Ah, spring. We’re finally released from the frigid grip of winter, free to bust out sundresses and convertibles and enjoy some gloriously sunlit outdoor lunches. As such, spring is widely considered the most wonderful time of the year. In fact, according to one Gallup poll, 36 percent of Americans list spring as their favorite season—even more so than foliage-flecked fall.
Here’s the thing: Those 36 percent are wrong. Spring is the worst season—by far.
Yeah, I said it. Spring is downright awful. And though this may come across as sacrilege, a lot of people agree with me. (Just ask the 50 million odd Americans who suffer seasonal allergies.) And while a lot of the things that make spring so insufferable are one-offs—obnoxious holidays, torrential downpours, freshly awoken mosquitoes—as opposed to a blanket dislike of the period, one thing’s for sure: There’s a lot more to hate about spring than there is to like. Here’s why. But to make the most, at least, of this torrid time of year, try wearing any of the 7 Best Dress Shoes for Spring.
The time changes.
Fact: Everyone’s fed up with the switch to daylight savings time. In fact, just this month, the Florida state legislature introduced a bill to keep the time consistent all year round. And then Florida senator Marco Rubio introduced a bill in the U.S. Senate for the whole nation to adopt it. What’s more, according to a recent poll, a staggering 74 percent of Americans want to abolish the practice. One thing’s for sure: Staying consistent would make military time a lot easier to read.
It’s time to file taxes.
Tax Day, the most financially stressful day of the year—and the bane of every CPA in the country—falls on April 15th, smack in the middle of spring. You have to spend the first half of spring stressing out about paperwork, and the second half freaking out about how your tax return wasn’t the flush check you planned on it being. If you find yourself stressing about Tax Day, be sure to learn Your Single Best Last-Minute Tax Move.
You’re more likely to get dumped.
Per data cobbled from Facebook status updates, more breakups occur in March than any other month of the year. Among college students and recent graduates, this practice is referred to, cynically, as “spring cleaning.” To avoid your own romantic spring cleaning, steer clear of the 40 Actually Terrible Relationship Tips.
There’s nothing good on TV.
Whether it’s Oscar bait on the big screen or prestige series on Netflix, the crème de la crème comes out in the fall or winter. (Studio executives want their productions to be fresh in the minds of awards show voters.) At least in the summer we get blockbusters and beach reads. The spring gets nothing.
The roads are more dangerous.
According to National Highway Traffic Safety Administration data, a particularly popular springtime weekend is the most deadly period to drive in the year: Memorial Day. Per their research, about 130 people die in car crashes that weekend—per day. (For comparison, the three-day New Year’s weekend sees about 80 vehicular fatalities per day.) The culprit behind these staggering figures? Alcohol.
Spring break! Woo!
If you live in Florida, spring break—denoted as the period between March 1st and April 15th, when universities typically schedule weeks off—is the most tourist-clogged time of the year. According to Visit Florida, the state’s tourism marketing company, more than 25 million college-aged kids descend on Florida’s cascading beaches in that period.
Your kid’s gonna be stressed out.
Speaking of college kids, finals are far and away more stressful in the spring semester. And if you’re a parent, have fun dealing with that. Yes, fall semesters, curriculum-wise, are the same. But finals in the fall lead into a month-long break, whereas, in the spring, they lead into summer internships—or worse: Graduation into the real-world job hunt.
Yes, graduation is a time of celebration and revelry. It’s also really annoying (for locals, at least). Take Boston, for example. There are 52 higher education institutions in the city; collectively, according to the Boston Redevelopment Association, they enroll more than 150,000 undergraduates—which amounts to about 37,500 kids per graduating class.
Now, each of those kids can invite anywhere from four (Harvard University) to six (Emerson College) guests to commencement, meaning that, over the spread of a few weekends in May, hundreds of thousands of tourists descend on the city. Take it from someone who lived there for years: It’s an unmitigated disaster.
Opinion: St. Patrick’s Day festivities are a doozy.
Yes, St. Patrick’s Day, as a traditional Irish holiday, should absolutely be celebrated. But stateside, it’s little more than an excuse to drink for 24 hours straight and dress in vivacious green (despite that fact that St. Patrick himself legendarily wore blue).
But don’t take it from me. Take it from Erin Gloria Ryan, a self-proclaimed “Irish Fancypants McIreland,” over at Jezebel: “I don’t get a kick out of being around the enforced sloppy revelry and I find getting on a bus full of people who are already beginning to sweat out metabolized Miller Lite at 3 pm crushingly depressing.”
It’s a holiday wasteland.
There are no federal holidays—in other words, three-day weekends—between President’s Day (February 19th) and Memorial Day (May 28th). It’s the longest stretch of the year without a federal holiday.
Bugs come out.
Yes, it’s that time of year: Mosquito-biting season. And if you’re seriously fine with that, you may want to check out What Happens to Your Body When A Mosquito Bites You.
You’re itchier (and cough more).
According to the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, spring allergies are—and this is paraphrasing—the worst. Thanks to increased levels of grass and tree pollen, the two most serious allergens, you’re more likely to be itchy, to cough more, and to experience sinus irritation in the spring than any other time of year. And to see which locales have the worst levels of allergens, learn the 20 Worst U.S. Cities for Allergies.
It’s impossible to pick a consistent outfit.
It’s not just in your head: Springtime temperatures swing wildly like a freshly struck pendulum. Take Chicago, for example. According to NOAA data of April weather through the past four decades, the mean maximum is about 82 ºF. The minimum? 27 ºF. How in the world does one dress for that?
The weather warms up.
It’s downright torrential.
Spring weather also heralds something worse than unpredictable temperature fluctuations: It constantly rains. (“April showers,” indeed.) And while spring doesn’t include the rainiest month for certain cities—for example, December in Seattle, or February in Los Angeles—the overall persistence of rainfall in the late March to early June is more frequent than any other time of year.
There’s a serious umbrella problem.
Rain means, of course, more umbrellas. And while that’s wouldn’t necessarily be an issue, people are tending to purchase larger and larger umbrellas. According to one New York Times report, umbrella-donning folks are wielding large (60 to 68 inches) umbrellas more frequently than regular-sized ones (40 to 48 inches), a one-foot-plus difference. That’s a lot of sidewalk space to sacrifice merely to stay dry.
Puddles ruin everything.
Ever stepped in a puddle while wearing nice leather shoes? Or have you even been victim of the cinematic truck-puddle splash? If you find yourself on either end of these events, try out some of the best rain gear everyone should have for spring.
The entire concept of “spring cleaning.”
Whether you’re Marie Kondo-ing it or trying out the nascent trend of “Swedish death cleaning” (oh, that’s a thing), ask yourself: Why does this have to happen in the spring? Why can’t you just be clean all year round?
It’s the end of winter.
For skiers, snowboarders, ice skaters, snowshoers, snowmobilers, ice sculptors, snowball fighters, snow angel makers, and every fan of a winter wonderland—not to mention placid lovers of the holiday season, and the hot cocoa and gingerbread galore that comes with—spring is less the beginning of better days and more the end of great ones.
And it means summer is around the corner.
Think spring is bad? Don’t even get me started on summer.
To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter!