It goes without saying that blinds are functional: They keep out the light and they provide homeowners with privacy. But when it comes to style, blinds frequently miss the mark. After all, there's so much that could go wrong. They could get dusty. They could bend. They could break and fall halfway to the floor on a weird diagonal. And, of course, they could simply go out of style. (Hello, vertical blinds from the 1980s!)
If you've ever considered (or worse, bought) one of the 15 styles below, we suggest you ditch them ASAP. Because if it came between looking at these hideous creations or staring at the sun, we'd put our eyes to the sky any day!
1 | Gold Mirror Reflective Vinyl Vertical Blinds
What year is this? It's hard to believe that these reflective gold-mirror blinds from Amazon were ever fashionable, and it's even more stunning that they're still available today. Unless you want to be able to check out your makeup and channel the worst of the '70s all in one shot, we recommend leaving these blinds behind.
2 | "Mona Lisa" Blinds
When Leonardo da Vinci created the "Mona Lisa," he surely never imagined that it would be reprinted on everything from socks to lunch bags to, of course, blinds. For the totally reasonable (we kid) price of $171, this window-treatment recreation from Amazon could be all yours.
3 | Vertical Maui Slotted Window Blinds
Not only are these Target blinds a heinous shade of tan-brown (or, technically, "cocoa"), but also the hard-to-ignore pattern makes each slat look like it's been smeared with dirt.
4 | "Hope, Believe, Dream, Love" Arrow Blinds
While these inspirational blinds from Walmart are admittedly a lot cuter than plenty of other options on the market, you'll need a very specific type of décor—and maybe the aesthetic sensibilities of a 13-year-old—to make them work.
5 | Brown Magnetic Blinds With White Flowers
There's a lot happening with these roll-up magnetic blinds from Amazon. Not only do they feature stripes, flowers, and two of the world's ugliest colors, but they're also adorned with an accordion-like frill at the bottom. Not to mention, they don't look like they could block out the sun if they tried.
6 | Orange Plaid Natural Bamboo Roll-Up Roman Blinds
Orange plaid isn't entirely unredeemable—just look at your preppiest friend's wardrobe. But on blinds, this pattern is a lot to take in. You'll want to leave these bamboo roll-up blinds from Walmart on the shelf, where they belong.
7 | Galloping Horse Blinds
Sure, horses are majestic. But having the image of a massive stallion galloping toward your window is a bit extreme. Fortunately, these roller shades from Amazon come in 18 other patterns—though we'll let you judge whether they're any less confusing.
8 | Vertical Wood Blinds
If you weren't lucky enough to have wood paneling on your walls, there's still hope! You could buy these vertical wood blinds for the same effect—though, honestly, we hope that you don't.
9 | Pink Macaron Blinds
Macarons can be just as eye-pleasing as they are delicious. But when you pop a pattern of pink macarons onto blinds, like these ones from Amazon, they apparently wind up looking like cotton candy-flavored burgers. Pass!
10 | Optical Illusion Blinds
Granted, no one wants the sun to burn out their corneas, but these crazy blinds from Amazon aren't any easier on the eyes. We don't know exactly what type of illusion is going on here, but we're pretty sure that if you stare at these things long enough you'll start seeing the lines move.
14 | Flat Roman Blinds with Flowers and Orange Border Valance
At one point—back when shoulder pads were in style—valances were all the rage. But now, it's hard to imagine what kind of décor would call for these frumpy blinds from Amazon. While the floral motif might look lovely on your beloved grandmother's dress, it's a little overwhelming as a window-covering.
11 | Country Garden Blinds
Another design that would be better suited for Nana's Sunday best, this vibrant pink and yellow flower pattern from Amazon is so bright you might be better off sticking with sunlight.
12 | Faded Red, White, and Blue Roman Blinds
Let's be honest, these blinds from Amazon look like something a toddler would wear on the Fourth of July in the '50s. There are prettier ways to be patriotic, and they don't have to do with window treatments.
13 | Under-the-Sea Fish Blinds
Scuba divers, tropical-sea swimmers, and ichthyologists (that's the fancy word for "fish scientist") may like the look of these coral reef blinds from Amazon. But if your goal is to add a water element to your home, you might want to just stick with an aquarium.
15 | Sailboat Sunset Blinds
Finally! A way to look directly at the sun without looking directly at the sun. If you want to wake up to a sunny scene but aren't satisfied with the one that's outside your actual window, you might be into these sailboat blinds from Amazon. And once you decide to swap out your window treatments—or anything else in your home—you'll want to know the 30 Next-Level Home Design Tricks from Celebrity Designers.
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