23 Secrets Your Mailman Knows About You
Neither snow nor rain could stop your postal worker from getting in your business.
Your mailman and Gretchen Wieners’ hair have something in common: They’re both full of secrets. Even the most innocent postal workers know a thing or two about the personal lives of the people they deliver mail to. That’s because, though you may not realize it, your bills and letters give a lot away. From where you shop to how you vote, here are some of the secrets your mailman knows about you.
When You’re on Vacation
When people know that they’re going to be away for a long period of time, they often choose to have their mail held at their local post office to prevent their mailbox from overflowing. So it doesn’t take much for your mailman (or woman) to connect the dots and realize that no mail for days means that you’re not home.
Which Banks You Use
It’s not hard for your mail carrier to figure out which banks you use, seeing as your credit union sends you bills and statements on a monthly basis.
Don’t worry, though: Unless they’re opening your mail, your postal worker can’t actually do anything with this information, as far as stealing from you or scamming you.
And Whether You Have Good Credit
People with good credit scores tend to receive more offers in the mail to sign up for “exclusive” credit cards with benefits galore. Folks with poor credit, on the other hand? Let’s just say that they’re not being bombarded with propositions from creditors. So no matter which end of the spectrum you’re on, your mail carrier probably knows.
Your Upcoming Events
Even if they don’t mean to pry, it’s hard for a mail carrier not to notice those giant, formal wedding invitations, especially when they’re wedged in between Kohl’s catalogs and credit card bills. So if you’ve got a full calendar ahead, your mail carrier likely knows it. And if you don’t, they know that, too.
Where You Shop
Your mailman could practically be your personal shopper, given their insight into your retail preferences. With all of those catalogs you receive in the mail, your postal worker definitely knows a thing or two about your go-to stores and retail outlets.
And How Often You Shop
Even though your postal worker doesn’t deliver all of your packages, he or she probably takes note or how many—or how few—are sitting outside your door when they deliver your mail. You might be able to hide your online shopping sprees from your spouse, but you’re never going to be able to hide them from your mail carrier.
When You’re Getting Married
Your postal worker is going to be acutely aware that you’re getting married thanks to the dozens of wedding RSVPs showing up in the mail. So don’t be surprised if they offer you a hearty congratulations!
And When You’re Going Through a Divorce
The lawyer bills. The moving trucks. The missing car in the driveway. If your mail carrier is even slightly observant, then he or she will know what’s going on as soon as you and your spouse begin going through the separation process.
When You’re Expecting
It’s safe to assume that those nursery deliveries, Buy Buy Baby catalogs, and baby shower RSVPs have tipped your mailman off to the fact that you’ve got a baby on the way.
When You Lose Your Job
Those letters in the mail from the unemployment office are a clear sign that you’re currently unemployed. Combine that information with the fact that you’re home every time the mail is delivered when you didn’t used to be, and it’s pretty much a no-brainer for your mail carrier.
When You’re Moving
Before you can move out of your old house or apartment, you first have to do things like secure a mortgage and inform the post office about your new address, which both involve mailbox communication of some sort. Eventually, your mail carrier is likely to catch on to the fact that you’re making arrangements to relocate.
Your Political Beliefs
If you’re affiliated with a specific political party, then candidates and organizations associated with the party you favor are almost certainly going to mail you pamphlets and letters begging you to donate what you can and vote in their favor—pamphlets and letters that your mail carrier will take note of.
When You Break the Law
When you’re in trouble with law, your mail makes it pretty obvious. You might be able to keep your charges a secret from your comrades and co-workers, but your mailman knows exactly what a legal citation looks like.
If you have magazine subscriptions, then your mail carrier probably knows what you enjoy doing in your spare time. If you subscribe to Fine Gardening, for instance, then it’s not crazy to assume that you have a green thumb. And if you’re a devoted reader of Yachting, then it’s probable that you enjoy spending time on the water.
How Old Your Kids Are
After you take your first standardized test in high school, it’s not long before you receive brochures begging you to check out college campuses. When these pamphlets start to arrive in the mail, your postal worker can deduce that your child is around 16 or 17. And even when your kids are younger, there are other things that come in the mail—like letters from elementary schools and bills from pediatricians—that give an idea of how old your children are.
And Your Age, Too
When you reach a certain age, you start to get special offers in the mail specific to certain demographics. After 50, for instance, you receive letters about joining AARP and signing up for exclusive senior benefits. And retirement homes tend to target households where people are reaching the age of, well, retirement. It’s not hard for your mail carrier to notice.
The Name of Your Pet
Your mail carrier doesn’t just know what kind of pet you have—it’s likely that he or she has also formed some sort of bond with them, too. The mailman-animal alliance is so common, in fact, that there’s even a Facebook group called UPS Dogs with more than a million followers devoted to documenting these unique friendships.
Your Cleaning Habits
Your mail carrier doesn’t even have to so much at glance at your mail to get a sense of whether or not you’re a clean person. They can take a look at your lawn, your cars, and the exterior of your house in order to gauge just how tidy or untidy you really are.
Your Religious Beliefs
With holiday cards flooding mailboxes all throughout December, it’s not hard for mail carriers to distinguish which of their clients celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or perhaps, don’t observe any of these holidays.
Plus, many religious institutions will send out newsletters, which is another indication of a person’s religion.
Your Socioeconomic Status
Even if your mail doesn’t necessarily give away how much money you make, obvious things like the size and location of your house and the types of cars sitting in your driveway probably do.
When Someone Close to You Dies
When there is a death in someone’s family, they usually receive condolence cards, bouquets of flowers, and visitors offering support. Your mailman only has to take note of one of these things to come to the conclusion that you’re in the grieving process.
When Your Birthday Is
Most of us don’t get much personal mail too often. So it’s not difficult for your mailman to deduce that an influx of handwritten cards means that there’s a special occasion being celebrated in your household, like a birthday.
When You’ve Been in the Hospital
When you start receiving a myriad of hospital bills in the mail, it’s fairly obvious to your mail carrier that you’ve just spent some time either recovering from a bad illness or recuperating from surgery.
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