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25 Bar Jokes To Tell Again and Again

Two guys walked into a bar...

Any hour can be Happy Hour when you have a few hilarious bar jokes on hand. The classic "walks into a bar" setup brings on the creativity when it comes to making people laugh. To help you tell some impressive bar jokes, we rounded up a few there are short and sweet, so you can tell them again and again. Check out the best bar jokes and be sure to test them out on your friends for a good laugh.

The best "walks into a bar" jokes

Beers Over Ice - best bar jokes

  1. So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey. This is a singles bar."
  2. Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
  3. A crab walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint please, but if I'm  not satisfied with it, I'd like to be compensated with ten bottles of  champagne." The bartender says, "Why the big clause?"
  4. A bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers in here." A time traveler walks in a bar…
  5. E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors."
  6. Two dragons walk into a bar. One says to the other, "It's hot in here." The other snaps back, "Shut your mouth!"
  7. The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
  8. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
  9. Two jumper cables walk into a bar. One of them says "We'd like a couple of beers, please."
    The bartender says "Okay, but don't start anything."
  10. Three fonts walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve your type in here."
  11. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
  12. Why did the woman bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
  13. ƒ(x) walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't cater for functions."
  14. A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
  15. A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop", goes the weasel.
  16. A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"
  17. A sandwich walks into a bar. The landlord says, "Sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
  18. A horse walks into a bar. The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, "Hey!"The horse says, "You read my mind, buddy."
  19. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk not a bar. No joke.
  20. A dyslexic man walks into a bra…
  21. Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I'll have an H2O please"
  22. The second scientist says, "I'll have an H2O too." The second scientist died .
  23. A tennis ball walks into a bar. The barman says, "Have you been served?"
  24. A cornstalk walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Want to hear a joke?" The corn stalk replies, "I'm all ears!"
  25. A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He asks for one beer, and one for the road.

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