Getting turned down hurts, but let’s face it: in the right context, it can also be kind of hilarious. And once the sting passes, a particularly brutal rejection can be a great story to share over a couple of beers at the bar. On Saturday, one particularly forthcoming social media user named Jake decided to share some of the worst ways in which he’s been rejected in a Twitter thread that has now gone viral.
“As a guy, I realize that no girl has ANY obligation to go out with me, and anything other than yes means no, and rejection isn’t the end of the world,” he wrote. “That said, here’s a thread of the funniest ways girls have told me no without actually telling me no. Enjoy!”
So read on for some of his best stories. And for true testimonies proving that sometimes things actually work out, read 20 Adorable “How We Met” Stories That Will Warm Your Heart.
Put On Hold Forever
“I was literally on the phone with her in the process of asking her out and she said ‘Hey I’m so sorry, my mom is calling. Can I put you on hold for like 2 seconds?’ she kept me ON HOLD for 45 MINUTES til i hung up and texted her and asked her to call me when she could. She never did.”
“I asked her on a date (via text, which you should not do for various reasons I was young and naïve okay) and she replied ‘You’re not going to try to kiss me, are you?’ I said ‘nope.’ And she said ‘Oh. In that case, no thanks.’ I was… bamboozled.”
“I called her on a Monday to set up a date for that Friday. She said yes! Fast forward to Thursday night at approximately 11:20 pm. She calls me and says ‘Listen… my boyfriend and I broke up on Monday before you called so I said yes but we just got back together so I can’t go.”
This Does Not Compute
“I asked her in person, freshman year. She said, ‘Didn’t you go on a date with Lauren two weeks ago?’ I was like ‘Yeah, why?’ Well, she went on a date with Chandler last week and I’m friends with Chandler and [so she said that] I just think it would be weird if I went on a date with you after that.”
The Pope Is Not Jewish
“She and I had just met at a party. I thought we were hitting it off pretty well, so as I was leaving I was like, ‘Hey, I’d love to talk some more! Can i take you on a date sometime?’ and she said, ‘Is the Pope Jewish?’ I was like, ‘n– oh. okay.'”
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