The 30 Worst Home Appliances Ever Created

Still keep your porkfolio around? Yeah, we didn't think so.

The 30 Worst Home Appliances Ever Created

Still keep your porkfolio around? Yeah, we didn't think so.

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Technology’s been evolving constantly, but sometimes we have it too good. We fill our houses and our lives with home appliances we don’t need, all in the name of convenience. Can you imagine what our great-great-grandparents would think of all the ridiculous things modern people depend on?

Running water and the cell phones are one thing. But try telling them that you can’t live without a fork that reminds you to eat slower (yeah, right), or a device that’ll count your eggs (we have no comment). What follows are the 30 silliest, zaniest, most mind-bogglingly useless home appliances that have ever been invented. So read on and cringe. And for more zany trivia, be sure to check out the 20 Craziest Hollywood Rumors of All Time.

home appliances

1
Quesadilla Maker

Are you running a Mexican restaurant? If not, there’s no reason to own this. If you’re making quesadillas in such staggering numbers that a skillet and spatula alone can’t do the job, you have a quesadilla problem, my friend. Next, be sure to bone up on the 30 Most Hilarious Words for Everyday Problems.

home appliances

2
Electric Martini Maker

When James Bond asked for his martinis to be “shaken, not stirred,” he didn’t mention anything about the shaking being done by a machine. In case you’ve forgotten, here’s The One and Only Way to Really Make a Martini.

home appliances


3
Egg Counter

You’ve already got a device to warn you when you’re running low on eggs—it’s called your eyes. And they’re free! If this wacky invention has you doubled over, you’ll love the 20 Things That Everybody Secretly Finds Hilarious.

home appliances

4
Automated Floss Dispenser

We’ll tell you what: Give us the $30 and we’ll pull the floss out for you.

home appliances

5
Solid Gold Coffee Maker

Even daydreaming about owning this makes you morally indistinguishable from Mr. Burns on The Simpsons.

home appliances

6
iKettle

Who can forget this classic line from Alice in Wonderland: “Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice. “Wait, never mind, I can’t get the app to load. Let’s just have some tepid water.” And for more silly fun, check out the 100 Slang Terms from the 20th Century No One Uses Anymore. 

home appliances

7
Baseball Bay Pepper Grinder

You know there’s another use for a baseball bat, right? If we throw a baseball at you, are you gonna try and pepper it?

home appliances

8
Smartphone Controlled Kitty Water Fountain

The sales pitch for this product’s IndieGogo campaign promises to help you “keep tabs on your kitten’s water-intake right on your smartphone.” Congratulations, you just described the routine of the loneliest person on the planet.

home appliances

9
S’more Maker

Thank goodness somebody finally said, “How can I make a S’more without the bonfire or social interactions or any sense of fun? I just want the chocolate and marshmallows without any of the human contact!” Give us s’less, please. And if a S’more Maker makes you laugh, we’ve got some more humor: Here are 50 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Funny. 

home appliances

10
Taste-Enhancing Forks

If it looks like a salad, it shouldn’t smell like chocolate cake. Why are you trying to aggravate your taste buds? This product promises to release “different aromas that enhance the flavors of food.” No, it releases different aromas that trick your brain.

home appliances

11
Mini Desk Vacuum

What kind of messes are you making at your desk that require a miniature (yet adorable, admittedly) vacuum cleaner?

home appliances

12
Mini Donut Factory

No. Just no.

home appliances

13
Bruno, the Smart Trash Can

Call us old-fashioned, but we don’t think a trashcan should have a name. Isn’t that the first step to a robot revolution?

home appliances

14
Monogrammed Barbecue Branding Iron

We don’t care how delicious your steaks are, we’re not eating anything with your initials on it. We will, however, eat any meat you cook up in the 15 Best Steak Marinade Recipes of All Time.

home appliances

15
Porkfolio

A piggy bank that helps you keep track of saving digitally and set financial goals. Sounds good so far. Oh, but wait, it only accepts coins. If your financial goals only involves things you find in the couch cushions, it might be time to aim a little higher. And for (much) better ways of socking away dough, don’t miss the 52 Ways to Be Smarter with Money in 2018. 

home appliances

16
Electric Wine Opener

If working a corkscrew is just too damn difficult, allow us to make a suggestion: You’ve had enough wine. Time to go to sleep.

home appliances

17
Star Trek Borg Cube Fridge

This dorm-worthy mini-fridge asks the essential question: Can you truly enjoy an icy cold beverage if it hasn’t been soaking in green light inside a mini-fridge designed to look like a fictional spaceship? The answer is yes, which means this product is entirely useless.

home appliances

18
Omelet Maker

Is that what we’re calling “a pan” these days?

home appliances

19
Soft Pretzel Makes With Cheese Dip Warmer

Is there anything worse than making a pretzel and then realizing that you forgot to warm up the cheese dip? Well, yes, actually, there is. It’s called “Literally any other thing that could ever happen to you in your life.”

home appliances

20
Treat Tossing Dog-Watching Wi-Fi Cam

Nothing lets a dog know that he’s loved and missed quite like a robot that releases doggie-bag-shaped treats.

home appliances

21
Refrigerator with TV and Internet Connection

It’s a nightmare that too many American families have had to endure. How do you go to the refrigerator to get a snack while simultaneously watching TV and scrolling through Facebook? Haven’t we suffered enough?

home appliances

22
A Mattress That Catches Cheaters in the Act

You know you’ve got a solid marriage when you’ve both agreed to sleep on a mattress with transmitters that detect movement so that nobody tries to bone the mailman.

worst home appliances

23
Musical Cake Server

Perfect for eating a birthday cake alone and wishing somebody, even a piece of cutlery, would sing “happy birthday” to you.

home appliances

24
Self-Refilling Wine Glass

For all the people who dream of saying, “Man, my head is throbbing. How much did I drink last night? Oh yeah, that’s right, the self-refilling glass. I guess we’ll never know!”

home appliances

25
A Fork That Tells You to Stop Eating So Fast

Yeah, like you’re gonna listen to a fork…

home appliances

26
Wi-Fi Scent Dispenser

Your phone can do everything else. So why not give it the ability to make any room in your house smell instantly like watermelon Jolly Rancher or sizzling bacon? Oh yeah, that’s right, because it’s freaking stupid.

home appliances

27
Waffle Bowl Maker

It’s not just the bowl made of waffles that’s terrifying to us. What are you putting in that bowl? Maple syrup? Are you going to drink maple syrup like soup now?

home appliances


28
The “Smart” Toilet

There’s so much wrong going on here. Nobody should be controlling their toilet with a phone app—everything about a toilet is user friendly and pretty self-explanatory.

home appliances

29
iPod Stereo Dock and Toilet Paper Dispenser

We love our tunes too, but there are moments in life when you can take a break from them. Like when you’re in the can.

home appliances

30
Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

For a quick way to scare anyone away from your shower, buy this. But for ways to make your shower more inviting, be sure to check out the Hidden Secrets of Amazing Shower Sex.

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