If you have any experience with breakup texts, then you already know how awkward these exchanges can be. While some may argue against doing things over the phone, there are times when you really don't have another option. A long-distance relationship gone wrong might require a text breakup, for instance. Casual flings don't really call for in-person get-togethers, either. And sometimes, it's best to put even serious relationships to bed through text. It all depends on your circumstances. Of course, it's not always easy to find the right words, which is why we put together a few ideas below. Keep reading for more information on how to break up with someone over text, and what to say.
READ THIS NEXT: How Do I Tell If He Loves Me? 15 Signs a Man Is Falling in Love.
How to Break Up With Someone Over Text
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Is breaking up with someone via text always the way to go? Not necessarily, but it's better than ghosting someone altogether (for those of you who have been living under a rock, we can define "ghosting" as cutting off communication without any forewarning or explanation). It's also a reasonable alternative to breaking things off in person, which we've all seen go south. So, if you decide a breakup text is how you want to proceed, then keep reading. We've outlined a few tips to make things just a little less awkward.
Be succinct
A lot of people choose to break up via text because they don't want things to drag things out in person. If you fall into that category, then lean into the choice and remember, the best breakup text messages are those that do not invite a whole lot of back and forth.
Be as polite as possible
Sure, sometimes people behave in ways that get under our skin and make us want to be a little mean. But—so long as this person hasn't wronged you in any fundamental way—it's better to be polite. Going into things too aggressively will probably invite some sort of retaliation, and that kind of defeats the whole purpose of keeping things short, sweet, and totally online.
Take a minute before pressing send.
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In the wise words of one Dorinda Medley, "Say it, forget it. Write it, regret it." If you're gearing up to dump someone, then it's pretty clear they're not your favorite person. And if they've done something to really tick you off, then you might have an overwhelming urge to say something, well, hurtful. But things said in this state often seem unclear or illogical. In short, you don't want to diminish your own argument by getting petty, no matter how good it may feel.
Is It Ever OK to Ghost Someone?
In general, it's better to avoid ghosting someone—if possible. Even if you've only been on a few dates, it's polite to let someone know what happened and why you're bowing out. Now, there are a few exceptions to keep in mind. You don't necessarily owe anyone your time, especially if they've been rude or inappropriate. And if you see any signs of potentially abusive behavior, do what you need to protect your peace.
"You don't owe them a reason, closure, nada," Rachel Wright, relationship therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist, recently shared with Shape magazine. "Your boundaries are important, and if someone isn't respecting your boundaries at the beginning of a relationship, that's a significant red flag to notice."
Polite Breakup Texts
- I think you know that things have been hard. Let’s break up now so we can remain friends.
- I think you're a great person, but it's clear we just aren't that compatible. I hope we can walk away with no hard feelings.
- I've had a great time with you, but I think it's time we walk away. We just don't connect in a way that a healthy couple should.
- I think you and I are just too different, and I don't know how to make this relationship work. Let's call it off while we're still on good terms.
- I think it's time for us to face the facts: This relationship isn't working. I don't feel much of a connection between us anymore.
- I've enjoyed getting to know you, but don't feel we're the best fit for each other.
- Hey, I feel like we've been drifting apart for some time. I hope you understand, but I really do think it's best if we go our separate ways.
Text for Ending a Casual Relationship
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- Tbh it was fun hanging out together, but I don’t think we are meant to be a couple.
- It's been really fun getting to know you over the past few weeks but I don't think we're a match. Wishing you all the best going forward.
- I've had a really wonderful time hanging out with you, but I don't see this going any further.
- I had a lot of fun meeting you but I don't know if we should make that second date happen. I think it's best to end things here.
- I have a lot of fun hooking up with you but I think I'm ready for something a little more serious. I wish you the best out there.
- Just so you know, I do care about you and I hope you don't mind me doing this over text, but I just don't feel much of a spark between us.
- You're a blast to hang out with but I think I'd like to pursue something with someone whose lifestyle is a little more aligned with my own moving forward.
Breakup Text If They Were Rude or Inappropriate
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- I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable with your behavior. I think it's best if we go our separate ways.
- Your behavior has been really bothersome and I am no longer interested in pursuing this any further.
- I just wanted to let you know that I did not feel comfortable with how you acted last night. We clearly aren't a match, and I don’t want to keep communicating.
- I no longer feel comfortable hanging out one-on-one. I hope you do better with someone else.
- I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in pursuing something with someone who isn't honest and trustworthy. Please don't contact me again.
- Your lack of respect on our last date was pretty astonishing, so I'm calling things off.
- Sorry we have to part ways, but I'm hoping to meet someone who will treat me with the respect and affection I deserve.
Sad Breakup Texts That Will Make Him Cry
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- You are a wonderful person. You deserve someone who can give you the time and attention that I can’t. She's out there, you just have to go find her. I won't hold you back any longer.
- I've grown so much with you, but it's time for me to do my own thing. I'm worried that if I stay in this with you, I'll stagnate and miss out on who I could become.
- You're more than a great boyfriend, you're also my best friend. But we both know this isn't working. We should walk away now so that we can both find true happiness with someone else.
- I feel lucky to have shared so many memories with you, but it's clear that we want different things. Know that I will always look back on things fondly. This really has been a great relationship.
- Holding on isn't the only indication of love. Letting go is also part of the equation. You deserve to be with someone who can give you all the things you want; all the things that I cannot. Believe me when I say sorry for any pain I may have caused you.
- I've realized there's more to me than loving you. I got so used to being your other half, and I completely forgot what it was like to put myself first. I'm sorry, but we can't see each other anymore.
- We both deserve to live happily ever after, we might just have to do so separately. I wish you nothing but luck in love ahead.
- I love you with all my heart but this isn't working. We both deserve to be with someone who appreciates us for the good and the bad. I don't want to see things go any further south between us.
Breakup Text When It Feels More Like a Friendship
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- I don't think we're on the same page when it comes to where this relationship is headed. I think it might be best to call things off before we go any further.
- There should be more of a spark between romantic partners than what exists between us. I think we both should pursue a real connection with someone else.
- I love spending time with you, but the romantic element just isn't there for me.
- If I'm being honest, I think you look at me as more of a friend than a lover. I hope you understand, and I wish you nothing but the best in the future.
- It’s been super fun hanging out with you, but I'm getting more of a friend vibe between us. I'd still love to hang out if you’re down.
- Thanks for meeting up for drinks last night. I don’t think there’s a romantic spark, but I wish you the best out there.
- Hi, hope you're well. I really enjoyed getting to know you but I'm not feeling a real connection between us. It was lovely meeting you.
- I wanted to say that I really enjoyed talking with you and would love to do it again, but for me, it would be as friends. Not sure if you would be into that?
When Should I Break Up With Someone Over Text?
There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to calling it quits. Listed below are just a few scenarios you might want to back out of.
1. When IRL attempts aren't working
It's hard to keep things short and sweet when it comes to ending a long-term relationship. But at some point, you've got to pull the plug.
2. When you've been texting nonstop for a few days
There may be a lot to say about a breakup, but the act itself doesn't need to take too long. Sometimes, it takes stepping away from them in person to really call things off.
3. When you weren't feeling it on the first date, but they keep asking to hang out
There's no point in stringing someone along, especially if it's still early on. Keep the breakup as casual as the relationship itself, and send them off with a simple text message.
4. When it's clear that they're just looking for something casual
If you two aren't aligned on where you see things going, then it's best to break things off early. If they want to keep things casual, then why not humor them with some of the same—even when it comes to breaking things off.
5. When you cringe every time they open their mouth
You don't like what they have to say? Well, you might not like them at all. And if that's the case, it's probably early enough to end things informally.
6. When there's already been a lot of fighting
Warning: you might be in a toxic relationship. If you want, break things off now and avoid bringing that kind of energy into your personal space.
Wrapping Up
That's it for now, but be sure to check back in with us soon for even more ways to navigate your way around love—and loss. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next.
