30 Coffee Quotes for Anyone Who Just Can't Function Without It

Are you a coffee connoisseur? Does your barista start preparing your order as soon as they see you? Can you even function before you smell a freshly brewed pot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you'll certainly identify with our 30 favorite coffee quotes. And to feel even better about your daily brushes with the bean, here are 30 Incredible Health Benefits Coming From Your Cup of Coffee.

Morning Coffee Quotes

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1. "I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
   —Lewis Black
2. "Don't stir all the warmth out of your party, drink it."
   —Kate Chopin, The Awakening
3. "I never laugh until I have my coffee."
   —Clark Gable
4. "I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless."
   —Napoleon Bonaparte
5. "Isn't the smell of coffee the best alarm clock?"
   —S.A. Tawks, The Spirit of Pessimism
6. "I love coffee. I sometimes get excited at night thinking of the coffee I'll get to drink in the morning. Coffee is reason to wake up. There are other reasons, of course. But coffee is the incentive, at the very least."
   —Annie Clark
7. "We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup."
   —Jerry Seinfeld

Inspirational Coffee Quotes

8. "Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee."
   —Kyle MacLachlan as Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks
9. "Coffee was only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your slightly older self."
   —Terry Pratchett
10. "I have measured out my life with coffee spoons."
    —T.S. Eliot
11. "Like all good things in life, the drinking of coffee may be abused."
    —William Harrison Ukers
12. "For everything bad, there's a million really exciting things, whether it's someone puts out a really great book, there's a new movie, there's a new detective, the sky is unbelievably golden, or you have the best cup of coffee you ever had in your life."
    —Patti Smith
13. "After all, coffee is bitter, a flavor from the forbidden and dangerous realm."
    —Diane Ackerman
14. "I have a strong theory that you can tell a lot about someone by their coffee order."
    —Emmie Lee Dean
15. "Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after."
    —Anne Morrow Lindbergh
16. "Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it's something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup."
    —Gertrude Stein
17. "Black as night, sweet as sin."
    —Neil Gaiman, Anansi Boys

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Funny Coffee Quotes

18. "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
    —Alfréd Rényi
19. "Iced coffee might be cold, but it was made in heaven."
    —Anthony T. Hincks
20. "You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It's great to be here."
    —Will Ferrell as Buddy, Elf
21. "What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup."
    —Henry Rollins
22. "The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, et cetera. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing, or who on earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino."
    —Tom Hanks as Joe Fox, You've Got Mail
23. "I never said I liked coffee better than sex. I said I'd had it more."
    —Kevin Sinnott
24. "Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107."
    —Martha Beck
25. "I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now."
    —Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
26. "I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles."
    —Charles Bukowski
27. "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup."
    —Eddie Izzard
28. "Till such time that there are strong men in this world, a woman would prefer strong coffee!"
    —Manoj Vaz
29. "I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee."
    —Flash Rosenberg
30. "Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."
    —David Letterman