There’s a reason the Mona Lisa and The Girl with the Pearl Earring are such iconic works of art: It’s no easy feat to capture another person’s likeness. While paint is a difficult enough medium as it is, creating a resemblance in clay or metal is an undeniably an even more difficult feat. Unfortunately, that hasn’t stopped countless less-than-stellar artists from trying their hand at celebrity sculpture, showing their not-so-masterful works to an audience of millions.
Lumpy clay, disfigured visages, and taking some undesirable creative liberties have made these celebrity statues so bad they’re worthy of every bit of derision that comes their way. Think these celebrity likenesses are eyesores? Just wait until you see The Ugliest Statue in Every State!
Lucille Ball; Celoron, NY
Although she’s since been replaced with something that doesn’t make children cry, it’s not hard to see why this grimacing version of Lucille Ball was dubbed “Scary Lucy.” Ugly statues aren’t the only American oddities worth stopping for; make a pit stop at The 33 Best Roadside Attractions in America the next time you hit the road!
Tupac; Stone Mountain, GA
Dressed in a suit with a waistcoat, aged 40 years, and bearing virtually none of Tupac’s distinctive features, if it weren’t for the identification on the plaque below, we wouldn’t have any clue who this dapper middle-aged guy is. And for more coverage of awful eyesores, don’t miss the Ugliest Sports Uniforms Ever Designed.
Cristiano Ronaldo; Madeira, Portugal
Cristiano Ronaldo is a global hero, particularly in his native Portugal. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop the city of Madeira from unveiling this deformed monstrosity at the soccer star’s eponymous airport. Thankfully, the megastar was finally given the handsome statue he deserves.
Jean-Claude Van Damme; Brussels, Belgium
The Muscles from Brussels didn’t get the warm reception he might have hoped for in the Belgian capital. From the elongated head to the unrecognizable features, this statue could be of any shirtless behemoth. And for more things you definitely don’t want to look at, here are the 10 Ugliest New Cars.
Oscar Wilde; Dublin, Ireland
While Oscar Wilde was known for his bawdy humor, this paunchy, double-chinned statue with a creepy grin on his face is hardly a joke he would be likely to find much humor in. But if you’d like to see it IRL, we’ve got some good news: Now’s Actually the Best Time to Book a Flight to Europe!
David Bowie; Aylesbury, UK
Space oddity doesn’t even begin to describe the alien-esque statue of David Bowie you can see in Aylesbury.
Martin Luther King, Jr.; Washington, D.C.
Although this statue of Dr. King is hardly the worst one out there, the Han Solo in carbonite vibes it’s giving us are definitely a questionable choice.
Kurt Cobain; Aberdeen, WA
The Bible really glosses over that part where Jesus gets into grunge. And yes, the statue is crying a single tear.
James Dean; Los Angeles, CA
James Dean’s smoldering good looks aren’t effectively captured in this statue of the late star in Los Angeles. In fact, the sculpture looks a lot more like James Franco’s version of the star than the Rebel Without a Cause himself. And for more fun celebrity trivia, don’t miss the 20 Craziest Hollywood Rumors of All Time.
Elvis Presley; Jerusalem, Israel
Wears leggings and a tiny vest? Uses his fingers a lot when he dances? Has a Mount Rushmore-sized head? Sounds like Elvis to us.
Abraham Lincoln; Springfield, IL
We’ve all heard the rumor about George Washington’s wooden teeth, but Lincoln’s gold nose is new to us. Want something a bit more impressive than an ugly statue to post on social media? It’s time to Meet the World’s “Most Instagrammable” City!
Steve Irwin; Queensland, Australia
The Crocodile Hunter and his family deserve so much better than these wrinkly, leering nightmares at the Australia Zoo.
B.B. King; Montreux, Switzerland
Blues legend B.B. King’s genius may have made him a worldwide celebrity, but this lumpy statue of him in Montreux, Switzerland makes the late star look like he’s crawling out of a swamp. Don’t have time to hit the slopes in Switzerland? The 9 Best Luxury Ski Resorts in America are worthy replacements.
Kate Moss; Oslo, Norway
Kate Moss: supermodel, designer, and double-jointed mutant, apparently.
Kanye West; Hollywood, CA
What Yeezy lacks in modesty he more than makes up for in unrecognizable statues of himself as Jesus. Luckily, you can still enjoy the magic of the movies even if Hollywood isn’t on the itinerary—just check out The Best New Star Wars Locations You Can Actually Visit!
Beloved Chicago sportscaster Harry Caray must have pissed somebody off to have this monstrous statue of him erected.
Wayne Gretzky; Edmonton, Alberta
Not only does this statue of Wayne Gretzky look like the love child of Ellen DeGeneres and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, it doesn’t quite capture the excitement of the pose it’s based off of. Instead of looking ecstatic about a win, it looks like Gretzky’s going to throw the Stanley Cup at someone.
Marilyn Monroe; Savannah, GA
Ah, finally a statue that captures Marilyn’s preferred look: sickly pale, grimacing, with hair the color of cheap mustard.
David Beckham; Various Locations
It’s bad enough that the sculptor behind this David Beckham statue shown in H&Ms around the world couldn’t create a face that looked anything like the soccer star. What’s worse is that nobody thought to not make his sizeable crotch the statue’s centerpiece.
Michael Jackson; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
“I’m bad, I’m bad, you know”—equally true about the King of Pop and the creator of this truly terrifying piece. If busy cities like London aren’t your cup of tea, book a trip to one of the 15 Best Under-the-Radar American Escapes instead.
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