5 Things You Should Never Have in Your Bedroom, Relationship Experts Say
Keeping these items in the bedroom could create problems for you and your partner.
Whether you're already in a relationship or are looking to get into one, your romantic partner is likely to get a closer look into your bedroom than most people at some point. This space often serves as the center stage for building intimacy with another person. But it can also act as a breaking point for couples depending on certain factors. Talking to relationship experts, we got some insight into how exactly this room can affect the bond between you and a romantic counterpart. Read on to find out what they say are five things you should never have in your bedroom if you don't want to cause problems in your relationship.
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1
Work-related items
They say don't bring your work home, though, in the age of remote jobs, this might not be the most applicable advice. But that doesn't mean you still shouldn't avoid bringing your work into the bedroom, according to Aaron Kelsay, LPC, a licensed therapist who works with couples in Portland.
"Anything that creates an internal, mental space of 'be productive,' 'pay attention,' 'get to work,' or otherwise distracts you from your partner or sleep should be stored elsewhere," Kelsay says.
Ann Russo, LCSW, a professional therapist with AMR Therapy, warns that this can create a sense of stress and anxiety in your space as well.
"Work-related items such as laptops or paperwork in the bedroom make it difficult to relax and unwind," Russo explains. "It can also create a sense of imbalance in the relationship, where work takes priority over quality time with a partner."
2
Exercise equipment
You don't want any workout things in your bedroom either.
As Pierce Biglefthand, LCSW, a licensed counselor working at the ChoicePoint treatment center, explains, exercising can help you relax and put you into a good mindset. But on the other hand, it can create an annoying environment for your partner if it's taking up your sleep space.
"If your significant other is in the habit of sleeping late or waking up early, and your exercise sessions disrupt their sleep, that is not going to be very healthy for your relationship," he says.
3
Electronics
It's not just your work laptop you need to worry about. Russo says all electronic devices such as personal computers, televisions, and phones can act as major distractions in the bedroom.
"They can interfere with sleep, create a sense of distance between partners, and hinder intimacy," she explains.
If you can't commit to removing electronics from the bedroom altogether, Russo advises to "at least set boundaries around their use."
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4
Family photos
Family photos are nice to have around the home—everywhere but the bedroom, that is.
Nancy B. Irwin, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles, says you should only keep photos of yourself and your partner in this space to help "enhance the intimacy" of your relationship.
"Family photos, kids, dogs, etc. can be in another room," she says. "They are absolutely important, but should not intrude in the couple's retreat."
5
Keepsakes from an ex
Your new flame likely doesn't want to be reminded of your past relationships.
Heather England, PhD, a relationship therapist and founder of Loved Filled Life, says you should never try to hide physical memories of your ex in your bedroom.
"Imagine your thoughts and feelings if you discovered your partner had a box of treasured keepsakes from a past relationship," she explains. "You would likely wonder if they had moved on or if they were pining away for their past partner. It might feel like their ex is a third person in your relationship."
Instead, England says old notes, ticket stubs, and photos linked to your ex should actually be thrown away.
But if there's some reason you can't let go of these, don't keep them in your bedroom for your new partner to find. "At a minimum, they should be boxed up and put away on the back of a shelf in the basement," she advises.
