What Is a Throuple? Unlocking a New Kind of Relationship
Here's everything you need to know about dating two people at the same time.
From Challengers to Bridgerton, Hollywood has helped bring a new relationship dynamic into the spotlight this summer: the throuple. But it's not brand new—and it's not something just happening onscreen either. While a traditional relationship involves just two people, the idea of a three-person relationship has been around for centuries now. If you're late to the party, don't worry. We talked to several experts to get their insight on this trendy approach to romance. Read on to learn everything there is to the throuple, and find out if it could be right for you.
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What Is a Throuple?
Sometimes also referred to as a triad, a throuple is a "romantic relationship between three people," explains Boston-based psychotherapist Angela Ficken, LICSW.
"Unlike traditional monogamous relationships involving two partners, a throuple consists of three individuals equally involved with each other," she says. "It can affect various gender combinations and is one form of polyamorous relationship in which all three partners have a significant, intimate, and committed relationship with one another."
Throuple vs. Other Types of Polyamory: What's the Difference?
A throuple is just one type of polyamory, which is a "broad term that encompasses various forms of consensual, non-monogamous relationships," according to Ficken. Other notable kinds of polyamory include v-shaped relationships and open relationships.
"The primary difference between a throuple and other types of polyamory lies in the relationship's structure," Ficken shares. "In a throuple, all three individuals are interconnected romantically and typically share a communal relationship where each person is equally involved with the other two."
In contrast, Ficken explains that a v-shaped relationship is where "one person is romantically involved with two people, but those two people are not romantically involved with each other." And in open relationships, "partners may have multiple romantic or sexual relationships outside their primary relationship."
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Common Myths Surrounding Throuples
People can have a hard time understanding romantic entanglements that are outside of the norm, so it's no surprise that there are many misconceptions surrounding non-monogamous relationships. Here are three common myths about throuples you should know about.
1. It's just a phase.
People in throuples are sometimes told that their relationship won't last because outsiders tend to believe it's "just a phase," according to Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, an anxiety, trauma, and attachment therapist based in Los Angeles.
"Many think that non-traditional relationships are experimental or temporary," she notes.
But while a throuple can be temporary, that certainly isn't always the case. Like any other type of relationship, throuples can also be very stable and long-term.
"Stability in a relationship depends on communication, trust, and commitment, not the number of people involved. Throuples that prioritize these aspects can be just as stable and long-lasting as any monogamous relationship," Groskopf says. "Many people in throuples are deeply committed and have long-term goals, just like those in traditional relationships. They work hard to build lasting, meaningful connections."
2. Throuples are only about sex.
On a similar note, some people believe that throuples are "primarily focused on sexual exploration and satisfaction," Fricken says. But it's important not to confuse a throuple with a threesome, which is the term for a sexual encounter involving three people.
"Throuples, like any other romantic relationship, involve emotional intimacy, commitment, and companionship, and are built on love and mutual respect, not solely physical intimacy," Fricken shares.
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3. The relationship dynamic is confusing to children.
Throuples face a number of harmful myths about their relationship—and that's especially true if they're considering becoming parents.
"There is a misconception that children raised in throuple households will be confused or negatively affected," Fricken says. "But studies show that children thrive in loving, supportive environments—so the critical factor is the presence of caring and attentive guardians, not the number of those guardians. Children in throuple households can benefit from additional support and perspectives."
Benefits of a Throuple Relationship
Now that we've gotten past some of the common myths associated with throuples, you might still be asking yourself, "What do people really get out of a relationship of three instead of two?" Well, here are three potential benefits of being in a throuple.
1. There is an enhanced support system.
There is strength in having two romantic partners you can turn to in times of need instead of just one.
"Probably the greatest advantage of a throuple relationship is that it allows for much greater emotional support," says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, MSc, registered clinical counselor and founder of Lotus Therapy.
Fricken agrees, adding that three people "often provide more emotional and practical support" in a relationship.
"Each person brings strengths and resources, creating a robust support network," she explains. "This enhanced support can lead to a more resilient relationship and a stronger sense of security among partners."
At the same time, when there are three people in the relationship, it is also more likely that at least "one partner is always there for the other when they need someone to lean on or are busy themselves," according to Gary Tucker, chief clinical officer and licensed psychotherapist at D'Amore Mental Health.
2. There are more people to share responsibilities.
Another potential benefit of being in a throuple is "the division of responsibilities and tasks that might reduce the burden on any one person," Esmaeilpour notes. "For example, domestic duties, financial responsibilities, and childcare can now be distributed equally among three people instead of just two."
This ability to share the responsibilities with more people can "reduce stress and allow each person to focus more on personal and collective goals at the same time," Fricken adds.
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3. There is more diversity in the relationship.
You might also benefit from a more enriched social life when in a throuple.
"That's because generally, the presence of three personalities brings diverse interests, hobbies, and circles of friends, enhancing cultural and intellectual stimuli in a relationship," Esmaeilpour says.
The diversity that comes with three people each bringing their own unique experiences and viewpoints into a relationship can "lead to better decision-making and more creative solutions to problems" as well, Fricken shares.
Challenges of Being in a Throuple
Being in a traditional two-person relationship is not always easy, so it's understandable that having multiple people in the dynamic comes with plenty of potential complications as well. Here are four challenges that can come from being in a throuple.
1. Jealousy
It's important to make sure all members of a throuple feel valued and included. But maintaining this type of balance and equality isn't always easy and may take significant effort at times, according to Esmaeilpour.
Due to this, it can be common for the green-eyed monster to rear its ugly head in a throuple.
"Jealousy can arise when one partner feels left out or less favored," Fricken says.
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2. Miscommunication
Maintaining healthy and effective communication is another major challenge throuples may face.
"The presence of a third person increases the scope for miscommunication and misunderstanding," Esmaeilpour acknowledges.
This can significantly damage the relationship over time, as "effective communication and conflict resolution skills are crucial for addressing and resolving issues as they arise," explains Fricken.
3. Time Management
Logistically, it can be harder to maintain good time management when three people are involved in a relationship instead of just two, according to Tucker.
"Those in a throuple have to plan everything very carefully while remaining open-minded about changes that may come up at any moment," he points out.
4. Social Stigma
Of course, one of the biggest challenges for throuples is "the lack of acceptance from society," Tucker says. As a result, those in a throuple often have to deal with "misunderstandings and judgments" from their family, friends, and even total strangers, Fricken adds.
"Navigating this social stigma can be stressful and isolating," she says. "It requires a solid commitment to each other and the relationship to withstand external pressures.
Tips for Maintaining a Throuple Relationship
Non-monogamous relationships are not considered the norm by our society.
"Because of this, there isn't really a blueprint for how to conduct a throuple relationship," admits Anja Mack, therapist, mentor, and coach at Erobella.
While this may be liberating for those looking to explore intimate relationships "outside of the box," it can also be confusing, according to Mack. But that doesn't mean you can't have a happy and healthy relationship between three partners. Here are six tips for maintaining a throuple relationship.
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1. Establish clear boundaries.
When you're bringing multiple people into a relationship, it is a good idea to set some ground rules at the very beginning. Clearly defined boundaries can help prevent potential conflicts later on, according to Fricken.
"A throuple relationship comes with its own unique benefits and challenges. But having agreed-upon boundaries helps manage expectations and ensures all partners feel comfortable and respected," she explains.
2. Prioritize open and honest communication.
A throuple relationship thrives best when open and honest communication is established early on, Esmaeilpour says.
"This means having regular check-ins and, more than that, being really transparent about your feelings, needs, and boundaries," she shares.
Prioritizing this type of transparency is essential for the long-term health of the relationship.
"It builds trust and helps prevent misunderstandings, ensuring all partners are on the same page," Fricken notes.
3. Make sure to schedule quality time.
Don't shoot down the idea of keeping a planner when you're in a polyamorous relationship. After all, it's important you have a schedule that "ensures each person in the trio gets to spend quality time among partners and the group," Fricken points out.
"This fosters individual connections and strengthens the overall relationship, ensuring no one feels neglected," she explains.
4. Commit to equality and fairness.
In the same vein, committing to equality and fairness with the relationship beyond quality time is crucial, according to Esmaeilpour.
"Each member must feel equal with value and respect, which one can achieve by making mutual decisions and sharing equal responsibilities," she says.
5. Take time for self-care, too.
When dividing your time between each partner in the throuple, don't forget to include yourself. In other words, you need alone time to focus on your own needs, too.
"Self-care is very important as the better one takes care of their mental and emotional health, the better the relationship." Esmaeilpour says.
6. Don't be afraid to seek outside help.
An external support system can make all the difference when it comes to maintaining a three-person relationship.
"It's always a good idea to seek outside help through therapy or other poly-friendly group," Esmaeilpour suggests. "They can provide insights and advice on how to sail through the unique dynamics of a throuple relationship."
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Wrapping Up
That's it for our guide on the throuple, whether you're just curious or looking to explore a new relationship dynamic yourself. Be sure to check back with us soon for more relationship advice that will keep you and your partner—or partners!—feeling satisfied and seen.
