug goodnight.
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5 | They say they're in the mood.
mavo / ShutterstockWhile body language can help you guess if you're partner might be in the mood, it won't allow you to know for sure.
"You cannot know whether someone wants to have sex with you based solely on body language, especially if this is not a person you know well, and it's important not to make assumptions," says Weiss. "When in doubt, ask, or lean closer to them or gently touch them and see how they respond. Someone could, for instance, snuggle up to you but only want to cuddle and not be interested in having sex." Clarity will help you proceed properly.