10 "Silly Fights" That Can Totally Derail Your Relationship, Therapists Say
Therapists share some of the arguments that can end a partnership.
No matter how much you love your partner, they can still drive you up the wall sometimes. One minute you're cuddling on the couch and the next you're arguing about them not doing the dishes. And while this is completely normal, if you're not careful, these "silly fights" can totally derail your relationship, therapists say. Keep reading to hear from experts about the trivial arguments that can cause your partnership to head in an unhealthy direction.
RELATED: 5 Body Language Signs That Mean Your Partner Wants to Break Up, According to Therapists.
1
Fighting about if you're hiding your partner on social media
Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor who shares relationship advice on TikTok as @therapyjeff, recently posted a video about three "silly fights that can cut deep and end a relationship."
The first fight in his list is about social media. He says the onus is on the user to be respectful towards their partner and not provoke an argument. His advice: Don't hide your significant other on your page if you're active on social media.
"Your babe needs to be the first photo in the slideshow, and they need to look fantastic," Guenther says. "Be proud of your new cutie, celebrate the relationship, and make it obvious."
2
Fighting about not being introduced to other people
Similar to how you might show off your partner on social media, it's important to introduce them to colleagues, friends, and family.
"It is incredibly uncomfortable for your partner to stand beside you as you have a conversation with someone [they] do not know," explains Courtney Morgan, licensed professional clinical counselor and founder of Counseling Unconditionally. And it's not their job to introduce themselves.
Make introductions early in the relationship to avoid a silly fight down the road where your partner may feel dismissed or like you're hiding them.
RELATED: 5 Fights That Only Toxic Couples Have.
3
Fighting about not watching an episode of a show together
In the world of streaming services, it's all too easy to continue binging a show on your own, even if you and your partner decided to watch it together.
But in another TikTok video, Guenther says that though this might seem like a silly fight, it's important to honor the commitment.
"You agreed to go on the emotional and psychological journey with your sweetie," he says. "But now you're skipping ahead without them."
Since getting invested in a series together can be a bonding experience, he suggests waiting to watch the show together instead of fighting about it.
4
Fighting about your "score"
According to Emily Marriott, licensed mental health counselor and founder of Wholesome Therapy, another example of a silly fight is one focused on keeping score—"i.e. saying that you've taken the trash out four times in the last month while your partner has only done it once."
"The reality is that for a number of reasons, domestic labor cannot always be split 50/50. Keeping score like this can build resentment and really begin to erode the connection between the couple," she adds.
These disagreements can be "like comparing apples to oranges," adds Amy Morin, psychotherapist and mental strength coach at Mentally Stronger. "How do you count 'more'? Is it about the time a task takes? The amount of skill it requires? The degree of difficulty?"
RELATED: 8 Red Flags That Spell Cheating, Therapists Warn.
5
Fighting about doing chores the "right" way
Arguments over the "right" way to do household tasks could be detrimental. "Just because your partner does a task differently, doesn't mean it's wrong," explains Morin.
However, many couples get caught up in figuring out the "correct" way to load the dishwasher or fold laundry, and these fights usually start small but can blow up if you're not careful.
6
Fighting about them liking others' social media posts
This is a common argument among couples, but when it comes to the content your partner is "liking" on social media, it all depends on the content, says Sarah Intelligator, divorce attorney, relationship expert, and author of Live, Laugh, Find True Love.
"If the picture is salacious and deliberately intended to elicit 'likes' for that precise reason, then it may be inappropriate," she says.
However, when the photos are "innocuous and non-sexual," or if your partner knows the person well, then it's not worth fighting about, she notes.
RELATED: 8 "Small But Toxic" Things to Stop Saying to Your Partner, According to Therapists.
7
Fighting about them not liking your social media posts
If you and your partner are both active social media users, withholding "likes" can make it seem like you can't even do "the absolute minimum to support" your partner, says Guenther.
Intelligator agrees that this could cause a silly fight, disguising the larger issue. "What better way to exact your revenge than by withdrawing validation?" she says. "If you want to work through the problem and stay in the relationship, then a mature, respectful, adult conversation (when you and your partner are both ready to have one) is best."
8
Fighting about emojis when texting
When you're going back and forth over text with your partner and suddenly "it ends with a thumbs up emoji," it's not a good sign, says Guenther. "Whether you're aware of it or not, you're essentially hanging up the phone with a polite smile and a huge eye roll," he explains.
Of course, this doesn't apply if, as a couple, you're not big texters, but if one person is deliberately sending a signal with their emojis, it's grounds for a silly fight.
"In general, any emoji that you specifically know will trigger your partner should be avoided," notes Intelligator.
RELATED: 5 Things You're Not Texting Your Partner That Therapists Say You Should Be.
9
Fighting about your dating apps
Not deleting dating apps after defining the relationship is a big no-no. If you're in a happy partnership, why risk a silly fight over this?
Guenther also points out that there's a difference between pausing the apps and deleting them. If you've only paused them, you can still log into them and "message people that have messaged you in the past," he says.
10
Fighting about an ex using your accounts
The last fight Guenther feels can cut deep is "allowing your most recent ex to continue sharing your account for a streaming service." He says that even if your partner may act okay with the situation, it's likely they'll feel awkward every time your ex's "avatar is displayed." And it can easily lead to them questioning if you're really over your ex.
Guenther adds that to avoid this silly yet destructive fight, "set this last boundary and delete them from your account."
